Disclaimer: Not mine. Just borrowed them from Random House for a while.

Note: This takes place in The Sasquatch Mystery on page 127 of the cream paperbacks where Jim decides to sit and stay awake with Knut. The Easy Life is somewhat of a next in line to the story I wrote for Saratoga (Thorough Thinking). I am using Jim’s thoughts at the end of that one, and his words in this one to explain why (I feel) he was less than helpful as well as testy at times to Trix in books 25 to midway through 29 (I’ll deal with 30-39 later J . In fact I’ll probably end up dealing with the rest of them sooner or later [wink]). However, you don’t have to read Thorough Thinking to understand this one.

The Easy Life

By Heather (Trix15)

" Later, when Honey and Trixie were in their sleeping bags, Trixie could see two heads, the one black, the other red, bent close together. She could hear the rumble of young male voices. Her throat ached because there were no bursts of laughter.

Long after the murmuring in the various tents had ceased, discomfort in her hands kept Trixie awake. It was so quiet that she could hear the whispering, if not the individual words between Jim and Knut."

 

There must be something about the wilderness that makes a man want to open his heart to someone, Jim thought. He was sitting on a chair beside Knut, shortly after everyone else had gone to bed. They were speaking in low voices; Knut’s deep bass mixed with Jim’s rich baritone. Little to the knowledge of anyone else, Jim’s questions and Knut’s answers had thus far centered on Gloria, Knut’s girlfriend, although for more selfish reasons than Jim would care to admit. Jim supposed they should have been discussing Cap, but Knut had jokingly commented to him that he could stay if they talked about anything but his brother. I just need to not think about it for a while, he had said. How then Jim came to ask him to say more about Gloria, he wasn’t sure. It had just happened.

"What do her parents think of the two of you?"

"They’re pretty happy," Knut answered. "They, of course, let it slip every once in a while that we’re still too young to be making a serious commitment but I think they understand that we know what we’re doing. – smart enough to go slow."

"Have you thought about the future?"

"Well, yes. But I think we both realized early on that there was a huge difference between thinking about the future and planning for it."

Jim looked thoughtful. "You mean you’ve talked about it, but set nothing in stone." It was more of a statement.

"I mean we’ve talked about our dreams and desires, our goals, likes and dislikes – that sort of thing. But is it binding us to a promise of a future together? We’re not at that point yet and we’re in no hurry to get there."

There was silence between the two. More than once, Knut had caught, out of the corner of his eye, Jim’s attention focused on Trixie’s tent. He knew that Jim had been distressed about Trixie’s slip and slide down the saddle. It had been difficult to miss the way his fingers had caressed her hand as he held it while Brian examined her injuries. But he had also watched how Jim had as well kept his distance from the situation soon afterwards. Sure, the hunt for Cap had begun, but he had quickly laid down her hand long before Brian was ready to do any of his first aid while Honey merely watched the two in confusion. In fact, Knut could remember seeing very little, or at least less than he had expected, interaction between the two ever since the Bob-Whites had landed in Idaho. Knut sighed. He knew well the signs of a man who was trying hard not to see what was right in front of his eyes. He had done it himself, believing that Gloria was just a childhood friend and that to imagine anything more would do damage to that friendship. So he had backed away, afraid of what would happen if he let himself get too close.

He hesitated before he spoke. "Hallie mentioned that you and Trix have somewhat of a special friendship. Is that... what’s happening there?"

Jim sighed. "We do. I suppose you could say that." He paused, taking time to think carefully about his words. "Our groom, Regan, disappeared earlier in the month. Honey and Trixie, being the people they are, wanted to find him and figure out what was going on – help him if they could. It ended well – a seven year crime was put to rights, but not before the culprits had kidnapped them and Regan, who was trying to thwart their plans to commit the same crime again." He stopped.

Knut made a motion for him to continue.

"They tied them up and drove them to a remote location outside Saratoga, where all this was taking place and left them there. They managed to escape and we found them in time to alert the authorities. But not before I’d nearly gone out of my mind with worry. It was the nightmare of St. Louis all over again," he added under his breath. Knut decided to leave it alone.

"I remember thinking in the car on the way home that I didn’t know how I could do this any more. It’s too much. Too many times I’ve been in this same position, having to imagine her in the hands of crooks – at their mercy. The next time they might not be so nice, if you can call what they did to Trix, Honey and Regan nice. And I wonder when one day I won’t be able to rescue her."

Jim had figured that Knut, having a sister and girlfriend of his own would understand. And Knut did – but his response to Jim was simply not what the young man was expecting.

"Is that your job?"

"What?" Jim looked up in surprise.

"Jim – I know you have feelings for Trixie. It’s obvious just based on what I’ve seen and heard, or not seen and heard, since you all got here. And even though I know you want to, you can’t protect her from all of life’s dangers. It’s just not possible. Life would be so much easier if we could. But as you well know yourself, life isn’t easy, it isn’t fair and nothing we can do will change that. I think perhaps because of your past experiences in life, you’re more sensitized to wanting to protect others from the harms you went through. Harm causes damage whatever the nature. But, and mind you, I am not telling you what to do, or how to life your life, but I think you’ll have to make a decision Jim. Can you live knowing that the woman you’ve… well – the woman you’ve chosen will have a potentially dangerous career and yet enjoy all the myriad benefits of being with her? Or can you not accept it, knowing that one day you might end up having nothing of her, including friendship?"

"That’s what I’m afraid of," Jim continued in his low voice. "One day having nothing of her."

"But if you want anything of her – that might be a chance you have to take. Even strong friendships are hard pressed to survive when one person wants something romantically and the other doesn’t. Jim, one of the things Gloria and I talked about is that in order for two people to be happy, you must be accepting. There’s no hard and fast rule about liking everything about a person – but you must accept certain things if you love someone. If not, you’ll constantly be trying to change them and end up making you both unhappy. Sooner or later, resentment creeps in. And that’s almost impossible to get rid of.

"Trixie’s my cousin and I can’t say I’m always fond of that trait of hers that causes her to get in harm’s way. Look what happened when Hallie was out visiting you guys? But she’s still my cousin and I love her almost as if she were a little sister that I hardly ever see. But I do hear much about her from Uncle Peter. And I learned a long time ago that some of the things I’m most worried about concerning her, are the things that make her who she is. And I’ll have to just deal with that and hope not to get a phone call in the middle of the night one day."

Silence fell again between the two, but it was far from uncomfortable. Although Jim was not sure that he felt immediate relief from talking with Knut, he now at least had some things to work with. He had been reluctant to talk about this very subject with Brian. Brian was too close to the situation, being Trixie’s brother and Jim’s own best friend. But upon finding that Knut was quite similar to Brian and that they got along well, Jim seized the chance to talk to him about what had been on his mind. Knut could also give a different perspective than Brian, because as far as Jim knew, Brian had never had a serious girlfriend.

"Jim… if I can tell you anything, anything at all it would be this. First, what happened in Saratoga will happen again. There’s no doubt about it. The career Trixie has chosen, the crooks she comes into contact with – it is a certainty. Second, use your imagination to discover life without her. I know you’re only 16 and she’s only 14. But my own parents were of that age when they met and although things didn’t get more serious until later, they pretty much knew what they wanted from day one.

"Imagine. Imagine her holding hands with someone else."

Jim frowned. Knut took advantage of the expression on his face.

"Imagine her getting her first kiss from someone else."

Jim flinched.

"Don’t ever play poker, Jim. You’d loose miserably. I’ll let your imagination take it from there."

"Oh believe me, it will run wild." He paused. "Knut, I’ve heard every word you’ve said and I intend to really give this some thought. I just need some time and space to really think. I guess that’s why I’ve kind of kept my distance from Trixie on this trip. But with ten more months until graduation, and twelve until I leave for college, I really need to give it more serious thought. And I think that may require some distance from her – as impossible as that may be."

"You do that, Jim," Knut said with a brotherly pat on his back. "Just don’t think too long, or too hard. Sometimes life actually is a lot easier than we make it."

The End