--Main Ingredient

--10,000 Maniacs

 

The summer drifted by, like the fat thunderclouds that sometimes hovered overhead, bringing first hot and muggy days, then the blessed relief of the occasional rain shower. Trixie made an effort and it worked; she didn’t think about Jim. At least, not much. She was very busy, not only with helping her mother in the garden on the cooler days and performing her other household chores, but with keeping the horses exercised and making sure her youngest brother Bobby didn’t drown in the Wheeler Lake, among other summertime pursuits.

To her surprise and relief, she unexpectedly grew another inch, bringing her height to five foot three. "Not as tall as you and Diana, but now I’m only one inch below the national average!" she crowed to Honey one day as they sat side by side on the dock, the water swiftly drying from their hair and shoulders in the sun, their feet staying cool in the water. She’d had a busy morning, and the afternoon swim with her two closest female friends was a welcome treat.

Honey smiled at her best friend. "As if you could ever be considered average!" she said fondly, bumping her shoulder with her own. The added inch in height had melted the last of the roundness from Trixie’s features, enhancing her naturally high cheekbones and making her blue eyes seem even bluer. Honey had always thought her friend a very pretty girl, but now--she’s beautiful, not just inside, but out, Honey thought to herself. She knew better than to point this out to her stubborn friend.

Diana joined them then, twisting the water out of her hair and flopping back against the boards with a contented sigh. Following her friend’s example, she dangled her long legs into the water. "Ah, this is the life," she sighed, leaning back on her hands and squinting at the sky.

Trixie laid on her back, shading her eyes against the glare of the sun. "And we better enjoy it while we can. Can you believe school starts again in only a few weeks?" The three young women groaned in unison.

"Argh, don’t remind me," Honey said. Then she brightened. "But at least Jim will be home in a few days. The house is so quiet without him, I just can’t believe it."

In spite of herself, Trixie’s heart sped up at the thought. "I know what you mean. I feel the same way about Brian when he’s away at school. And the funny thing is, it’s not like he’s a noisy person." She sat back up and stared into the water. "I suppose I ought to get used to it. It’s not like he’s ever going to really live there again."

Her voice sounded a little lost and Honey looked at her in surprise. "Trix, it’s not like you’re never going to see him again." She smiled tenderly. "And he visits a lot."

Trixie waggled her eyebrows. "And I think we all know why!" she said knowingly, enjoying the hint of color that spread into Honey’s cheeks. It was nice to see somebody else blush for a change. The three friends laughed and the subject of Brian was dropped.

"Everything changes," Diana said, kicking her feet in the water. A bird swooped near the water and then wheeled towards the sky, its wings beating through the humid air as it changed course. "Mart and Dan will be seniors this year and then poof! They’ll be away at school too."

"And Nick leaves for San Francisco in a few weeks. Man, everybody’s going somewhere except the three of us," Trixie complained good-naturedly. She thought about Mart and Dan and ignored the sinking feeling she suddenly felt. Just because they too would be gone didn’t mean they couldn’t all stay friends anymore. Jim and Brian had been gone a year and they were still keeping in touch.

"How do you feel about that?" Diana asked bluntly.

"I’m not sure," Trixie admitted. "I mean, I’ll miss him, but..." She didn’t want to say that it wouldn’t be the same as when Jim first went away because it seemed almost mean, but looking into Diana’s steady gaze, she had the sudden feeling that her dark haired friend knew exactly what she was thinking. Di was the most empathetic off all the BWGs, and they had all gotten used to the fact that keeping feelings hidden from her was a complete waste of time. She sometimes even got a headache if one of her friends had one!

"I’m sure you’ll miss his friendship very much," Diana said, drawing her feet out of the water and flashing Trixie an understanding smile.

"Yes," Trixie agreed gratefully, returning the smile. "He’s been great."

"Mmmm, just how great?" Honey said meaningfully, a mischievous expression filling her lightly tanned face.

Trixie laughed. "Pretty great!"

Diana smirked and leaned towards Trixie. "Yeah, you do look pretty happy most of the time!"

Trixie smiled but said nothing more, thinking that Di was right as usual. She’d enjoyed the summer very much, a lot more than she thought she would. Although Nick was tremendously busy with his museum job and finishing up his credits for an early graduation, they’d managed to have some good times. There was no pressure, and Trixie discovered that once she stopped wondering about the future and worrying about leading Nick on, she was able to enjoy his company even more. They were friends, they were perhaps more than friends, but they knew it had to end. And Trixie was discovering something else as well; that she could have the relationship she wanted simply by being true to herself. And her reward for being completely truthful with Nick was an heady and unexpected freedom. For the first time she truly understood the saying, ‘The truth shall set you free.’

Honey pulled her legs out of the water and stood up. "I’m for having another quick dip and then heading to the house for some food."

Trixie was about to agree when she heard her name being called. She hastily scrambled to her feet, shading her eyes, surprised to see Nick hurrying towards them. He seemed agitated.

"Nick, what is it? Why aren’t you at school?" Trixie exclaimed as he drew near.

Nick came to a stop right in front of them, sweating in the heat and out of breath. "Can you come with me for a bit?" he asked Trixie abruptly.

Trixie glanced at her friends. "Um...sure. I guess."

"Sorry," Nick muttered to Honey and Diana.

"It’s okay. But is there anything we can do? You seem upset," Diana said as Honey nodded in agreement.

"No. I wish you could, but..." he broke off, his dark eyes troubled.

"Just let me throw on my shorts," Trixie said, dashing into the changing room. She yanked her shorts on over her now dry bathing suit and hastily buttoned them. She came back out, taking Nick’s hand and letting him lead her to his car, calling a hasty farewell to her friends.

Honey and Diana watched them go. "Now what do you suppose that was all about?" Honey said, mystified.

Diana shook her head. "I don’t know. But he sure seemed upset about something." She shrugged her slim shoulders. "Come one--let’s swim some more. There isn’t anything we can do anyway."

"I suppose you’re right," Honey replied uncertainly. The two friends walked back to the end of the dock and dove into the cool waters of the lake.

Trixie didn’t ask any questions until Nick had driven down the driveway and back onto Glen Road. "What’s wrong?" she asked, her voice full of concern. She laid a hand on his arm and squeezed.

"Everything’s a mess," Nick began, Trixie surprised at the shaky tone of his voice.

"Is your dad sick again?" she said softly, rubbing his arm. She was relieved when he said no, but the relief was short lived as he continued.

"No, it’s nothing like that. He just found out that I haven’t been going to the museum full time. That...that I’m getting credits to graduate."

Trixie was shocked. "I don’t understand. He had to have known. Didn’t he have to sign the forms and..." she broke off as understanding filled her. "Oh Nick, you forged his signature, didn’t you? He still doesn’t know about San Francisco."

"He does now. And he’s forbidden me to go," Nick said tightly, his eyes bleak.

"Oh Nick. Why didn’t you tell him before?"

"Because he wouldn’t have let me go."

"But I thought he was proud of the work you do," Trixie said gently, wanting to understand.

Nick turned onto his street. "He is, but he doesn’t take it seriously. He thinks it’s great that I have this gift, but he also thinks I need to be practical. That I need to figure out what I really want to do with my life." Nick pulled into his driveway and shut off the ignition. "What he really means is that I should be just like him. That I should go to work for him and eventually take over the store. Well, I won’t do it. I’m not giving up on my dreams just because he can’t understand how important they are."

"I’m sorry, Nick. What does your mother say?" Trixie asked. She tentatively put a hand on the back of his neck, and when he suddenly swayed towards her, she put her other arm around him and hugged him tightly. He was right--it was a mess. Trixie couldn’t imagine being at such odds with her own father. It would break her heart.

"She understands what my art means to me, but she’s upset that I didn’t tell them. And she’s right to be, I guess." Nick’s voice broke, but he knew what he had to do. "Trixie, I need your help. Will you help me?"

"Of course I will. But what can I do?" Trixie exclaimed.

Nick drew back and regarded her sadly. "First I need to pack before my parents get home. And then I need to get to JFK..."

"Oh God, Nick! You can’t leave this way. You just can’t!"

Nick’s eyes were bleak. "So you won’t help me then?"

Trixie sighed. "I didn’t say that. But Nick...there has to be a better way. Can’t you just talk to them and make them understand?"

Nick opened the door and Trixie followed suit, stepping out of the car. "I tried that already. My dad is adamant. He says he’s going to call the school and cancel my enrollment."

Trixie gasped. "Can he do that?" She followed him into the house and up the stairs to his room, hurrying to keep up with his longer legs.

Nick smiled bitterly. "No. I’m won’t be 18 until April, but I already called the school and explained the situation. They said as long as I have my GED there’s nothing he can do."

"You have your GED? Then why were you taking these summer classes?" Trixie asked, watching as Nick pulled a large suitcase down from his closet shelf and tossed it on his bed.

"I wanted to graduate properly. I know it’s kind of silly, but there’s just such a stigma attached to having a GED instead of a diploma." He jerked open his dresser drawers and started throwing clothes into his suitcase pell mell. "I never thought I’d be thankful for having it, but I sure am now. Plus, I finished my last test today anyway. It’s just a matter of the paperwork getting filed."

"I can’t believe your dad would try and do something like that," Trixie murmured. Nick’s dad was a hotheaded man, but anyone could see how much he loved his son. How could he treat his dreams with so little regard?

"Me either," Nick said sadly, slamming the drawer shut. He opened the next one down and began to throw its contents towards the bed.

"Stop," Trixie said, holding up her hand. She closed the gap between them and put her arms around him. "Just stop for a second; you’re making a disaster area," she said softly.

Nick hugged her back and shut his eyes. "Well it’s fitting. My life feels like a disaster," he joked feebly. They swayed together for a moment. "Will you take me to the airport and stay with me until my plane takes off?" he asked, kissing her cheek.

"You’re serious. You’re really going to do this," Trixie said. It was not a question.

Nick nodded. "I have too. I know my mom will forgive me. And my dad...well, in time, I hope he’ll forgive me too. I never wanted it to be like this, you know." He sounded like he was going to cry and Trixie hoped fervently that he didn’t, knowing that she would start crying too.

"I know," Trixie said. She leaned her head on his shoulder and sighed. "I’ll take you. Even though I really do think you should try and talk to your parents some more."

"Thanks Trix. I...I’m sorry I’m dragging you into this." He tilted her chin up and kissed her, softly at first, the kiss growing more urgent as it suddenly hit him that in a few hours he’d be gone, and might never see her again. "I’m going to miss you," he lifted his mouth long enough to say, then lowered his mouth again, gripping her desperately. Everything was happening so quickly and the only constant in his life was Trixie. He had convinced himself that what they had was enough, but suddenly he had to have more. His hand moved down to her shorts and he began to unbutton them, breathing heavily.

"Nick...stop," Trixie murmured regretfully, her heart beating wildly. She could feel his control slipping and didn’t want the situation getting any more out of hand than it already was.

He stopped immediately, more than a little stunned over what he had been about to do. "I’m sorry," he said quietly, leaning his forehead against hers for a moment. He felt like he would just fly apart.

Trixie backed off and re-fastened the button. "I’m just not ready for...that." She stood with her hands hanging limply at her sides and wondered what she should do next. "I...I’m sorry," she finished lamely. Would he go off the California despising her? It was an awful thought, but she remembered her vow to stay true to herself. The truth may set you free but it can also be damn uncomfortable! she thought wretchedly. When he spoke again, his voice was so sorrowful she knew her thought was completely off base.

"No. I’m sorry," Nick repeated, sinking down next to his messy suitcase. He idly began to refold some of the items, bring some order to the chaos. "Maybe you should just go. I can call a cab or something." He felt like the biggest fool who had ever walked the earth. How could he let something like this happen? She must hate me, he thought miserably.

"No, I want to take you. I want to give you a proper good bye," Trixie said, leaning down and picking up the jeans that had fallen to the floor. She began folding them rapidly, handing them to him.

"You...you’re not mad?" he began hesitantly, placing the pants into his suitcase. He couldn’t look at her.

The mood was in dire need of lightening. "I reckon I can’t blame a guy for trying," she quipped, folding her arms.

Nick let out a surprised laugh. "You are something, Trixie Belden," he said, a smile chasing away the shadows lingering in his eyes. He leaned a knee on his overfilled suitcase, struggling mightily with the snaps until it finally closed.

"And anyway, you stopped when I asked you too. Some guys...well, they probably wouldn’t," Trixie said, her face reddening.

"Well, they should. If that ever happens, promise me you’ll knee the guy but good," Nick said firmly, his heart suddenly sinking at the thought that Trixie would date other people and so would he. He supposed it was just life. You had to have some failed romances--it was the natural order of things. And it would hurt and you would feel like you didn’t even want to be a part of the human race, and then one day you would again. Eventually, you would. But in the meantime, man oh man did it suck!

"I will," Trixie promised, a small smile tugging at her mouth. What an odd conversation they were having! Nick’s starting to let go, she suddenly realized. Her heart sank at the thought, and yet she was simultaneously relieved. It was a strange thing to realize that being the dumper stunk just as bad as being the dumpee. It just stunk in a different way. And once again, Nick was making it easy on her. "I know you said guys hate this, but Nick, you really are such a good friend," Trixie said earnestly.

"So are you," Nick replied quietly.

"Are you ready?" she asked, holding out her hand.

Nick heaved the suitcase off of the bed with one hand, taking her outstretched hand with the other. I’m not sure, he thought. "Yes," he said.

*     *     *

When Jim discovered that Honey had gone to Crabapple Farm for dinner, he lost no time heading there himself, knowing he was always welcome. He hurried along the path, cheerfully anticipating one of Mrs. Belden’s fantastic meals, his mood high. For the first time, he felt like running his own school wasn’t just a dream. That it was going to happen. His staff of counselors at the camp for troubled youth had followed his lead without question, and together, they had made a real difference. Jim still could hardly believe it.

The door leading into the kitchen was standing open, so Jim merely poked his head in, calling, "Yoo hoo!" as he entered the room.

Mrs. Belden, Honey and Mart turned around in surprise. "Jim! I didn’t think you were coming home until the weekend," Helen Belden said, crossing the kitchen and giving him a hug that he enthusiastically returned. It was so good to be home.

"Yeah, well, since I left the job of cleaning up to my loyal flunkies, I was able to come home a few days early," Jim quipped, hugging his sister and giving Mart a guy shove. He’d sure done enough clean up duty when he himself was a high school camp counselor. Actually, it was kind of fun having the camp to themselves when everyone else had gone.

"And just in time for dinner. Imagine that!" Helen quipped.

"Truly a tour de force in timing," Mart said, balancing a platter of corn on the cob in one hand and a large bowl of mashed potatoes in the other.

Jim rescued the potatoes only to have Brian almost knock them out of his hands as he entered the dining room, Brian heading back into the kitchen. "Hey, you’re back!" Brian said, giving him a guy punch.

"Yeah, I just got back about a half hour ago. Where’s Trixie?" Jim asked. He’d expected to find her setting the table since she wasn’t in the kitchen and was a little disappointed that his surprise was ruined.

"I don’t know. If she doesn’t show up here pretty quickly, Moms is going to be mad," Brian predicted, taking the bowl and putting it on the table. Now that her children were older, she didn’t expect a detailed itinerary of their day, but if was generally understood that everyone be back under the Crabapple Farm roof by dinnertime. And it wasn’t a rule that was ignored.

But she didn’t show up by the time everyone had cleared their plates, starting on seconds. Helen sighed, commenting that it was a good thing Honey and Jim were there, otherwise, what with Mr. Belden working late and Bobby spending the night at the Lynches, there would be something unprecedented in the Belden household--leftovers. "I wonder where she could be?" she wondered aloud, not noticing the uneasy expression on Honey’s face.

They heard the sound of a door opening. "Ah," Helen began, readying a stern reminder in her mind, but it wasn’t Trixie who walked into the dining room.

"Hello all," Peter Belden said, bending down and kissing his wife. He shook Jim’s hand, welcoming him home before noticing that something was missing. "Where’s Trixie?" he asked with a small frown.

"I don’t know," Helen said. She glanced at Honey who was staring into her plate. "She was swimming with you and Diana earlier. Did she tell you where she was going?"

Honey gulped as she found six sets of eyes looking at her expectedly. "She, uh...she went somewhere with Nick." Loyalty and worry were vying for position, but worry was gaining ground. Nick had acted very strangely, and Honey was beginning to wonder if letting Trixie go off with him was the right thing to do.

Helen relaxed. "Oh, so that’s it. They probably went to the movies or something."

"Well, she should have called," Peter commented, loading his plate with his wife’s good cooking. He’d talk to her when she got home.

"What is it?" Brian whispered, seeing Honey’s troubled expression.

"Um...Mr. and Mrs. Belden?" Honey began. Suddenly there was a violent knocking at the front door.

"Whoever could that be?" Helen said, rising from the table and going to the door.

Mart reached across the table and picked up another ear of corn, but before he could take the first bite he heard something so startling he dropped it into his lap, everyone at the table freezing in profound shock as a loud voice seemed to fill the entire house.

The voice belonged to Nick’s father, and there was no mistaking his words spoken so loudly and urgently.

"YOUR daughter and MY son have run off to CALIFORNIA!"

to be continued...

Author’s notes: "Everybody Plays the Fool" - lyrics & music by Rudy Clark, Kenny Williams & Jim Bailey; performed by Main Ingredient.

"Trouble Me" – lyrics & music by Natalie Merchant and Dennis Drew