*mild language

--The Police

Jim was back in his recliner, thoughtfully starting at two pieces of paper. In his left hand was the name and phone number of the very attractive brunette he'd met at the party he attended last Friday evening. In the right hand was a letter from Trixie. A letter he had read three times. A letter that was signed "your friend". Friend. Only a friend...

Well. The answer to the question in the back of his mind was, he supposed, answered. He stood up and restlessly began to pace in front of the window, the lights of the city softly twinkling in the distance. He read the letter again and it was like every single light went out. It wasn't so much what she said, it was what she didn't say. The tone was lightly apologetic and breezy and...and casual.

 

What do you expect? You let the whole summer go by without doing anything. Why didn't you ask her out? He leaned his hot forehead against the cool pane, deep in thought. One summer night, Honey walked in the house looking so dreamy after a date with Brian that their mother teasingly asked her if she'd picked out her china pattern yet. Then Dad joked about locking her in the attic and they all laughed while Honey blushed a little.

Lost opportunities. Was there any feeling worse? Jim gently set the letter down on a small table, between the telephone and a framed picture of the family taken after his graduation from high school. He dialed and waited for a moment.

"Hello?"

"Hi, it's Jim. From the party...?"

"Oh hi! How's it going?"

"Good. I was wondering, uh, if you wanted to maybe go out to dinner."

"Sure. Sounds great..."

*     *     *

--Split Enz

Trixie was staring at the collected works of William Shakespeare and wondering at the mental health of an English teacher who would assign a paper comparing two of his works over the weekend, trying not to think of Jim.

"Great, huh?" Nick Roberts asked, taking the seat next to her in the school library.

Trixie looked up, startled. "What?"

"The paper. A weekend full of 'to be or not to be'." Even though Trixie was a year younger than Nick, they shared a combined English class.

Trixie attempted a smile. "Oh well. It's not like I had big time weekend plans anyway. And at least we can use stuff we've already read."

Nick silently studied her for a moment. "Trixie, can I say something? As a friend I mean."

Trixie closed the book and smiled for real. "Of course!" she exclaimed. She reflected for a moment on the serious, dark haired person at her side. When she first met him, he seemed so ill tempered she didn't think she liked him very much. But soon afterwards, she realized that worry over his family's financial situation was largely responsible for his behavior and they became good friends.

Nick began tapping his paint-stained fingernails on the old wooden table until he noticed the librarian's icy stare. "Trix, this is none of my business really, but are you planning on spending your entire sophomore year looking like it's the end of the world?"

Trixie's smile abruptly faded. "You're right. It isn't any of your business. And you're a fine one to talk anyway." She glared at him. "Are you going to spend your entire junior year doing the same thing?"

Nick shook his head. "Look, that's why I know what I'm talking about. I don't know about you, but I'm tired of missing Amy. She's gone and there isn't anything I can do about it. She didn't want to have a long distance relationship."

Trixie sighed, her momentary flare of anger melting at the sad expression on Nick's face. "I'm sorry."

"Me too," he replied simply. He touched her arm for a moment. "When all that crap was happening with my father, you never gave up trying to help. Not for a minute. Even when I acted like a total...I never told you this, but I wouldn't have gotten through that time without your positive attitude."

Trixie blushed and looked away, first looking at the 'Fiction A-E' row to her left, then back down at the book. "That wasn't so much."

"It was everything!" Nick exclaimed.

"Shhh!" the Librarian hissed, from her desk in the middle of the room. She wasn't nicknamed the Nazi Librarian for nothing.

Nick lowered his voice. "It was everything," he repeated quietly. "That's why I hate to see you like this."

Trixie exhaled slowly. "It's that obvious, huh?" Great. Did the entire school know she was pining over Jim? Did they all know he was dating other people too? When Brian came home last month and she casually asked him what Jim was up to, she could read him like a book. She didn't ask any more questions because what was there to say?

Nick put his arm around her. "Trix, if your face gets any longer it's gonna touch the floor."

"Heh heh," Trixie said weakly.

"But fear not. I have a plan," Nick said mysteriously.

"What?" Trixie asked, interested in spite of herself at the secretive tone in his voice.

Nick smiled inwardly at the lightening of her expression. "I know somebody who wants to ask you out."

Trixie felt her blush returning. "Oh? And who might that be?"

Nick paused for a moment, puzzled at the suddenly regretful feeling that was filling him. His mission when he joined her in the library was simple--get that God-awful depressed expression off her face. The same expression that looked back at him every morning from the bathroom mirror. Trixie was looking at him expectantly, a shy smile tugging at the corners of her rosy mouth, her eyes bluer than he'd ever seen them. The sun slanting through a nearby window was hitting her curls in such a way that they almost looked golden.

"Nicholas William Roberts the third," she hissed, mindful of the Nazi Librarian frowning her way.

"Sean Haslam," he blurted.

Trixie looked almost relieved; Nick was just joking as usual. "Sean Haslam. Yeah right." Sean Haslam was the current captain of the basketball team and could usually be found walking down the halls with a cheerleader.

"No, really. He thinks you're cute. He told me he'd ask you out if you weren't already taken."

Trixie didn't know which was the most confusing--Sean wanting to ask her—of all people—out, or the fact that she was viewed as a person who was taken. I am the complete opposite of 'taken', she thought ruefully. "He thinks I'm taken? By whom, pray tell?"

"What do you mean, 'by whom'? Jim, of course." Nick looked at her like an experiment that had suddenly gone wrong.

"Why would he think that?" Trixie asked, obviously puzzled.

Nick was stunned. "Trix, everybody thought that. Why do you think nobody has ever asked you out?" They figured you were spoken for, and nobody wanted to mess with Jim, believe me!" When Trixie remained silent he repeated the question.

Trixie shrugged. "I just figured that nobody found me...attractive," she said, the slight catch in her voice letting him know that she was serious.

"Oh my God, I can't believe you thought that for a minute. Trixie, you're a very pretty girl. And you have a lot to offer a guy. Don't sell yourself short."

Nick's voice was stern and the expression in his dark eyes so serious that Trixie felt herself blushing all over again. "Trix, if I didn't know better, I'd swear that you were making this up just to fish for compliments." Nick thought of the way her face lit up with excitement, how her good heart literally shone out of her, surrounding her with an almost palatable glow and felt again a strange knocking sensation somewhere in the vicinity of his chest. "What should I tell Sean?" he asked, almost sullenly.

"I don't know," she replied softly. She didn't really know Sean all that well. He was tall, blonde, good looking and unavailable. She'd never given him much thought except to admire the way he could always score twenty plus points in a game. "And anyway, I thought you had a plan. Telling me that Sean wants to ask me out doesn't sound like a plan to me."

Nick started; he'd almost forgotten what he came to do in the first place. "The plan. Right. Here's the deal. I give Sean the go-ahead and I..." he gave her a wry smile. "I ask Christy Farrow out. And we both stop being sad sacks. What do you say?"

"Christy? The rah-rah?!" Trixie was completely incredulous.

"SHHHHHHH!" the look the Nazi librarian gave them could have frozen the Wheeler's lake in summertime.

"What, you don't think I'm cheerleader material?" Nick asked in a teasing whisper.

Trixie kicked him under the table. "Jackass. No, I just didn't figure you'd..." Trixie stopped, holding up her hand. Would she ever learn to think before she spoke? "Okay, I don't even really know this girl. For all I know, she's a rocket scientist in her spare time and is figuring out a way to really make warp speed possible. I'm sorry for being all judgmental. You must have a good reason for asking her out."

"Yeah. She told Mart to tell me that she thinks I'm cute."

Trixie, mindful of the glare coming from the center of the room, bit back the giggles rising from her throat. "Guess that's a good enough reason as any!"

"Trix, I don't want to get married, I just want to start having fun again. And so should you. So is it a deal or what?" Nick said earnestly.

 

Dear Schoolgirl Shamus:
Is this your first orchid?
I hope so. See you tonight.
                                 Jim

"Trix?" Nick's voice broke into her thoughts. "C'mon, I'll take the plunge if you will..."

Trixie stood up as the bell signaling the end of the period sounded. "It's a deal," she said firmly, scooping up the Shakespeare and adding it to her already heavy burden of books. Nick was right. It was time to rejoin the land of the living. If Jim could move on, so could she. One of the most popular boys in school thinks I'm cute. Me. Tomboy Trixie! Trixie couldn't help feeling a bit gleeful as she and Nick left the library, joining the swarm of students making their way down the main hall. For the first time that year, she didn't automatically look for a head of red hair as she almost skipped ahead to her next class.

Thank you Kate, for looking this, as well as Chapter 2, over for me!

When Jim finally came home for his first visit, it felt so good to be back he could hardly believe it. Even though his parents were away on one of their ubiquitous business trips, the homecoming he received from Honey, Miss Trask, Regan and Patch made him feel warm all over. He truly had a home to return to.

"Why didn’t you tell us you were coming?" Honey demanded as they sat in the kitchen while Jim wolfed down a sandwich containing a little bit of everything he could dig out of the refrigerator, Patch lying patiently across his feet. "Ugh, you’re gonna need a Pepto Bismol chaser with that," she commented, daintily eating from a carton of peach yogurt.

"I just decided to come at the last minute. My, uh, plans were cancelled unexpectedly." Jim took a huge swallow of milk. Karen, the attractive brunette from the party, was a nice girl, but he could never think of much to say to her. And rather than suffer through another uncomfortable date, he told her he needed to go home this weekend. She didn’t seem very disappointed, so perhaps she was secretly relieved as well.

Honey glanced at the clock on the wall. "Trixie should be here any minute—we’re going riding. Wanna come?"

Jim was disconcerted to realize that the thought of going riding with Trixie and his sister filled him with more anticipation than going out with Karen ever did. What was wrong with him? "Yeah, that would be great. I’ve missed riding Jupe."

"More than you’ve missed any of us?" Honey asked teasingly. "You haven’t hardly written anybody at all since you’ve started college."

"I know. I’ve been meaning to, but you wouldn’t believe the homework I’ve been getting. Sorry, sis."

Honey shrugged. "It’s okay. I’m just glad you and Trixie were able to put that party business behind you. She told me that you forgave her in an email."

Jim finished up his sandwich. "Forgave is a strong word. I was never mad at her in the first place." Heartbroken and sad is more like it, he thought silently.

It was on the tip of her tongue to tell him what she suspected was the real reason she missed the party, but Honey instinctively knew that Trixie would be furious with her for sticking her nose in. She knew it was something her best friend had to work out for herself, but it was maddening to see her normally cheerful friend so depressed. When Brian told her that Jim was dating a gorgeous freshman her heart fell into her stomach—although Trixie had never come out and told her she had feelings for her brother, Honey reflected that you’d have to be blind not to see them. She sighed. Jim was mighty blind. She absentmindedly reached for her glass of milk and jumped when the entire glass tipped over, spilling cold milk all over her jeans.

"Ack!" she exclaimed, grabbing a handful of napkins and frantically mopping at her lap while Jim laughed. "It’s not funny—this milk is freezing!" she complained. She looked at the clock again and groaned. "Tell Trixie I’ll be there as soon as I change. She’s probably already saddling Susie."

Jim stood up, still smiling at the unusual sight of his sister, normally so polished and together, looking like she’d peed her pants. "Hurry up," he said over his shoulder as he exited the kitchen, Patch scampering at his heels.

He walked the short distance to the stables and heard Trixie’s voice as he entered, breathing in the comfortingly familiar smell of horses, leather and hay.

"I know you’re lonely Jupiter, but remember what happened the last time I tried to ride you? So don’t blame me if I have to leave you behind. It’s your own fault for being so mean to me!"

Jim turned the corner just in time to see Trixie hug the black gelding around the neck as the horse leaned his head down, nibbling on her sleeve while Susie, already saddled, looked patiently on. Hearing footsteps, Trixie turned. "Oh Honey, there you...." the rest of the sentence went unspoken as a look of astonishment filled her. She was so glad to see him that before she was fully conscious of what she was doing, she closed the distance between them and threw her arms around him. "Jim! I can’t believe you’re here!" Before he had a chance to hug her back, she drew away, her face scarlet with embarrassment over her impulsive behavior. "How are you?" she muttered quickly.

Jim recovered his poise, his heart secretly so glad he couldn’t believe it. "I’m glad to be home. I missed...everything." They both laughed as Jupiter’s excited whinny filled the stable. "I missed you too!" he said, walking over and patting his horse’s neck. He was glad for the distraction, his stomach still fluttering after Trixie’s unexpected greeting.

"Jupe’s been really difficult since you’ve been away. He actually bit Regan the other day," Trixie said, leaning against the stall. "Regan was unthrilled to say the least."

"Really?" Jim asked, both amused and horrified. "I’m surprised you dared go near him in that case." He looked at Trixie. "You wouldn’t try and ride him or anything like that would you?" He tried for nonchalance, but Trixie could plainly see that he was worried by the idea. For some reason, she found his concern comforting rather than annoying for once.

Trixie snorted reassuringly. "Are you kidding? Once was enough. That horse does not take me seriously, do you Jupe?" Jupiter looked at her and Trixie was positive he winked one eye.

Jim was relieved. If Jupe would dare bite Regan, there was no telling what he might do to Trixie. His heart constricted as he suddenly pictured Trixie thrown to the ground as Jupiter merrily tossed her.

"Where’s Honey?" Trixie asked, wondering at the strange look on Jim’s face. She grinned when Jim verbally painted the picture of Honey covered from waist to knees with milk. "Sounds like something I’d do," she laughed. "Oh well—I might as well saddle Lady for her."

Honey walked in just as Trixie and Jim were finishing saddling Lady and Jupiter, smiling her thanks. As the three of them swung up on their mounts and headed for the preserve, she quietly enjoyed the wonderful familiarity of it and hoped that no matter what happened, they’d always be as close as they were when they first met two summers ago and formed their club, the Bob Whites of the Glen.

Although the club consisted not only of the three of them, but Brian, Mart, Diana and Dan; Honey couldn’t help but feel that there was something very special about herself, Trixie and Jim. Honey and Trixie had become best friends almost instantly upon meeting, and when they found Jim fast asleep in his Great Uncle’s decaying mansion soon afterwards, the three had formed a special bond that Honey fervently hoped would never be broken. She sighed again at the thought of Jim dating other people when it was so obvious to her that he and Trixie belonged together. Just like her and Brian. And now Trixie...ah well. She deliberately let herself drop behind as the trail narrowed, only allowing two side by side riders.

"Jim? I know you got my letter, but I want to tell you in person how sorry I am that I didn’t make your party. I don’t know what came over me," Trixie said hesitantly as she nudged Susie closer to Jupiter.

"It’s okay," Jim replied quietly.

Trixie shook her head. "No it isn’t. It was incredibly rude and hateful of me not to go."

Jim was surprised and secretly gladdened at her vehemence. "I wouldn’t go that far," he said slowly.

As awful as the thought of Jim dating other people was, there was something even more terrible. "No matter what happens...Jim, I couldn’t stand it if we weren’t friends anymore," Trixie said simply.

"That could never happen," he said firmly, pulling Jupe back as he tried to turn his cantor into a gallop. "Our friendship means the world to me. It’s one of the most important things in my life."

"Mine too," she replied, feeling a warmth suffuse her veins. True, she wanted more than friendship, but being friends, being good friends, well that was quite something. It was a gift she had no intention of taking lightly. And because so much time went by without a visit or a word from him, it came as an enormous relief to realize that he felt the same way.

The three rode for hours through the maze of trails that was home to them, tired but happy when they finally returned to the stables. They laughed and joked as they cleaned and stored the tack, grooming the horses and giving them food and water as the stable rules dictated.

"You better hustle, Trix. You need time to shower, shampoo and shine as the old saying goes," Honey said teasingly as Trixie wiped the sweat off her brow.

Trixie glanced at her watch and blanched. "Gleeps, you’re right Hon. I didn’t realize it was so late!" In typical Trixie fashion, she lost no time dashing out of the stables, calling out a hasty farewell as she went.

Jim was puzzled. "What was that all about?" he asked his sister, feeling a bit let down after the fun of the afternoon. He’d rather hoped Trixie would end up spending the night as she so often did after spending the day with her best friends.

Honey smiled mysteriously. "Trixie has a hot date," she said, surreptitiously gauging her brother’s reaction as she tossed the currycomb in its usual spot.

Jim’s heart fell into his shoes as the meaning of his sister’s words sunk in. Trixie had a date! With a boy! Who wasn’t him! Although he knew he had no right to feel this way, he couldn’t stop the flood of emotion that was filling him at the idea. "Oh?" he said, his tone carefully neutral. Years of living with his volatile stepfather had perfected his ability to sound unaffected. "Who with?"

"Sean Haslam," Honey replied, disappointed at his lack of reaction. Until she turned and caught the fleeting pain in his green eyes, an expression so bleak her stomach turned icy. "Jim..." she began.

"Sean Haslam? He is such a dog," Jim exclaimed, his neutral tone disappearing for a moment. He remembered certain locker room conversations and couldn’t stop the sick feeling that filled his chest and lungs.

Honey shrugged. "He isn’t who I’d pick for her, but he doesn’t seem that bad." The corners of her mouth lifted. "And besides, all men are dogs!"

"No they aren’t," Jim began hotly until he noticed her hazel eyes twinkling at him. He gave her a light shove. "But some are, and he’s one of them. He’s only interested in one thing, believe me."

"Well, aren’t you interested in that too?" Honey asked, widening her eyes innocently at her brother.

Jim flushed as he recalled the one thing he and Karen did have in common. He wasn’t exactly ashamed at how far they’d gone, but he was a little disappointed that he didn’t feel more for her. He always figured that one kind of intimacy led to another, and it was kind of a shock to find that it didn’t necessarily work that way. "None of your business," he finally muttered.

"Mmm hmmm," Honey said tartly. As they exited the stables, she added, "Trixie can take care of herself." Remembering how sad her best friend was for weeks after Jim left for school, she felt a sudden flare of anger, adding meanly, "And it isn’t only boys who are sometimes only after one thing, you know!" She walked into the front door and headed towards her room without a backwards glance.

Jim stood at the bottom of the stairs, too stunned to speak. Trixie wouldn’t...she couldn’t...he sat on the bottom step as a sudden realization hit him. He couldn’t bear the thought of some guy putting his hands on her. He may not have the right to feel this way, knew that it was downright wrong of him to feel this way, but there it was. He began to shake slightly at the thought of it, awed at the intensity of his feelings. Geez, anybody would think he was in love with her or something! "You’ve got to get a grip," he said aloud, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

He stood up and headed towards his own room. The logical part of him knew that Honey didn’t really mean it, that Trixie wasn’t that way at all. Jim felt his stomach fill with knots at the thought that she was so shy when it came to that sort of thing. He entered his room and softly shut the door, flopping down on his bed. He wasn’t going to be responsible for his actions if he heard that "Third Base" Haslam took advantage of her in any way, or forced her to do something she wasn’t ready for.

He sighed heavily. This kind of thinking was getting him nowhere. They were friends and what choice did he have but to move on like she’d managed to do? He put his hands behind his head and stared at the ceiling. There was this really nice girl in his English class who always had interesting comments to make. He made up his mind to get her number when he saw her again on Monday.

He smiled grimly as he had another thought. Good friends looked out for one another, there was nothing wrong with that. And if Sean Haslam tried anything funny with his good friend, he was going to score three points with his head. That was all there was to it.

 

Chapter 4

 

Had it been another day
I might have looked the other way
and I’d have never been aware
but as it is I’ll dream of her tonight
Li di di didum di
Falling, yes I am falling
and she keeps calling me back again

--The Beatles

 

 

So how’s things with Sis Boom Bah?

Outstanding. Last night we discussed in detail the fall of the Roman Empire.

???

Okay, so we went to the movies on Saturday. Chick flick.

And...???

They’re all right about you...you ARE nosy!

Just for that I’m not telling you how MY life is going!

Who asked?!

Nick was about to discreetly pass the note back when a looming shadow appeared over his desk.

"MR. Roberts, as I’m QUITE sure those are the very careful notes you’ve been taking on today’s lecture, I’m also sure I don’t need to remind you again of my policy on note passing. Do I?" Mrs. Shelton looked as if her future happiness depended on Nick’s answer.

"Uh, no. No you don’t," Nick hastily stammered while the whole class tittered. It was the Friday before Christmas vacation and they were unusually restless.

"OutSTANDING, Mr. Roberts." Mrs. Shelton walked back to the front of the class as Nick breathed a sigh of relief. "Now, I’ve decided that we’re moving on from Shakespeare..." she frowned as the class let out a restrained cheer. "SO that we can focus on our next project. MISS Belden." Mrs. Shelton had a way of emphasizing the beginnings of her sentences that was oftentimes disconcerting. Trixie jumped guiltily even though she wasn’t the one caught passing the note. "MISS Belden, will you read aloud what I have written on the board?"

"No iron can pierce the heart with such force as a period put just at the right place," Trixie read hesitantly.

Mrs. Shelton positively beamed. "YES! I want you to write this down into your notebooks. CONSIDER it often. It should prove MOST helpful when you write your OWN stories..." Her smile was slowly replaced with a look of puzzled confusion as the whole class groaned in unison.

"Kill me now," Trixie moaned later as she and Nick left the class, Mrs. Shelton still looking a little dazed. "This is almost as bad as math—how CAN you look so cheerful?" she asked, in ruthless imitation.

"Trix, what are you worried about? Just write up one of your adventures—they seem like fiction anyway. But don’t write about the counterfeiters. That one’s mine!"

Trixie brightened. "Hey, that’s a good idea!" She thought about it for a moment, her bright look fading as a sudden realization filled her. All the fun, exciting and even dangerous times in her life all had one thing in common. And she was tired of dwelling on him. "On the other hand, maybe I’ll just make something up," she said quietly.

"So anyway...how’s it going with Sean the wonder jock?" Nick asked, changing the subject.

Trixie shrugged. "All right I guess." They’d gone out several times and she supposed it wouldn’t be a lie if she said she had fun. Only trouble was, other than sports and himself, Sean didn’t have a whole lot to talk about. She stopped in front of her locker and began turning the combination dial.

"Just all right?" Nick asked. He didn’t realize he was holding his breath until he released it as she finally answered his question.

"Weeeell," Trixie began, looking around. She lowered her voice. "It’s fun going out with him. No matter where we go, he always knows a bunch of people. And we all laugh and joke around. It’s just..." she stopped, not sure how to explain how she was feeling. There was a part of her that enjoyed being a part of that group, the acknowledged "in crowd" of Sleepyside Junior-Senior High school. Everybody liked Sean; his natural charisma and easygoing personality charmed students and teachers alike. And he had a way of casually slinging his arm around Trixie’s waist in public that was undeniably thrilling. But when they were alone... "It’s just, I don’t know. I can’t think of anything to really say to him," she admitted.

"So don’t keep going out with him if you don’t like him," Nick suggested happily.

"I like him. It isn’t that," she replied, rooting around for her Geometry book. "So, you had fun the other night?"

"Yeah, I guess. Christy’s pretty easy to be around." If you can stand the constant hair flip and giggle combinations, Nick thought sourly.

"You mean she’s easy," Trixie muttered, slamming her locker shut harder than necessary, surprising herself.

Nick was surprised too. "I didn’t say that," he said.

"You didn’t have to." Trixie couldn’t seem to stop the flow of words. "I hope you’re enjoying yourself!"

"Hey! I saw you lip locked the other night. Did you enjoy YOURself?"

Not really, Trixie thought miserably. Sean was always clamping his mouth down on hers and the only feeling she ever had was relief that she didn’t cut her lip on her teeth by the time he was through. Trixie supposed this meant she wasn’t a very good kisser. The problem couldn’t be with Sean. Could it?

"Well?" Nick demanded.

"Sure," Trixie lied.

"So you do like him then. Hmm, I thought you were interested in more than a pretty face," Nick said bitterly.

"This was YOUR idea!" Trixie snapped, glaring at him. "Remember?"

"Yeah, I remember. I’m not brain damaged." Nick’s face was as black as thunder.

"Could have fooled me!" Trixie whirled around and disappeared down the hall, her breath coming fast. She didn’t slow her pace until Dan suddenly appeared in front of her, holding up his hands.

"Whoa Nelly! Where’s the fire?" he asked, wondering at the furious expression on her face.

"Impossible. Men are IMPOSSIBLE," Trixie muttered between clenched teeth.

Dan lifted his eyebrows. "Uh oh, I’m not even going to ask." Inside he was wondering if perhaps kicking Sean Haslam’s ass was in order. He’d heard those locker room conversations too. Then he dismissed the thought. Word on the street was he was "biding his time". Dan smiled quietly to himself. He knew that really meant moves tried, moves denied.

Trixie smiled in spite of herself. "Except for you. You’re a prince among men, Daniel William Mangan!" she said grandly. She suddenly realized how ridiculous the exchange between herself and Nick had been. What the hell happened? she wondered.

"Well you know," Dan said loftily. "It’s all part of the Mangan mystique!" He grinned at her and Trixie was again struck at how much Dan had changed. She thought about the sullen, rebellious and even mean boy who first came to Sleepyside and could hardly believe it.

She shaded her eyes. "Arghh! I’m blinded by it! Must...escape..." she staggered back down the hall, giving a wave as she headed to her next class.

Dan resumed walking, deep in thought. Trixie had changed a lot since he first met her. Oh sure, she was still adventurous and outspoken; she still had the limitless enthusiasm and curiosity that sometimes got them all into trouble. But there was no denying that she was growing up.

He walked into his next class and slid into his seat, chewing on one of his knuckles. Life on the streets had taught him about human observation, only too well. And it was plain to him that despite dating Sean, she still had deep feelings for their friend Jim. And that asking her out himself could quite possibly lead to all kinds of complications because of it.

Dan sighed. The friendship he felt for Trixie was strong. It wouldn’t take much, he knew, for those feelings to get out of control. And if she found herself unable to return them, he’d be in a lot of trouble. Bad trouble. "And I’ve had enough trouble for one lifetime," Dan muttered to himself, jerking open his notebook. He grinned at a hastily scrawled phone number. Trying to turn friends into girlfriends was a dangerous business. It was better to stick with the uncomplicated anyway. He ignored the infinitesimal sinking sensation in his stomach as he turned his attention to learning the Spanish language.

*     *     *

The last bell sounded and Nick found he was still upset by his argument with Trixie. And puzzled. One minute they were joking around and the next minute they were yelling at each other. And over what? Nick wasn’t entirely sure. All he knew was that Trixie dating Sean was bothering him. And knowing that HE was the one responsible for her dating him was becoming unbearable. He stiffened as he saw Trixie get into Sean’s car, glowering at them from across the crowded parking lot even though he knew they didn’t see him. He was pretty sure he knew where they were going. It was Friday, which meant hanging out at Wimpy’s, drinking sodas and playing the jukebox that Mike had finally filled with current music. "Crap!" he said aloud as he suddenly remembered that he was supposed to meet Christy by her locker. He ran back into the school, panting as he ran down the hall where the attractive blonde was waiting with her arms folded."Where have you been? I’ve been waiting for over ten minutes!" she protested mildly.I was so busy thinking about another girl that I plumb forgot! "Uh....I....sorry," he mumbled. Nick was a terrible liar.Christy tossed her head and laughed, not noticing the little wince that came and went on Nick’s face. "Oh you forgetful artist types," she said, taking his arm. She was scoring a lot of points with her friends for nailing the mysterious Nick. He had this serious-yet-dreamy thing going on and everybody knew he was going to be a famous artist someday. Maybe he’d paint her! She leaned into him and kissed him.Nick found himself responding in spite of himself, which confused him even more. It sometimes seemed like his body operated completely independently of his mind and he wondered if girls ever felt that way. He looked at Christy and decided against asking her. Didn’t somebody once say a little knowledge was a dangerous thing? He allowed her to lead him out to the parking lot without another word.

*     *     *

Don’t it always seem to go that you don’t know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone?

--Joni Mitchell

Jim wondered how he could have possible forgotten the old Friday night tradition as hordes of enthusiastic students began to fill the small diner. He had an undeniable craving for a Wimpy burger and his parents weren’t expected until tomorrow anyway. He smiled and waved when he spotted Dan and Mart entering the converted train car.

"Sorry, but you’re going to have to leave. High school students only," Dan joked as he and Mart sat down at the table behind the jukebox.

"Man, I forgot how crowded this place gets on a Friday night," Jim commented. "Oh go ahead and have some," he said to Mart, who was hungrily eyeing his French fries. He knew the minute Trixie walked in and suddenly became very focused on his cheeseburger.

"Mike finally seems resigned to the idea. He even put modern music in the jukebox," Mart said, finishing up the fries. His freckled face broke out in a grin. "However, his beloved Elvis remains, so in between all the grunge you can still occasionally hear the melodic strains of "Treat Me Like a Fool".

"Hmmm...that’s good," Jim said absently. The girl from his English class hadn’t exactly worked out either and he was starting to wonder if there was something wrong with him.

"Well, there’s Di," Mart said, the curiosity in his face as he looked at his friend making him look uncannily like Trixie for a moment. "We still on for tomorrow?" As long as the weather held, the BWGs had a long ride scheduled for tomorrow since they were all together again for the holiday.

"Yeah," Dan answered when Jim didn’t reply. Diana waved to them as Mart reached her side, spotting Jim’s read hair over the top of the jukebox.

"What’s wrong with you?" Dan asked bluntly.

"What? Nothing. I’m just tired—it was a long semester," Jim replied evasively. Trixie looked happy enough, standing with a large group of Sean’s friends at the far end of the dining area. He flinched slightly when Sean put his arm around her, pulling her into his side.

"Geez guy, could you BE more jealous? You're a real idiot, you know that? You had that girl and you just pissed her away!"

"What are you talking about now?" Jim asked with an air of amused disbelief, tearing his eyes back to face front.

Dan rolled his eyes. "I’m talking about how your Trixie radar was activated as soon as she walked in here, and how you’ve been watching her every movement ever since."

"I have not," Jim protested weakly.

"She’s not into that guy, you know. He’s a distraction. He’s somebody to have a good time with. If you asked her out, she’d drop him like a bad habit."

"Trixie and I are friends. Good friends. If something like that was going to happen, wouldn’t it have happened by now?" Like it could just be that easy!

"One would think," Dan muttered.

Trixie, from her place across the room, wondered what Dan and Jim were talking about so intently. She thought about tearing Sean away from his basketball buddies long enough to find out, but dismissed the idea, making up her mind to pump Dan later for information. She looked to where Nick and Christy were sitting at the counter and felt her stomach tighten. She felt guilty—the argument was really mostly her fault. She’d started it by calling Christy easy. She felt a hated blush creep up her face. How could she say such a thing?

"Trixie, we’re taking off. Coming with?" Sean’s voice broke into her thoughts.

"Oh, um...God, you know, I’m really tired..." Trixie never could see the point of cruising up and down Main Street, seeing the same people she saw all day at school. And besides, she’d done her time for the day. She felt a sudden coldness as this involuntary thought popped into her mind. What are you doing? You’re acting like spending time with Sean is your job and now you need some time off! It was unpleasant to realize that she’d been playing a part, just like the plays Diana acted in. And her part was the breezy fifteen year old girl who was getting-on-with-her-life-by-dating-the-popular-boy. She looked at Sean’s guileless face and felt ashamed. She knew perfectly well he wasn’t in love with her, but that didn’t make it right.

"That’s what you get for being such a grind," Sean said mildly, putting his hand on the back of her neck. "You guys wouldn’t believe how much she studies." Sean figured as long as he kept a "C" average, a basketball scholarship would provide the rest.

He looked at Trixie for a moment. She wasn’t exactly his girlfriend, but she was driving him a little crazy anyway. At first he thought she was a tease, but after awhile it dawned on him that this wasn’t the case. He normally didn’t have much of an imagination, but he found himself wondering about her. A lot. Wondering what color underwear she was wearing, wondering what she would look like when she finally loosened up a little. He couldn’t deny that it was largely anticipation that was keeping him around. Most other girls weren’t much of a challenge. "I’ll call you," he promised hotly before kissing her.

"Okay," Trixie replied weakly when she could finally breathe again. She could always tell him then. "Bye." She glanced at the counter again and was gladdened to see Nick by himself. Now was her chance to make things right. She walked across the room, her pulse lightly speeding up.

"What do you mean ‘one would think’?" Jim asked, keeping his eyes on Dan with great effort.

Dan sighed noisily. "You guys drive me nuts. Both of you mooning over the other, and neither one of you doing anything about it!"

"I don’t moon," Jim muttered, but his heart leapt. Trixie mooning over him? "And Trixie is hardly the mooning type." He set his jaw stubbornly.

"Ordinarily, I’d agree. But...oh forget it. Believe what you want," Dan exclaimed, throwing up his hands. So much for being Cupid. And besides, Trixie deserved somebody who didn’t hide themselves from her anyway. Maybe Jim wasn’t the one for her after all. "How’s Karen? No wait, that was last month. How’s Lauren?" he asked nastily. Somebody else could tell Jim about how Trixie wandered around in a fog of sadness for weeks after he left for school.

"That didn’t exactly work out," Jim muttered and Dan felt his momentary flare of anger melt, instinctively knowing that the brief flash of pain he saw had nothing to do with the two women.

"Ah, don’t worry about it. You’re supposed to have fun in college. AND high school," Dan said meaningfully, casual relationships are all I ever seem to have too his unspoken message. "Food at last," he exclaimed as Mike set down his cheeseburger.

"Sorry, Dan. One of my people called in sick. I’m telling ya, being the manager pays more money but it can really be a pain in the ass sometimes." He eyed Jim’s empty plate. "More fries? I notice Mart cleaned you out." At Jim’s nod, he added, "Coming up. A bunch of people just left which should help."

Jim turned his head in time to see most of the Sleepyside basketball team saunter out the door, calling farewells as they went. His heart leapt as he realized that Trixie wasn’t going with them, was in fact, heading his way. But at the last minute she turned and sat down at the counter next to Nick Roberts. He could hear the apologetic tone in her voice as she greeted him and wondered what was going on.

"Hey," Trixie said softly as she sat next to Nick. They stared at each other for a moment then both started laughing.

"What the HELL was that about earlier?" Nick demanded with a grin.

Trixie couldn’t stop laughing. "I don’t know!" she said. She lowered her voice. "I can’t believe I called Christy ‘easy’. That wasn’t very nice."

"But it was true," Nick muttered before he could stop himself.

Trixie’s grin faded. "Oh great. What’s with you guys anyway?" She felt almost sick at Nick’s confession, and it hit her suddenly that if there was anybody who could really and truly help her let go of her adolescent fantasies of Jim, it was Nick.

"You guys? You’re hanging around Sean and you don’t even like him all that much!"

Jim could hardly believe what he was hearing. "Can you believe this?" he said softly to Dan.

"Yeah. Nick’s crazy about her," Dan said bluntly, fascinated in spite of himself. It was almost like being at the movies watching the two of them argue.

"He is?" Jim asked, aghast. He studied the intense looking boy with eyes almost as dark as Dan’s and his heart constricted at the expression on his face. He didn’t immediately understand that the reason it looked so familiar was it had stared at him from his own mirror ever since Trixie didn’t show up to his goodbye party. "How do you know? What are you, the relationship expert of Sleepyside Junior-Senior High?"

Dan shrugged, glad they were partially hidden by the jukebox. "I know what I know," he said firmly.

"I don’t want to keep having this argument. May I remind you again that this was your damn idea in the first place?" Trixie hissed, mindful that several curious onlookers were looking their way, not even trying to hide their interest.

"Well, maybe it wasn’t such a great idea," Nick gritted out.

Trixie froze. "What do you mean?"

Nick spoke quickly and quietly. "What I mean is you dump Mr. Jock, I lose rah rah rah and you start going out with me."

Jim could hardly believe his ears. Nick was crazy if he thought Trixie was just going to let him lay it down like that.

"Okay," Trixie grinned.

"Okay?" Nick asked, slightly stunned.

Okay?! Jim thought, slightly stunned.

"Okay," Trixie repeated. She tapped his forehead. "What, are you brain damaged AND hard of hearing too?" The look of mischief that filled her blue eyes was melting the circuitry in his brain.

"Yeah, that’s right. Okay. Okay," Nick said in a daze. Trixie began to giggle at the look on his face.

"C’mon. Let’s get out of here and go say hello to Hoppy," she said, tugging his hand.

"What, and leave Christy abandoned in the bathroom?"

"Gleeps I forgot all about her," Trixie admitted.

"Me too," Nick said quietly, looking at her intensely. Trixie felt her giggles fade and her body fill with confusion. She glanced over to where Jim and Dan were pretending not to listen behind the jukebox, but Jim was looking intently down at his plate of fries. Damn it, why did she suddenly feel like she was cheating on him?

"Trixie, I know you still like Jim." Love Jim. Nick pitched his voice so that only she could hear it.

"I...well, I mean, of course I like him. We’ve been friends for a long time," Trixie whispered back. She was so conflicted. She knew Nick was right, but she also knew that what she was feeling for Nick right at this moment wasn’t exactly mere friendship either. She didn’t know what to do.

"You know what? It’s okay. We don’t have to put a name on it. Can’t we just go out and enjoy each other’s company?" Maybe she’d forget him in time. All Nick knew for sure is that if he didn’t try, he’d never forgive himself. And Trixie was jealous of Christy. She was! "Please Trix, I can’t take any more hair flip-giggle combinations. Can’t you help a guy out?"

Trixie felt relief fill her as she let out a startled laugh, marveling at Nick’s generosity. "I don’t deserve you," she said, surprising herself by standing up and brushing a soft kiss on Nick’s cheek.

"Let’s go," he said, quickly dropping some money on the counter in front of he and Christy’s plates.

"What about Christy?" Trixie reminded him.

"I was just kidding about the bathroom. She left with the jocks about ten minutes ago." He jumped off of the stool and wound the fingers of his right hand through her left, realizing as he did so that he’d wanted to do that for a long time.

Jim and Dan watched them leave, Jim’s jaw neatly resting on the table. "I don’t believe it!" he finally stuttered. It could be that easy after all, couldn’t it? He thought he might actually throw up, the burger and fries like a stone in his belly.

"Yeah, imagine that. A girl liking when a guy openly tells her how he feels about her and actually does something about it. What’ll they think of next?" Dan felt sorry for his friend, but it couldn’t be denied that Jim had really dropped the ball where Trixie was concerned.

Jim sat still as Dan’s words filled him. He was right. He let pride get in the way, so worried about the possibility of rejection that he let his chances slide on by. He felt sick as he realized that this was only a small part of the truth. When his mother died four years ago, he withdrew from the world into a hidden place where there was no pain, no suffering. Trouble was, there wasn’t any love there either. He began to emerge when he first met Trixie and Honey one summer morning, their friendship feeling like magic after the exile he’d existed in. He emerged further still when the Wheelers adopted him and he made so many wonderful friends. But a tiny place of him was still there, held in reserve. Self-protection. Taking his friendship with Trixie to the next level would wedge the door open the rest of the way and he’d be exposed. You damned coward he thought ruthlessly.

"Jim? You okay?" Dan asked, suddenly worried at the complete stillness of his friend. What was previously suspected became absolute truth, and Dan regretted his cavalier tone. "I’m sorry," he said awkwardly.

"Yeah," Jim replied sadly. "Me too."

To be continued...

And I’m sorry, but I just don’t feel sorry for Jim one little bit at this point in the story! :-)

Quoted without permission. Come-n-get-me, neener neener neener! :-)

Additional author’s notes:

Oh, and one last thing. If any of you haven’t read "The Mystery of the Tainted Timeline" by April, take a minute, go to the "Classics" section and read it. It is absolutely hilarious, and I guarantee you won’t regret it. Ciao for now!

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