Happy Holidays VII
THIS IS FOR ALL MY FRIENDS WHO HAVE LOVED AND LOST AND ESPECIALLY FOR THOSE WHO ARE EXPERIENCING THEIR FIRST CHRISTMAS. THIS IS FOR YOU.
A First Christmas and a Gift
by Treanna
She stood in the quiet of the late afternoon her thoughts wandering. She vaguely registered the coldness around her but, dressed warmly as she was, it did not bother her.
She wondered what pain would look like if it was visible and tangible.
Would people see her with a large dark cloud over her head that poured droplets of water on her when the tears were too hard to stop?
Would she be wearing a dark cloak around her that made it hard for people to see the real person underneath? Or would it be like a heavy burden on her shoulders that bent her almost double under the weight of the pain? Because that is what if felt like today.
Time to put up the Christmas tree. How was she going to cope?
The crunch of footsteps behind her alerted her to the fact she was not alone anymore. And the arms around her waist told her who it was. She leant back into his embrace and his arms tightened as he rested his head on her shoulder.
“Hi, baby, how are you doing?”
She sighed. “I have been dreading today the most of all,” she told him. “And now Dad wants me to go down and see him alone while you are all out looking at the lights and collecting the tree.”
“He knows how hard it is for you, honey, and he wants to talk to you.”
Tears ran down her face and she turned in his embrace. “It is just too hard.”
He held her for a few minutes as the tears continued to fall. She then moved away as he handed her his handkerchief, something he had done quite often lately.
She looked up at him and smiled as they walked to the car. As they neared the house they could hear squabbling coming from inside.
“I am going to tell Dad on you. You took my gloves.”
“They are mine, yours are in the mess you call your room.”
Trixie laughed slightly. “I will leave the twins in your capable hands and head down to the farm.”
Jim grimaced. “Thanks, Trix.”
She kissed him and then got into her car. But as she left her smile disappeared.
The outside lights on the farm were already on as she pulled up in her car. Earlier the men had helped her Dad put on the outside Christmas lights and they twinkled against the whiteness of the snow. She made her way inside.
Soft Christmas music wafted through the house from the radio as she headed into the kitchen. Her father was not there as she removed her outer clothing and slipped on the slippers she had brought with her. It was then that he appeared, a smile on his face for his only daughter.
“Hi, Dad.” She walked over for a hug.
“How is my girl?”
She sighed as she fought the tears. “It is not easy.”
He nodded as he looked down at her. “I know, baby. How about you make us a coffee? I have to go and get something and the we can talk.”
She nodded and he walked out.
With shaking hands she made the coffees and then sat down at the table.
A minute later her dad appeared with something in his hands. He sat down and placed something on the table. Trixie gasped.
“Your mother wanted you to have these, Trix,” he told her. “I have given the rest to Jim already, but this is the first. I have copied out a few pages I want you to read now.”
“Daddy.”
He smiled gently. “Your mother started her journal when she was thirteen just like you did. And when her mother gave her the first she wrote in it the same as what she wrote in yours.”
Her father opened the book to the first page and read.
To my dearest daughter,
This is somewhere to write your innermost thoughts
But it is also a place that one day your daughter may read and learn to understand you more as you will one day when you read mine.
Never forget how much I love you and how special you were to me as only a daughter can be.
Your loving mother.
Trixie looked up at her father with tears in her eyes as he handed her some pieces of paper.
“Read, honey. I will be in the lounge when you need me.”
Trixie stared at the pages for a full minute after her father had gone then, wiping her eyes, began to read the first page.
Our beautiful daughter was born today. Not much hair, blue eyes as blue as mine, but with a scream that woke up all the other babies in the nursery. Peter is on top of the world as I am. I love my two sons but a daughter is what I prayed for. To be able to dress her in ribbons and lace and teach her how to be a lady is my greatest joy.
Trixie smiled at this as she read the next page.
Ribbons and lace. What happened. How does a little girl become a tomboy? Maybe having two other brothers around her is hard. Maybe as she gets older she will want to be a little girl again.
THEN
Trixie has a new friend. The Wheelers have moved into the Manor House and they have a lovely girl the same age called Madeline. Though Trixie calls her Honey. Maybe now she will become the lady I so desire.
THEN
I was wrong. Instead of Trixie turning into a lady, Honey is now a tomboy. But I have watched my little girl over the last few weeks and maybe she may never be a feminine lady but she has something about her that draws people to her like honey to a honey pot.
THEN
Honey has a new brother and my little girl has her first crush. Jim is a fine boy and even though he has had a rough time lately he is so generous and honorable as Trixie calls him. Maybe now she will settle down.
THEN
How the years have flown. I have just talked to my little girl and she has had her first kiss. And she is so far away in Australia so I cannot hear how it happened until she gets back. I think allowing her to buy that bikini was a really good idea.
THEN
My little girl’s heart was broken today. And by the one person I never thought capable. Since Reanna came Trixie has had one hurt after another. But seeing Jim kiss another girl was almost unbearable for her. I cannot write down what I want to do with that young man because one day Trixie will read this but I can dream can’t I.
THEN
My little girl is now a married woman. Maybe not the way we planned for it, but after what Reanna and her father did, I knew that Trixie and Jim needed to be together. Now hopefully they can have peace.
AND THERE WAS ONE FINAL ONE
I know that I am nearing the end of my life. I am so tired now and the doctors can do no more. But I am not sad. I have had a wonderful life with Peter and the kids. Trixie has kept me young with all her adventures and I could not be more proud of what all four of them have achieved. I am glad that Mart and Di and their wonderful children moved in with us a year ago so I know that Peter will never be alone. I know that Trixie's first Christmas will be hard without me, as mine was without my mother but I know that I have done the best for her I could have. I have taught her to cook, and keep a house, look after her husband and children and be the woman she is. I once wanted a feminine little girl but I was wrong. She has become a woman in her own right, someone that has taken her dreams and made them into realities. If I could tell her anything, I would tell her could not be any more proud of her and that if I had one wish for the rest of her life it would be that she would always follow her dreams and remember what I have taught her and what she has taught me. And that I was the one privileged to be called her mother.
The tears then fell like rain as she put her head on the table. And a little bit more pain was released.
She wiped her tears, stood up, and walked into the pantry.
An hour later they arrived, tree dragging behind them. As they opened the front door they smelt cookies and all trooped into the kitchen. Trixie and her father turned and smiled at them all.
“There is cocoa on the stove and Christmas cookies on the table. I thought you might be cold and hungry and would want something before you trimmed the tree.”
“You bet.” Mart and his two boys laughed as they headed for the table.
Jim walked over to Trixie. “Okay, baby?”
She nodded as she hugged him. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
She sat and watched the kids laughing over the many decorations that came out of the box and she remembered when they had done the same.
A face at the window made her stand up and head out of the door. She went into the kitchen and grabbed her coat and boots and then went outside.
The boy stood by the window jumped when she approached.
“Mrs Frayne, I am sorry I just...”
“Hello, Joey, why didn’t you knock?”
“Katie told me that you all were coming here to help trim the tree and I just wanted..”
She smiled at him. “It is hard isn’t it.”
He nodded and she saw tears in his eyes.
“Losing dad and mum this year has been really difficult and gran does her best but...”
“I know,” she told him.
“Now, come inside and get warm, Joey. You are extremely welcome to join us.”
The glow on her daughter’s face was enough to know she had done the right thing. With a cup of cocoa placed in one hand and a cookie in the other Joey soon looked right at home.
Later that night Trixie and Jim sat drinking cocoa by their fire when Katie rushed in hugging her father.
“Daddy, Joey just rang me and told me you have offered him a job and a room at the school.”
Jim looked up into her shining face. His grandmother gave up her place at the retirement home to look after Joey after his parents were killed last year and moved into his house. But she is getting older now and more frail and Joey is almost sixteen and he can continue his studies here but earn his board and keep and let his grandmother go back to the home.”
“You are the bestest daddy in the whole world,” she told him as she hugged him again. Then kissing Trixie she hurried out of the room.
“You are a good man, James Frayne.”
“Joey is a good kid and needs some help. Though his interest in my daughter is a little hard to take.
“She is fifteen, Jim.”
“Hmm,” he said, "and I know what we did when you turned sixteen.”
Trixie laughed.
She wrote in her journal and placed it with it back in her desk drawer. She placed her mother's there, too. She would start to read it tomorrow.
“Thank you, Moms,” she sighed. “Being without you is like a half of me is gone and I know that no one could ever fill that gap. I will always miss you but know that you are now out of pain and know that one day I will see you again. I love you so much.”
Then wiping away her tears she put her hands on the keyboard and began to write.
MOM'S
She was born. No, that is not right. More like, one day a carriage of gold sitting on the whitest cloud was delivered to earth carried by two golden angels. In the carriage was a baby, a little girl, with curls of gold and eyes as blue as the heavens above. She was a special baby--a baby that would change the world. A baby that...
Jim walked into the room and saw his wife working on the computer, a trace of tears on his face. He slowly and quietly backed out of the room and headed for their bedroom. He knew that Trixie would know where to find him when she needed him. And he would be there for her as long as breath was in his body. Because he LOVED HER.
The End