rated * non-traditional
A Hand to Hold
by Treanna
Chapter One
Trixie stretched up, her hand on the small of her back. She grimaced with pain but was too busy to do much about it.
Lifting the heavy pot, she placed it on the table.
The noise next door was beginning to get louder and she sighed, knowing the place was already filling up.
She began to dish the stew into large bowls, put them on a tray and after picking it up, backed out of the swinging door.
The noise died down as all eyes turned to her.
She was used to it now as she started to place the bowls on the table, hurrying back for more.
It took her five more trips before every man in the room was served.
She then went back into the next room and picked up the huge pot, lugging it into the next room and plonking it on a table, knowing soon that they would be asking for more.
One by one the men came up for seconds.
“You gonna marry me this week, Trix?”
“Naw, she is gonna marry me.”
“Not if I can help it,” a third chimed in.
“Gentlemen.” She smiled.
“There are lots of women out there looking for men like you.”
“But none of them can cook like you do.”
Trixie smiled as she doled out the rest of the stew, finally scraping the last out.
As the men filed out, Jake, the owner, came in grinning.”
“How many men today?”
“Around forty, I think.”
“Since you came here, Trixie, the men are coming in droves for your stews, breads and biscuits.”
The next bit Trixie knew by heart.
“I must think about giving you a raise...... Someday.”
Trixie sighed as he left.
She turned and began to collect the dirty dishes, knowing more men would be arriving for supper in a few hours.
Bacon and eggs for breakfast.
Stews for lunch and meat and veggies for dinner.
Plus making bread, biscuits, and a huge amount of sweet pies.
Her days usually started by five and she usually fell into bed not long before midnight. Her only break was Sundays when the eating house was closed.
She allowed herself a sleep in before Church. A visit with friends followed. Then back to the eatery by four to begin the preparations for the bread and pies for the next day.
As she put her hands into the hot water to begin washing the dishes she heard a swish behind her. She turned around and a smile appeared on her face.
“Need a hand?”
“I’ll take two if they are going.”
Maddy picked up a tea towel and began to dry the dishes.
The work was done in half the time, which gave Trixie a chance to sit with her friend and enjoy a much-needed cup of coffee.
“Thanks, Maddy, you are the best.”
Maddy smiled. “There is a town meeting on, so Dad and Brian had to attend.”
“What is it about?”
Maddy shrugged. “I am not sure but Brian seemed quite evasive when I asked him about it. I guess we will find out soon enough.”
* * *
“WHAT!”
“You heard me, Trixie. Don’t let me have to repeat it.”
“You mean to tell me that all women of marriageable age have one month to find a man and marry him. What rubbish, Brian.”
“Miss Belden, we have considered this matter fully,” said Mr. Striker. “The land needs to be settled.”
“Mr. Striker, I don’t think a few unmarried women is going to make that much of a difference.”
“Nevertheless, the council has decided.” He turned and left the room.
Robert Striker sidled up to her.
“You know, Trixie, Dad has a point. And I for one am willing to be the first in line to ask for your hand in marriage.”
“Well, Robert, I am honored, but I need to think long and hard on what I want to do.”
Robert scowled at her. “You won’t find anyone else in this town that can offer you as much as I can. I will leave you to think on that, Miss Belden.”
Trixie watched him leave before she sat down.
“Oh Brian, what am I going to do?”
“I am so sorry, sis. I tried to reason with them, as did Maddy’s father, but to no avail.”
“You can’t marry Robert Striker," said Maddy. "I bet it was his father that put him up to it. He is just after a free cook and housekeeper.”
Trixie sighed. “Well, I have had over a dozen marriage proposals today. I am sure there is someone out there whom I can marry and be happy with.”
Maddy smiled. “I have an idea, Trixie. Promise me you won’t agree to marry anyone until I return. Promise.”
Trixie nodded. “I have to get back to work or the men won’t get fed tonight.”
Brian and Maddy walked outside. Brian turned to his wife.
“So what idea do you have? Would it have anything to do with that brother of yours?”
Maddy smiled. “Leave it to me, Mr. Belden.”
* * *
“NO WAY, SIS.”
“But she is a really nice girl and an amazing cook.”
“I can cook for myself.”
“She lived on a farm most of her life before she lost her family and she is not afraid of hard work.”
“I can do my own work.”
Maddy sighed. “You have to get married one day, Jim. You are twenty-three years old.”
She hurried after him as he strode towards the barn. “Jim, stop please.”
He stopped and turned towards her.
“Jim, she is my friend and now my sister-in-law. It is six months since her parents died and she found herself without a home. We tried to help her but she lost the farm. So she took the job with Jake to support herself. We have tried to help her but she won’t accept any help. She knows mother and father are not very wealthy and Brian and I have only been married for less than a year. Now, with the new law, she has to marry and I am afraid she will accept the marriage proposal she has already been given.”
“Then it solves her problem, doesn’t it?”
“But she doesn’t even like this man, and I know that if she does marry him she will be more of a slave than she already is.”
“Aw, sis, he can’t be that bad.”
“Jim, the one proposing marriage is Robert Striker.”
Jim had turned to walk into the barn but turned sharply. “WHAT!! NO WAY IS SHE MARRYING HIM.”
Maddy smiled inside knowing she had won.
Trixie rubbed her forehead, hoping it would help remove the headache that nagged at her.
Since the announcement yesterday, marriage proposals had been coming in thick and fast.
She was thankful the breakfast crowd had finally left and she could concentrate on the lunch.
She thought of how Jake had come in before breakfast and proposed marriage as well. Free help, she thought.
She sighed. “What I wouldn’t give to have a home of my own with just one man to cook and clean for. And maybe someday children to fill her home with love.”
She heard footsteps behind her.
“We are not open again for another couple of hours, if you wish to come back.”
“I came to see you, Miss Belden.”
She quickly turned around throwing suds over the clean shirt in front of her.
“Oh,” she gasped with embarrassment. “I am so sorry.”
“It is okay.”
She then looked up.
“Mr. Frayne, what are you doing here?”
“I came to talk to you about something. And please, call me Jim.”
Trixie studied him for a moment, wondering what he was doing here.
“Maddy came to see me yesterday and told me what the law now says. I have a farm about an hour from town. It has a nice little house and a barn. I have two dozen horses, a milking cow, over a hundred head of cattle and acres of grain soon due for harvesting. I have a nice-sized vegetable patch and even a few fruit trees. I am not wealthy Miss Belden but I can offer you a home of your own, with only the two of us. And maybe one day.” She noticed he coloured slightly. “Young ones of our own for you to mother and love.”
“Are you asking me to marry you, Jim?”
He nodded. “I have to get back to the farm so you need to make your mind soon.”
“Yes.”
“I can come back in an hour once I have collected my supplies.”
“Yes, Jim.”
“What?”
“My name is Trixie and I would be honored to marry you.”
He looked at her in shock. “You would?”
“I was standing here thinking what I wanted most out of life and you walked in and offered me exactly that.”
“So you will marry me now and come home today with me?”
She nodded, smiling at the word ‘home.’
“I just have to pack my things and--”
“Already done.”
They turned as Maddy walked into the room.
“Sure of yourself, were you, sis?”
“You two are perfect for each other. I have also been to see Reverend Simms and he is waiting for you.”
So half an hour later Trixie found herself wearing a gold band on her left hand.
She watched as her new husband put her trunk onto the back of his wagon, already full of things.
She felt tears coming to her eyes as her mother’s rocking chair was carefully lifted aboard. Brian had their father's.
Maddy put her arm around her.
“You two are going to be so happy and I know Jim will take care of you. I will bring the rest of your things next week.”
Trixie nodded.
It was out the corner of her eye she saw Jake approaching.
“I don’t pay you to stand around her chatting, Trixie. The lunch crowd will be here soon.”
“The food is ready,” she told him. “All you have to do is dish it up.”
He grabbed her arm. “Don’t be cheeky girl or I will.”
“Get your hand off my wife,” they both heard a snarl behind them.
Jake dropped his hand and turned to Jim.
“What did you say?”
“Don’t you ever touch my wife again.”
“Your wife?”
Jim moved past him and put his arm around Trixie’s shoulders. “Yes, my wife.”
“You can’t be married to her. She is my cook.”
“The only cooking she will be doing from now on is for us and friends we invite to dine with us. Now, I must get us home. I have chores to do.”
“Trixie,” Jake pleaded. “You can’t leave me. I need you. I will give you a raise. Besides you owe me. No one else would take you in and give you a home.”
“The only thing you owe me, Jake, is my last month's pay. Can I have it now because my husband is ready to go?”
Jake was about to say something when he saw Jim watching him. He turned and disappeared inside returning a minute later with some money in his hand. He handed it to her.
“Who can I get that is as good a cook as you.”
“Emily Rogers is looking for a job.”
“She can’t cook no way as good as you.”
“You had better snap her up soon. She is looking for a husband, too.”
Jake watched her for a moment then hurried off.
When he had gone Trixie turned to Maddy. “I am free.”
Maddy laughed. “I couldn’t bear to see you in that place one more day. Now you have a home of your own and a handsome husband as well.”
Trixie hugged her friend. “Thank you, Maddy.”
“Be happy, new sister. I will see you next week.”
Trixie allowed Jim to help her up onto the wagon and then with a flick of his wrist sent the horses moving.
Trixie turned and waved to her friend until they turned the corner. Then she turned and sat quietly beside the man that was now her husband.
But being quiet was not something Trixie was good at.
“What are your horses' names?”
“The black one is Starfire and the brown one is Lady.”
“They are beautiful.”
“I think so.”
“And your milking cow?”
“Maddy named her Grace because she is so gentle and sweet.”
“I used to love milking when we had...”
She was silent then, the pain still on the surface.”
“I am sorry about your folks and your brother. You must have suffered much.”
“Maddy is going to bring the rest of my things over in a week,” she told him and he knew she was not ready to talk.
“Jim?” she asked a few minutes later.
“Hmmmm?”
“I have only seen you a few times in town and have only ever spoken to you no more than a few words since I came here. But I know you are an honorable man and...”
“And what?”
“Jim, I don’t think I am ready to be a real wife to you yet.”
He was shocked by what she said.
“It never entered my mind, Trixie. We need time to get to know each other before we take our relationship to that level. But, I am afraid we still must share the same bed. It is getting cold and neither of us can expect to work properly if we have to sleep on the floor. But the bed is large.”
She felt her face flush with embarrassment. The only one she had ever shared a bed with was her mother when her aunt and uncle had visited. To share it with a man, even without the intimacies of marriage was unthinkable.
“That will be fine, Jim.”
Trixie sat with her hands in her lap. Jim had not spoken a word to her for a while and she wondered what he was thinking. She had watched his face flush when she had mentioned about being his true wife and wondered if it was what he had expected. Because of her bonnet she could not see his face, but by the relaxed way he held the reins, figured he was not to bothered by her outburst.
“We will be there in a few minutes,” he broke into her thoughts.
“Good,” she told him as she turned into his direction and was instantly disarmed by the smile on his face.
“I hope you like it, Trixie,” he told her.
“I am sure I will, Jim.”
Jim pulled the wagon up to the house and jumped down. He walked around the wagon and put up his hands to her.
“Home, Mrs. Frayne.”
She turned around and leant towards him. Effortlessly he lifted her to the ground. He slid his arm around her shoulders. “I hope you will be happy here with me.”
She looked up into his face and smiled. “I know I will.”
He grinned as he walked towards the back of the wagon.
“Let’s get it unloaded, and then I can show you around.”
“Aren’t you hungry?”
“Starving,” he told her.
“Maddy sent us a picnic, so how about we eat first and then unload?”
“Smart woman, my sister, and an even smarter one in my wife.”
She showed him where the basket was and he lifted it down and took it over to a bench outside the door.
He placed it in the middle and then sat down. She sat on the other side of it.
“It is too nice a day to eat indoors,” he told her and she agreed.
It took Trixie a moment to adjust her eyes to the light but then she looked around in interest at her new home. The kitchen was quite large with fairly modern equipment. There was a large table in the center. Even though the house was tidy she could see that the ingrained dirt had not been removed. She knew she had a job ahead of her.
Jim stood behind her watching the play of emotions on her face. He saw her smile and he relaxed.
“Here, I will show you the rest.”
He went to a door and opened it. “This is the cold store. Be careful the steps are quite steep.”
From the warmth outside, the cold store was very cool. She looked around the shelves that contained canned goods to sugar and flour.
A barrel on the floor contained the potatoes for planting.
“I know I should have had the garden in, but I just don’t seem to have enough hours in the day.”
“It will be okay as long as I get it in within the next few days,” she told him, thinking of the backbreaking work she had in store.
He smiled and suddenly it didn’t seem so hard.
He led her back upstairs.
“This is the wash house, but I am afraid there is already a lot of washing to do.”
He then led her back into the kitchen. Through another door there was a bath and something above it.
She looked at him questionably.
He grinned. “Just something I rigged up. This room has two doors. When I have been working outside I don’t want to track dirt through the house. You can get into this room from outside if you want. I have a separate tank of water outside and when I turn this on.” He demonstrated.
Water flowed from the can above her head.
“What a great idea,” she told him.
“I have yet to figure out how to heat the water. We still will have to carry water for the bath.”
“And emptying it,” she sighed.
“Not emptying.”
He led her outside.
“Underneath here I have placed a big tub on wheels. When you have finished, you pull out the plug in the bath and the water runs into here. Then you can wheel it out to water the garden.”
“Mr. Frayne, you are a genius.”
“Not that hard to figure out. Maddy wants me to help Brian build them one.”
They went back inside.
Jim then walked to the last door. He opened it and Trixie knew why he saved it until last. She walked into the bedroom. Her eyes instantly fell on the large bed in the middle of the room. She would be sharing it with Jim in a few hours.
She forced her eyes away from it and looked around the room. There were pegs on the wall that contained Jim’s other clothes. There was also a few on the other side of the window she knew would be hers.
“There is a trunk in the barn that contains some things that belonged to my mother. Dresses and jeans and the like. You can have whatever you want.
She turned swiftly. “Jeans?”
He smiled. “My mother loved nothing better than helping dad around the farm. And dresses are really not suitable. Don’t you have any jeans?”
“I have one pair but they are really old,” she told him.
“Well then, help yourself. There are some shirts in there too.”
She smiled at him and his heart flip-flopped. “Thank you, Jim. You don’t mind me wearing them when I am helping you?”
“I would be mighty proud to see my wife wearing them and helping me around the house.”
He then disappeared and returned a moment later with her trunk placed over his shoulder. Trixie knew it was heavy, but he carried it like it was empty.
“I will empty the rest of the wagon while you are settling in and then I will go and settle the stock for the night. I will see you later.”
Trixie stood until she heard him go back outside. She then turned and walked back into the kitchen. The sight of her mother’s rocking chair next to Jim’s brought tears to her eyes but she would not let them fall. She got the fire going and put the kettle on to boil. She put on a pot of water and then went down to the cold store for meat and vegetables. She made herself a coffee and then began to cut up vegetables and meat for a stew. She had to remind herself that she was only cooking for two now and the thought kept a smile on her face.
That done she headed into the bedroom. One look at the made bed but unclean sheets had her pulling them off and replacing them with sheets from her trunk. She carried the dirty ones into the washroom to wash in the morning.
Opening the drawers she found that Jim had the three on the left and the three on the right were empty. She hung up her two dresses and her nightgown and put her under things into the drawers with some yard goods she had bought and promised herself she would make a dress. She had never had the time, but maybe now she would.
Maddy had taken the curtains from her room and Trixie was glad. She exchanged the rather dirty curtains for the clean ones. Some heavy dusting and sweeping and it was finished. She stood back and surveyed the room. She nodded with satisfaction and headed back into the kitchen. A good scrubbing had the table and chairs gleaming again. She would have to tackle the stove tomorrow as well as all the washing.
Washing her hands and face she was shocked to realise it was almost dinnertime. She took flour, salt, baking powder and lard and mixed up a batch of biscuits. Sliding them onto a black pan she slid them into the oven. The stew was quite thick already but she added a little flour to thicken it a little more.
She was just pulling the biscuits out when she heard water running. She knew Jim was getting cleaned up so she began to set the table. A few minutes later Jim appeared. He was wearing a clean pair of jeans and a shirt. His feet were bare.
“Smells wonderful in here.”
“Thought you should check out my cooking to make sure you have got a good deal for a wife.”
“Even if you didn’t cook I wouldn’t change you. Now, I will put these dirty things into the washroom and we can eat.”
Trixie put her hand to her fast beating heart. How could things he say affect her so much after only knowing him for such a short time.
“No, wonder the men came flocking back everyday if you cook like that all the time.”
Trixie smiled. “So I pass the taste test.”
“With flying colours.” He grinned. “I don’t know how the men will handle it without you though.”
“They will have to,” she told him as she stood up to get them a coffee. “I am staying right here.”
“Well, I am not sending you away.”
Trixie sat outside enjoying the peace and quiet. When Jim sat beside her she welcomed his presence. He handed her a coffee and they drank in silence.
“Your homestead is beautiful,” she told him.
“Our homestead,” he corrected her. “But thank you.”
She yawned broadly and Jim smiled.
“I think it is time that you and I called it a day.” He watched the play of emotions on her face. “I have a couple of things to do, Trixie, so why don’t you head off to bed now and I will be in soon.”
The speed in which she hurried inside caused him to smile wryly.
Trixie put her cup on the table and hurried into the bedroom. She had never changed into her nightgown so fast. She was in bed before she even heard Jim close the front door.
She lay on her side and closed her eyes.
A few minutes later she heard Jim come into the room and a minute later the bed sagged as he lay down. She heard him sigh, and she knew how tired he was.
“Goodnight, Jim,” she whispered.
“Goodnight, Trix.”
His even breathing told her he was asleep. But sleep for Trixie was long in coming. The room was so strange, the window on the wrong side. She had only ever shared a bed with her mother and having a man asleep next to her, a man that was her husband, was scary.
But all the stresses of the day finally won over and she fell asleep.
Trixie awoke as the sun was coming up. She groaned and buried her head further into her pillow. But the pillow moved and she opened her eyes to encounter green a pair of green ones.
She jumped back from his shoulder, her face flaming. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to...”
He smiled. “It’s okay, Trixie. You only had your head on my shoulder. “You can stay in bed for a while if you like. I am just heading out to do chores. I usually have breakfast when I come in.”
She nodded and then closed her eyes when he sat up. She kept them closed until he left the room. Then she got up and headed for the bathroom.
She quickly dressed and made some biscuits and coffee. She threw in a few eggs and bacon, drinking her coffee as she did.
She had just put them on the table when he walked in.
“I am starving,” he told her, taking an appreciative sniff.
“Then sit down and I will pour you some coffee.”
After they said grace, Jim ate heartily.
“The men in town must definitely be missing you by now,” he told her.
She smiled. “Well, I am definitely not missing them.”
His grin had her stomach in knots and she found it hard to swallow her coffee. When he stood up, she stood up too.
“I should be gone most of the day so don’t wait lunch for me.”
“Hang on a minute and I will fix you something to take.”
“I just have to go out to the barn for a moment and I'll be back.”
While he was gone she quickly made him some bacon sandwiches. She wrapped them and some biscuits into a cloth. A minute later, he came in carrying a trunk on his shoulder. He put it in the bedroom.
“That is my mother’s trunk. The clothes will need to be washed, I expect.”
“Are you sure you want me to have these?”
Again, his smile disarmed her. “My mother would be right proud to know that my wife could make use of her things. Whatever you want out of there is yours.”
“Thank you, Jim.”
She handed him his lunch and he sniffed appreciatively. “Now, I don’t know if these will make it to lunch.”
He stood for a moment, his eyes moving from her mouth up to her eyes.
Trixie, braver than she felt, moved towards him and kissed him lightly on the cheek.
The smile appeared instantly on his face.
“I will be home for supper.”
She nodded and he left.
She walked to the door and stood and watched him as he ran into the stables. She was still there a few minutes later when he came out leading his horse Starfire. She watched him as he got onto the horse. Jim seemed to sense her scrutiny. He turned and smiled at her, giving her a wave as horse and rider rode away.
Trixie sighed a sigh right from her toes and then walked back inside.
First, the dishes, she thought. There were not many and she finished them in no time.
Then she headed for the bedroom. After making the bed, she turned to the trunk.
She stared at it for a moment before opening it. The smell of sandalwood assailed her nostrils.
Kneeling down, she began to remove the clothing that was on the top. Four dresses, two working and two best; they all looked as if they would fit her. She smiled delightedly at the two pairs of jeans and two checked shirts. She knew by looking at the boots that his mother had a smaller foot than her so she put them aside. Underneath the clothing were two more dresses and, as she looked at them, she realised they must have been the ones she wore when she was pregnant. The thought of wearing them made Trixie’s cheeks blush. She quickly folded them and put them aside. There were two nightgowns and a robe, some underwear and some yard goods. And underneath all that was a comb and brush and some books. As Trixie pulled out one she thought was a journal, but when she looked at the first page she realised it read like a book. She put it on the bed, put back the underwear and nightwear, and closed the lid.
She put the yard goods in a drawer and took the rest out to be washed. She wanted to sit down and read the words his mother had written, but she first had work to do and she felt she must ask Jim first.
So she went into the washroom.
By lunchtime all the washing was blowing happily on the lines. She sat down at the table with a sandwich and a cup of coffee. She did not need to look in the mirror to know her face was red and her hair a mass of damp ringlets.
She thought of the garden and dismissed it. She would start it early the next morning. She then realised that it would be Sunday. But the thought of going into town so soon did not appeal to her. Shaking the thoughts out of her head she turned to the rather dirty stove, and two hours later the stove looked like new again. She quickly washed her face and hands and headed outside to bring in the washing.
By the time the last shirt was ironed, it was nearly supper time.
She was exhausted, but she shook herself up enough to make up a stew. While it was simmering she walked into the bathroom. She looked at herself in the mirror, scowling at her reflection.
On impulse she hurried back to the bedroom, grabbed some clean clothes and a towel and hurried back into the bathroom.
The cold water running over her hot body was the best thing she could ever have imagined. Quickly, she washed her body and hair and then reluctantly stopped the water.
She dried herself and then dressed in clean underwear. She took her brush and began to remove the tangles from her curls.
It was then that Jim walked in the outside door.
Jim’s about face was quick as Trixie grabbed up her dress and pulled it in front of her.
Looking up she could see the redness on Jim’s neck and the tops of his ears.
“It might be a good idea if you lock the outside door when you're in here,” he stammered.
“I will from now on,” she told him, edging towards the door. “Supper will be ready soon.”
He nodded as she slipped into the kitchen and closed the door.
She dressed quickly and then began to stir the stew as she heard the water run in the bathroom.
She put her face to her flaming cheeks. What if he had walked in a few minutes earlier?
We are married, she thought, but she quickly dismissed it.
She definitely did not feel like she was married and knew it would be a long while before she would.
A few minutes later Jim opened the door.
“I am sorry,” he told her. “But I usually walk to the bedroom to get dressed.”
“That is okay,” she told him as she turned. She realised he was only wearing a towel wrapped around his lean hips. “Oh!”
He began to walk to the bedroom and she could not help but look at the lean body that passed her. From the washboard stomach to the muscular legs. She never realised before how gorgeous a man's legs could be.
She sighed quietly but Jim heard. He turned around at the bedroom door and she quickly turned away, her cheeks flaming again.
As he walked into the bedroom and shut the door, a huge grin covered his face. Ripping the towel from his hips, he threw it up in the air with joy. “Yes.” He laughed quietly.
As Jim came out of the bedroom dressed, Trixie put the stew on the table.
After saying grace they both ate in silence, not looking at each other.
But a bubble of laughter ran up and down Trixie’s throat and she found it hard not to laugh.
She felt tears forming in her eyes as she tried to stem the giggles.
Jim looked up and saw the tears in her eyes. His heart fell. He had upset her.
“Trix, are you okay?”
She nodded, not feeling safe enough to speak.
“Trix, please tell me what is wrong.”
She looked up and the expression on his face was her undoing.
A shout of laughter came unbidden from her mouth as she collapsed in a fit of laughing.
Jim thought he had married a mad woman. Thoughts of slapping her across the face to stop the hysteria rushed through his brain. But then he realised she was laughing. Really laughing.
A grin covered his face as the tears fell down hers. “Do I get in on the joke?”
She grabbed a handkerchief and wiped her eyes.
“I... have... never.... seen... a man move so...so ... quickly.” She gasped for breath. “When you walked into the bathroom--”
“You were out that bathroom before my feet stopped turning, I think,” he told her.
“And you look cute when you blush. Your neck and tops of ears turned a lovely shade of red.”
“You were a lovely shade yourself, Trix,” he laughed.
He reached over unexpectedly and took her hand causing her laughter to die in her throat.
“You don’t regret marrying me, do you?”
She could tell he was being really serious.
She squeezed his hand. “I may not be ready for a more serious relationship, but I am where I want to be and I am mighty proud to be your wife.”
He again surprised her by jumping up and pulling her into his arms dancing her around the kitchen.
“We are going to have a great life together, my precious wife.”
“Jim Frayne, you are making me dizzy.”
“Like I did when I walked through the kitchen before I hope.”
The heat ran directly to her face and she could have knocked the grin off his face.
“James Frayne.”
He laughed then reached down and kissed her quickly on the lips.
“How about we finish supper?”
He let her go and she had to hold the back of the chair to stop herself from falling.
The kiss, though swift, sent a heat rushing from her toes up her body.
She turned to get them some more coffee, knowing without a shadow of doubt that he was watching her.
Taking a deep breath she turned and walked back to the table. She sat down and poured them another coffee. They finished the rest of their supper in silence.
“I have a few things to do,” said Jim, “and then maybe we could sit outside for a while.”
When he had gone, Trixie automatically cleared up the kitchen. It had been a warm day but the night had brought with it a cool breeze and she longed to sit outside for a while.
She was thankful when she had finished. She made two coffees and went outside.
She put her feet out in front of her, wriggling her toes delightedly against the cool air.
When Jim arrived a few minutes later she was giving in to a desire to doze.
But the thud of Jim’s boots on the wood aroused her and she looked up at him. He pulled off his socks and sat beside her.
“Be thankful you are down windh” he told her and she laughed.
“I hate shoes,” she told him. “I have always loved nothing better than to walk barefoot.”
He nodded. “I was always getting in trouble as a child for taking off my shoes to and from school and I would love to run barefoot through the tall grass. Mum was always worried that a snake would bite me, but Dad would laugh and tell her I ran too fast.”
“Mum used to say that...”
She stopped and Jim again saw pain on her face. He took her hand and squeezed it.
“When you are ready to talk, I will be here.”
She surprised him by putting her head on his shoulder. He put his arm around her and she moved closer.
Jim could not imagine ever being any happier than that moment when he felt that she needed him.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
The darkness surrounded her, the smoke hurt her eyes and burnt her hands. She knew her clothes were burnt but she didn’t care. She had to get to them. Had to save them.
The scream of terror woke Jim.
The sobbing beside him tore out his heart.
“Baby, I am here. Please don’t cry.”
He turned towards her, pulling her gently into his arms.
She resisted.
“Let me help, Trix. Please.”
She moved towards him and he held her close; her tears dampened his chest. He had never heard anyone cry so brokenly and he did not know what to do to help take away the pain.
She moved closer, and her lips were against his neck. Then she put her lips up against his.
“Jim, kiss me. Please.”
She did not give him any option as her lips moved against his. He could not have stopped even if he wanted to. Her mouth opened under his and he groaned with pleasure. He felt her relax against him.
“Jim, love me.” She then told him, her lips against his and his brain registered what she had said.
His body screamed yes, but his mind and heart told him no.
He moved back slightly. “Baby, you are not ready for that.”
“I am. I need you. I want this pain to go away.”
“Oh baby, if I thought that you were ready...but loving you to take away your pain is not the right reason at the moment. I know you will regret it in the morning.”
“I won’t.” She sobbed, her body stiffening against his.
“If you can tell me that in the morning...” He sighed. “But for now you and I must sleep.”
She pulled away from him, turning her body away.
But he would not let her go. He moved towards her, putting his arm around her. She stiffened for a moment and then relaxed against him, moving her body to fit more with his.
“Sleep, baby.”
“Thank you,” she whispered.
Long after her body told him she was asleep, Jim lay awake.
I hope you can trust me enough one day to tell me what happened, he thought.
Trixie woke up the next morning alone in the bed. She did not want to even get out, wishing she could just lay there all day and hide under the covers.
But she knew that Jim would be in soon for his breakfast, a thought that turned her stomach.
What would he say to her this morning? How could she ever face him?
It took her a few more minutes to convince herself to get out of bed and get dressed.
Walking into the kitchen she was relived to find he was not there.
Work had always been a balm to her so she stoked up the fire and put on the water for coffee.
By the time Jim came in a few minutes later there was bacon on the stove and biscuits in the oven.
“Good morning,” he told her.
She could sense the nervousness in his tone.
“Good morning. Breakfast will be in a few minutes.”
She did not know he was behind her until his voice broke into her thoughts.
“It is okay, Trixie.”
The tears that ran down her face refused to stop and she suddenly found herself in a huge bear hug.
“Please, don’t cry, sweetie,” he soothed. “It will be okay.”
“I feel really embarrassed.” She sniffed against his shirt.
“Why?”
“Because of what I did and what I said last night.”
“You did or said nothing wrong. You are carrying a heavy burden and I know you are not ready to share it yet. You needed comfort and who else could give it to you but your husband.”
She looked up and he smiled down at her. “Feeling better now?”
She nodded. “You are an amazing man, James Frayne.”
He grinned. “And I have an amazing wife that is just about to burn my bacon.”
She pushed him away and turned to quickly pull the pan off the heat.
He laughed as he poured them a coffee.
Trixie realised suddenly she was hungry and ate happily.
“I am going to start putting in the garden today,” she told him and he nodded.
“I have some fences to mend so I will be out most of the day.”
As he left Trixie handed him his lunch and he reached down and kissed her gently on the lips.
“I will see you tonight, darlin’.”
She nodded and he left. She put her fingers to her lips and smiled before heading towards the dishes.
Trixie stood up and straightened her back. She was tired but the garden was finally in.
She dragged the wagon back and put it under the shower and then grabbing a coffee sat outside, enjoying the slight cool breeze that blew across the rows of wheat.
She was looking forward to tomorrow when Brian and Maddy would visit.
She could not believe that she had already been married for a week. If someone had told her a week ago she would now be married, she would have laughed at them.
She saw Jim riding in from the distance and smiled as he waved as he dismounted.
She knew his first concern was for his horse so she waited until he again appeared.
She hurried inside and made him a coffee too.
By the time she came outside he had kicked off his boots and sat down on the bench with his eyes closed.
He opened them and smiled at her when she handed him the coffee.
“You look exhausted,” she told him.
“If Striker's men would look after their side of the fences I wouldn’t have to spend so much time repairing them. But, thankfully, I have finished.
“I'm glad.”
“And I see you have finished, too. The garden looks great.”
“It has taken a while but having vegetables in the winter is what it is all about.”
He nodded and they again sat in silence.
“I have cooked a couple of chickens today and thought I might just make up some sandwiches. Unless you want something warmer.”
He shook his head. “How about you just bring out the bread and the chicken and we can make them up as we go. It is much cooler outside.”
She stood up and nodded. “You go wash up and I will be outside soon.”
Trixie grabbed the bread and chicken and put it on the table Jim had made near the bench. She then went inside and got a jug of cool water.
Jim had already started eating when she came back out.
“Sorry,” he mumbled. “I am starving.”
She made herself a sandwich and sat beside him.
For a while they ate in silence.
“Are you looking forward to seeing your brother tomorrow?”
“Oh yes.” She smiled. “It seems like ages since I have seen him.”
“You are both really close.”
“We were always a close family. And now...”
“Maddy and I are close, too.” he filled in the silence. “Even though she is not my real sister, she is as close as any sister could be.”
“Maddy said you have been with them since you were fourteen.”
“Yes, but I have known them since I was born. My two dads were best friends and had the farms next to each other.”
“You must miss your parents.”
“Every day. But I am thankful that there was someone there for me.”
She nodded and he could see she was lost in her own thoughts that he could not enter into yet.”
“Trixie, can I talk to you?”
She looked up at Jim and smiled. “You know you can.”
He sat beside her and she put her book to one side. He opened his hand and in the palm of his hand lay a gold ring.
“I would really like to tell you about what happened to my parents if you would like to know.”
“Jim I...”
“Honey, I am not asking that you tell me your story until you are ready.”
She nodded.
He fingered the ring in his hand.
“My mother’s name was Katie and my dad was Winthrop but everyone called him Win. We owned a farm next to the Wheelers. It wasn’t a huge farm but it was enough for the three of us.
"Mum and Dad had tried for such a long time to have more children but for some reason after I was born it didn’t happen. Mum never said anything to me but I could see the way she looked at other babies how she felt. She was involved in the Sunday School and also helped at the school.
"When I was about thirteen, Mum found out she was pregnant. She was so happy and so was Dad. But from the beginning she seemed so tired and listless. The doctor was worried and told her she must rest as much as possible. About a month before she was due she developed a really high fever and went into labour.”
He paused and Trixie could see that it was hard for him to speak. She reached over and put her hand in his. He closed his hand around hers.
“I remember Mum calling me in. She had removed her wedding ring a few weeks before because her fingers were so swollen. She gave me the ring and told me to look after if and when I marry give it to my wife. I couldn’t understand what she meant at the time. Then the doctor ushered me out. I remember hearing my mum cry out many times but then there was silence. A while later Dad came out and said that Mum wanted to talk to me. He was crying quite openly and I was really, really scared. But Mum wanted me so I went in. Mum had two bundles in her arms and they looked so tiny. But I could see my new baby brother and sister were ... Dead.” He choked on the last word.
“Oh Jim, I am so sorry.”
He wiped his eyes. “I looked at Mum and she seemed so far away. She looked at me and told me that she was so sorry but she couldn’t let her new babies go to Heaven without her and, even though she would miss me, she knew that I would be okay, but her new babies were so tiny and needed their mother. Then she closed her eyes and I lost her.” Again he was silent for a while and Trixie was not sure if he had more to tell.
“Mrs. Wheeler came over with another woman and they cleaned her and the babies up while Dad and Mr. Wheeler made a coffin. The next time I saw Mum she was dressed in her Sunday Best with the babies in her arms dressed in baby clothes. They looked like they were posing for a photo. Standing in that graveside later that day I looked over at my dad and saw the most devastated person I have ever seen. Two weeks later he went to the graveside to take flowers as it was Mum’s birthday. About an hour after he left a huge blizzard came in.” Jim let out a heavy sigh. “He never came back. I couldn’t get to him because of the weather so I had to wait until the storm passed. Four days later I trudged over to Mr. Wheeler’s and told him what had happened. He immediately took off on his horse. He arrived back a couple of hours later and I knew the worst. Dad had been found on top of Mum’s grave. The storm had hit and he left it too late to try and get home. We buried him next to mum and the babies. The Wheelers took me in straight away.
“Mrs. Wheeler had been ill for a while and the doctor told her that farm work was getting too much for her fragile state. We had a long talk and sold both the farms to some new settlers and came here. Mr. Wheeler bought the shop and my money was put away until I was old enough to buy this farm.” Jim looked at her and then asked, “Would you wear Mums ring? I know she would be really happy.”
Trixie nodded. “I would be honored.”
Jim slipped the ring on her finger and then kissed it gently.
“Thank you.” Was all he could get out before he put his head on her hand and his heart broke.
Trixie heard the pain in his voice and remembered other men who had cried like that at their loss. She put her head on his back and cried with him, for his loss and for hers.
But she was not ready yet to share her pain.
The morning sun came up and warmly looked in the window to see the woman already hard at work.
The breakfast was already waiting for the man who was busy in the barn; bread was already baking in the oven. The house had already received a thorough cleaning and even though she was tired she was pleased with her efforts.
She hurried into her bedroom and took a dress off a hook. It had been his mother's but it was as if it had been made for her. Putting it on she looked at herself in the mirror and liked what she saw. The blueness of the dress perfectly matched the blue in her eyes that sparkled with anticipation of the day. She looked down at the ring on her finger and smiled. For the first time in a long time she felt like she belonged. And it made her feel good. The front door opening had her turning and hurrying back into the kitchen.
Jim walked in and looked around. The smells told him that Trixie was up and the cleanness of the house made him realise how long she had been awake. As the bedroom door opened, he smiled at the vision that walked into the room. He remembered the dress his mother had lovingly made and worn. It had looked good on her but on the vision in front of him it was definitely made. He again marveled at why God had chosen to bless him with such a wonderful and loving wife, as well as one that was so beautiful.
Trixie stood there, nervously fingering the skirt of the dress, unsure what he was thinking.
She saw his smile, but still needed him to tell her what he thought.
“Darlin’, you look good enough to eat,” he told her.
She laughed, relief plain on her face. “Do I look okay?”
“If it was someone other than your brother coming, I would be feeling a little jealous right now.”
He watched the blush on her cheeks as she quickly turned away.
He sat at the table as she placed the food in front of him.
When she sat down he reached over and took her hand to ask the blessing. When she went to move her hand away he held it for a little longer.
“Mum would be so pleased to see you in that dress, Trix. If I didn’t know better, I would say that she made it especially for you.”
“I would like to think that she did,” she told him, and he squeezed her hand before letting it go.
As he ate, he looked at the band on her finger; the light coming through the window caused it to shine. And for the first time in a long time he felt totally and utterly fulfilled.
For an instant he felt like standing up and beating his fists on his chest and yelling out with joy. But instead he took another few pieces of bacon and four more biscuits.
Once breakfast was over they sat outside and enjoyed the warmth of the morning.
“We won’t have many more days like this, Trixie,” he told her. “We will get snowed in during winter so I hope you have things to do because town will be pretty hard to get to.”
“I wanted to ask you if I could read your mother's journals. They are in the trunk.”
He smiled. “Mum was always writing in them. They were almost like a book Dad once said. He told me he would love to have them published one day. So you go ahead and read them. They belong to you now.”
She smiled her thanks then saw something in the distance. She jumped up and screamed.
“They’re coming!”
“You must have eyes like an eagle. They are just a speck in the distance.”
She jumped up and down and he laughed at the joy on her face.
“They are getting closer every minute!” she said.
She reached over and grabbed his hand and he allowed himself to be dragged along in a stumbling run towards the growing speck in the distance.
Brian was out of his seat and had his sister in his arms almost as soon as the wagon stopped moving. Jim helped his sister down and she grinned.
“Couldn’t wait, could she?” Maddy said.
“She was awake before me this morning,” he laughed. “I think she was just a tad excited about your visit.”
Maddy looked over at Trixie and then back at her brother.
“Jim, she is positively glowing. Marriage must agree with her.” Then she looked closely at her brother. “And you, too.”
“Thanks, Maddy. I owe you big time, little sis.”
“Just seeing you both happy is all I want.”
At the same time, Brian was saying to Trixie, “You look great, sis.”
Trixie looked up with joy at her older brother.
“Marrying Jim was the best thing that has happened to me in a long time.”
“I am glad,” he told her. “When Maddy told me, I was angry, thinking you had made the best of a bad situation. Seeing you now has changed my mind. I am not worried anymore.”
“Jim is a fine and honorable man, Brian, and he has become really important to me in such a short time.”
Brian saw the smile on Jim’s face as he talked to Maddy. He was satisfied.
“How about we get this wagon into the yard, see to these horses, and unload the wagon?” Brian suggested to everyone. “I am hankering for a good cup of coffee.”
“You men see to the horses,” his wife said. “Trix and I will walk back and get that coffee ready.”
Jim and Brian jumped up into the wagon, which was laden with goods, and headed for the homestead.
Trixie and Maddy linked arms as they slowly followed them.
“So, sis, how is life treating you?”
“Oh Maddy, Jim is so wonderful. I could not have wished for a better husband.”
“And what about the rest?”
“What rest?”
“Trix.”
Trixie shook her head quickly. “I am not ready to commit to Jim in that way yet.”
“I didn’t think you would be.”
“We have had some long talks and he told me about his parents last night.”
“What about you?”
Trixie shook her head. “I had a nightmare a few nights ago and he didn’t ask questions, he just held me and allowed me to cry. I just can’t tell him yet.”
“I know that you will when you are ready and I know that he will be there for you.”
She saw sadness cross Trixie’s face. “Somewhere in that wagon is some chocolate cake Mum made. How about we go and find it?”
Trixie smiled at her gratefully as they hurried towards the wagon.
“Brian, can I ask you something?”
Brian patted his horse and walked over to where Jim sat.
“Sure.”
“Why is it so hard for Trixie to talk about her parents?”
Brian sat down and sighed. “Mate, it took me a long time to talk to anyone. Maddy and I had only been married for a couple of months when we lost them and my brother.”
“When Maddy wrote to us and told us they had died, she didn’t tell us anymore. And even now she won’t talk about it.”
“All I will say is that they were, in my eyes, murdered and Trixie is still dealing with that.”
“I don’t know what to do to help her?”
Brian patted him on his shoulder. “It has been a long time since I have seen my sister so happy. Just keep doing what you are doing and when she is ready she will tell you.”
Jim looked at the trunks and boxes around him.
“I think we will leave all this here and Trixie can sort it all out later.”
“These are some of the things that were left from Mum and Dad and my brother. I don’t even know if she has ever opened them.”
“They will be safe in this corner of the barn until she is ready to deal with it all.”
“Maddy and her mum made some cake and apple pies. How about we go and get some?”
Jim grinned.
“I’m with you.”
Jim and Brian could hear the laughter before they even got to the house and they grinned at each other.
As they entered, they saw both women with tears in their eyes laughing hysterically.
When Trixie saw them she jumped up, wiped her eyes and grabbed two more mugs of coffee.
Brian looked at his wife. “You are not going to tell me what you are laughing about, are you?”
“No way,” she declared.
“Why not?” Jim asked, confusion on his face.
Brian laughed. “Mate, you haven’t been married for that long, have you? When women laugh like that it is usually related to something we have done and you don’t want to know.”
“Is nothing sacred?” Jim groaned, realizing by looking at Trixie’s face what they had been discussing. He remembered with clarity the scene in the bathroom.
“Some things are, big brother, but there are others that are fair game.”
“I heard there was apple pie.” Jim sat down at the table and Trixie cut him a huge slice.
When he looked at her, she winked at him and he grinned.
Boy, you are gorgeous, he thought as he took a huge bite of the pie.
Brian reached into his pocket and pulled out a white envelope.
“Something arrived yesterday for you, sis.”
Trixie screamed delightedly as she almost snatched it from his hands and ripped it open.
Her eyes scanned the pages and she looked up laughing.
“I can’t believe it,” she laughed.
“What?” asked Jim.
Trixie handed him the papers. “My brother is coming here to live.”
Jim scanned the letter and looked up with a smile.
“I did not know your brother was a teacher.”
Brian nodded. “He has been living back East with his wife, but was hoping to get closer. Mrs. Branston, the current teacher, is leaving in a couple of months to have a baby and he has been offered the job. They arrive in a month.”
Trixie grabbed Jim out of his seat and danced him around the room.
“We have prayed so hard that he would be closer and now we will have our family back together again. I have missed him so much.”
Jim looked down at her and smiled.
“I am really glad,” he told her, and for a minute they just looked at each other.
A discreet cough had them both turning towards the table.
“Are you finished mooning at each other? Remember, we came for a visit.”
Jim took Trixie’s hand and they walked back to the table.
“I am so pleased they are moving here,” Trixie said to Brian. “I have missed them both so much.”
The afternoon sky warmed brother and sister as they walked away from the house.
“Trix, Jim was asking me about what happened.”
“What did you tell him?” Her voice sounded so lost again and he took her hand.
“I told him that when you are ready, you will tell him.”
“Brian, it still hurts so much. I don’t know when I will be ready. When Jim told me what happened to his parents last night, I was so scared that he would want me to talk. But he told me when I am ready, he will be there for me.”
“I know he will. Just take each day as it comes. Our parents would not want you to be sad. I know they would be happy you had found someone like Jim.”
Trixie smiled. “Daddy would say that I had found my rock. He always said I needed a rock because I was so hard headed anything softer would crumble underneath my iron will.”
Brian laughed. “Well, you are a stubborn so and so, sis.”
“Just like mum was.” She sighed. “I miss them so much. All three of them.”
Brian gave her a hug. “So do I, sis. So do I.”
“Now, we will see you in the morning for church and you will come and have lunch with us?” Maddy said as she and Brian prepared to leave.
Trixie nodded. “Last week was too early to come and see people, but I am ready now.”
“Well, there are a few people who were not impressed by your marriage and will make themselves heard tomorrow.”
Jim put his arm around his wife’s shoulders. “They can complain all they want, but Trixie is my wife and she belongs here with me.”
Trixie’s heart lifted as she waved goodbye to her brother and her sister-in-law.
But she was still worried about what would happen when they went into town tomorrow.
Trixie was tired the next morning and found it hard to drag herself out of bed. She had not slept well the night before, worrying about the visit to town. But work had always been her way of dealing with things so she dressed in jeans and a shirt and got breakfast ready. She had already pressed one of Jim’s mother’s dresses but knew from experience she would mess it up if she put it on before breakfast.
She strained the milk and left it by the door.
Jim always took the extra milk and eggs to town on a Sunday and his parents sold it in the grocery store. She knew that they would also have an abundance of fresh vegetables when they grew. Jim had told her that any money she made from the vegetables could be for her and she smiled at the things she could buy with it.
Putting the dress on, she reached behind her to button up but the buttons were so many and so small she could not reach them all.
“Jim?”
“Yeah, honey?”
“Can you help me with these buttons?”
He came into the bedroom laughing. “I can remember all the times Mum would ask Dad to do that. 'Now turn around, Mrs. Frayne,' he would say, 'these buttons were not made for huge hands like mine and I need to concentrate.'”
His fingers against the skin on her back caused her to gasp sharply.
“Okay, Trix?”
“Your fingers are cold,” she quickly told him.
“Oh.”
She could hear disappointment in his voice but for the life of her could not tell him how the touch of his fingers against her skin had affected her.
“Hmm,” he said next. “These buttons are not made for my huge hands either.”
Trixie laughed and he smiled with her. Before he did up the last two buttons he reached down and kissed the back of her neck. Then finishing the last two buttons he turned her around.
“Let me look at you, Mrs. Frayne.”
If the other dress had been made for her, then so had this one.
He was again awed by the beautiful woman he had married. He watched as she tied the matching bonnet over her blond curls. He couldn’t resist gently tugging the one that fell across her forehead.
“You are a vision, darlin’,” he told her. “I am mighty proud to show off my new wife to everyone.”
It must have been the right words to say because she threw her arms around his neck and he closed his arms around her.
“I wish I could have met your mother,” Trixie told him.
“So do I,” he told her, inhaling the fragrance that was uniquely hers.
Moving away slightly he kissed her gently on the lips.
“Have you got everything you need?”
She nodded. “I have the basket of food in the wagon and you have already put in the milk and eggs. Is there anything else you need?”
“Darlin’, all I need is right in my arms at this moment. I have no need of anything else.”
He expected her to blush but she just looked at him directly in the eyes and he found it almost impossible to break contact.
“Thank you,” she whispered. He moved away, reached for his hat and jacket and taking her hand led her to the wagon.
He watched her pleat and repleat the front of her dress. He reached over and took her hand and squeezed it.
“It will be okay, darlin’. People will only look for a while. There will be more weddings over the coming weeks that will give them something else to talk about.”
“I know, but I hate being the center of attention.”
“I will be with you, fending off any problems.”
“For that I am grateful.”
Not far from town, he stopped. A huge homestead spread to the left of them.
“What is wrong, Jim?”
“Nothing, darlin’. I always stop here and look it over. This would be my dream place.”
“Mr. Hawkins place?”
“When we first came here I used to spend a lot of time here. Mr. Hawkins took me under his wing and taught me things that dad didn’t. He is breeding some fine horses but I know if I had this land I would be able to breed exceptional ones. That is my dream.”
“Maybe Mr. Hawkins will sell someday.”
“That is what I am hoping for. After buying my homestead I have enough left in bank to purchase this place and if he ever sells he has promised to give me first go on it. Our land will sell easily and this land is also nearer to town so our young'uns will be able to go to school.”
“Well, then, I will believe with you, for this land, Jim. You deserve the best.”
“I got the best when I married you, Trixie.”
“And I you, Jim.”
He set the horses in motion again and in a few minutes they were at the store.
He had just helped her down when his parents came outside.
She was enveloped in strong arms and looked up to see Mr. Wheeler smiling down at her.
“Well, now, what do we have here?”
“Hello, Mr. Wheeler.”
“When you are ready, 'Dad' will do.”
She nodded and he smiled.
She was then hugged more gently.
“When Maddy told us, we were shocked,” Mrs. Wheeler said. “My confirmed bachelor son married. Looking at both of you now I can see that it was the best decision he ever made.”
“Mine too,” she told her.
“Now, let the men bring everything in, I have tea on before we head over to church.”
Sitting down in the comfortable sitting room Trixie felt immediately at home. She had only been in there once before and not on her own.
“Now, child, is there anything you need at home? I have not been out there for a while and Maddy told me you might be needing a few things.
“I have a shopping list, but with what I already had, we are fine.”
“We will get your shopping later. Jim already has a large credit here so don’t worry about what you buy.”
She then reached over and fingered the dress Trixie wore.
“Katie looked good in this dress, but you look lovely.”
“That is what Jim said, too. What was his parents like?”
“The most honest people I have ever met. They loved each other with such passion. They were really two parts of a whole. When Katie died, I think Win died with her. His body kept going for a while but inside he had already left. He couldn’t live without her.”
“It must have been hard for Jim, losing both his parents so early in his life.”
She nodded. “He was heartbroken when we took him in but slowly he started taking an interest in life again. I think moving away from his parents land was a good move. Now he is happy and contented again which makes me happy too.”
“He is a wonderful man.”
Mrs. Wheeler nodded. “He sure is.”
Laughter had them turning towards the door.
Jim walked in with his father, Maddy, and Brian.
He smiled at his wife and mother.
“Well, darlin’, how about we go face the wolves?”
She laughed. “As long as you have your gun with you.”
He winked as she stood up. “Always do.”
Sitting between the Wheelers and Maddy and Brian she still felt exposed. But Jim’s arm around her gave her comfort.
Leaving the church she waited outside for Jim. He had been stopped by Mr. Hawkins and she continued on. The Wheelers had left as soon as the service had finished and she could not see Brian and Maddy anywhere.
Suddenly she was grabbed and spun around.
She looked up into angry eyes.
“Trixie, what have you done to me?”
“I don’t know what you mean, Robert?”
“You and I had an understanding and you go off and marry another man.”
She tried to pull her arm away, but he tightened his grip and she winced.
“We had no understanding, Robert, so let me go.”
“I asked you to marry me and you told me you would think about it. I come the next day to see what your answer was ,but you had gone and married Frayne. How could you do that to me?”
“I never told you I would marry you. I had many marriage proposals over the last few weeks and many on the day the council made their decision. I made my decision and now I am married to Jim.”
“He is a lousy landowner who causes many problems for my father. You have married a liar and a cheat and I will not allow it.”
“Get your hands off my wife, Striker.”
The words were quiet, but the threat was there.
Robert dropped him arm and turned to face Jim. “You only married her to get even with me, Frayne, and I will make sure that the whole town knows it. And when she knows it too, she will leave you and come to me. She is mine.”
Trixie had never seen such anger on a face before and she was surprised at Jim’s restraint.
“You touch my wife again and you will need more than Brian to put the pieces back together.” He took a step towards him and Robert backed off.
“This is not over, Frayne, and you know it.”
With that he hurried away towards the church.
Jim had his back to her and she could see his breathing slowly returning to normal. When he turned to her the anger was gone, replaced by such concern tears began to fall down her face.
“Oh darlin’,” He said putting his arm around her. “Let’s go to the store. There has been enough for folks to look at.”
Trixie bit her lip and allowed herself to be led away.
Was he embarrassed by what had happened?
Mrs. Wheeler saw her face and shepherded them into the sitting room.
When she shut the door Trixie turned to Jim.
“I am sorry that you were embarrassed.”
He frowned for a moment then realization hit him.
“Oh, darlin’, I didn’t bring you here because I was embarrassed by what had happened. I was concerned for you and could see how upset you were. The last thing you needed was an audience.”
She nodded this time unable to stem the flow of tears.
His arms were instantly around her.
“Jim, he scared me. He was so angry.”
“The Strikers have always been sore losers.”
“But what he said about you only marrying me...”
“Now, you know that is nonsense.”
He led her to a seat and sat beside her.
“I will tell you what happened when Maddy came to visit me. Okay?”
She nodded. He handed her his handkerchief and she wiped her eyes.
“When she first approached me, I said no way. I had seen you in church but had not ever spoken to you. Even when she listed your attributes I was still not convinced. But then she mentioned that Striker had proposed. There was no way I wanted any woman, especially not Brian’s sister to marry into that family. You would have been a slave to Striker and his father. I know beyond a reasonable doubt that his father was behind the proposal, wanting a free housekeeper. I couldn’t let that happen.”
“So you married me out of pity.”
“After Maddy left, I sat for hours thinking about what she had said. I suddenly realised after she left how lonely I had become. The thought of another person in the house with me really began to appeal. I know Brian well and knew his sister must be someone special.
“The day I came to down I was prepared to propose to you and get married for companionship. But what did I find?” He grinned. “A woman standing at a sink, damp curls around her forehead, who threw water on my clean shirt. At that moment I was hooked.
“I have never believed in love at first sight but at that moment I knew I had found the other half of myself and I knew that if you didn’t marry me I would remain a bachelor for the rest of my life because no one else could measure up to you.”
“Oh Jim.”
“In such a short space of time you have become more precious to me than everything that I have and I would give it all up if there was a risk of losing you.”
“Oh Jim,” was all she could again say.
He reached out his arms began to draw her towards him.
“Oww.”
“What is wrong?”
She shook her head. “I am fine.”
“No, you are not.” He ran his hand gently down her arm and saw her flinch. “Roll up your sleeve, baby.”
“I am fine.”
He reached over and undid the buttons at her wrist and gently rolled up her sleeve. Trixie looked with fascination at the huge bruise that encircled his arm.
She flinched as Jim swore.
“Mother!” he yelled out.
His parents, Maddy, and Brian rushed in.
“What is wrong, son?” she asked.
“Look what Striker did to my wife.”
Brian put on his doctor’s hat for a moment. “That must hurt, sis.”
She nodded, unable to speak.
Jim looked again and headed for the door. “I am going to find him and tear him apart.”
Trixie jumped up. “Jim, no.”
“Look what he did to you.”
“I know, but hurting him won’t fix it.”
“It will make me feel a lot better. Dad, I want him charged.”
“I will go and see Jed now,” his father told him.
“I will come with you.”
“Jim, you are too angry. Brian and I will go and talk to him and if he wants to talk to either of you I will tell him to come over later.” He put his arm around his son.
“Look after your wife, son.”
Jim stood for a moment and then took his wife in his arms.
“We will get lunch ready,” Maddy said. She and Mrs. Wheeler quietly left the room.
Trixie stood by the door her arms around her. The day was warm but a cool breeze blew curls around her face. She sighed recalling the nightmare day she had yesterday. The altercation with Robert, the anger on Jim’s face and then having to talk to the sheriff.
But she was home and she was glad. She did not have to face anyone else for another week.
She was about to turn when she saw a horse and buggy approach.
Goose pimples ran down her arms and she bit her lip anxiously. Then relief had her leaning against the door frame when she realised who it was.
She had a smile on her face when the buggy stopped and a woman jumped out.
“Quite a couple of weeks you have had, missy.”
Trixie grinned as she went over to hug her friend.
“Ginny, I didn’t know you were back.”
“Came back yesterday and went to see you to be told you had gotten yourself married and also about what happened after church yesterday. We have a lot to talk about young lady.”
Trixie nodded and Jim tore into the yard on Starfire. He looked visibly relieved when he saw who it was.”
“Well, hello, James Frayne. I see you did very well for yourself in the marriage stakes.”
Jim grinned. “Sure did, Ginny. I saw the buggy approaching and wasn’t sure who it was so I thought I would just make sure Trixie was okay.”
“She is fine. We are just going in for a chat.”
Jim nodded. “I will see to your horse and get back to checking the fences.”
“Do you want a coffee before you go.”
“No thanks. I will see you for supper.” And with that he jumped into the buggy and headed for the barn.
Trixie and Ginny went inside.
“Are you happy, Trixie?”
Trixie turned from the stove and smiled. “More than I thought possible.”
“James Frayne is a fine man, Trixie, a fine man indeed.”
Trixie nodded as she set a coffee in front of each.
“Now, tell me what happened yesterday,” Ginny said.
Trixie sighed and told her. Ginny was the only person she had ever confided in regarding her parents and she felt secure in their relationship.
They had met the day Trixie had come into town and had become suddenly best of friends and confidants. So it was no problem to talk about Robert.
Ginny sat for a moment frowning. “Trixie, I want to tell you a story about what happened seventeen years ago. It is known but not common knowledge.”
Trixie nodded.
“When I was fifteen, I fell in love with a man who was twenty-three. I was, of course, too young to marry, but I knew that he was just waiting until I was old enough to court. One day a woman came into town with her young son. Her husband had been killed in an accident but she never said what. She started working as a housekeeper for the man's father. My father had told me that when I was sixteen the man would be able to finally state his intentions towards me. Well, two weeks before my sixteenth birthday I heard that he had married the girl and taken the boy as his son. I was, of course, devastated and tried to talk to him when next I had seen him. But all I could determine was that his father had pressured him into it.
“Now this woman and her son were strange. I am sure now that she had some kind of mental illness. From the men who worked on the homestead she would walk around outside during the day in her nightgown and at night sometimes she would run and cry wearing no clothes at all. Then one day we heard that she had died. Old doctor Brennan was very close-mouthed about what had happened but many believe she had killed herself. The man kept the boy and most don’t realise that it is not his son. His son has always been strange but lately seems to be following in the footsteps of his mother. I only told this because I want you to be aware of this and be careful.”
“You are talking about Robert, aren’t you?”
Ginny nodded. “He has had an infatuation with you since you came into town. I have seen the way he looks at you.”
“Are you still in love with Mark Striker?”
Ginny sighed and nodded. “He broke my heart but I can’t get him out of it. I went to him after his wife died to see if there was anything I could do, but he shut me out and I have never been able to get in since.”
“Is that why you have never married?”
Ginny laughed. “I have had many suitors but no one has ever come close to Mark. When Dad died and left me the shop and I sold it to the Wheelers, it left me fairly comfortably off. And with the dressmaking I do, I am content. But I would give my right arm if only once he could look at me the way he used to.” Then she smiled. “Let’s get off this morbid subject and have a good chat. I want to know what you have been up to since you got married.”
Trixie hugged her friend. “Thank you for listening to me.”
“Now, take my advice and tell him. I know he will understand.”
Trixie could not sleep. Jim’s even breathing told her he was asleep but for her it would not come. So as quiet as she could she walked into the kitchen and lit the lamp. Then sliding her feet into her boots crept outside.
The barn was quiet as the animals slept. The only sound she could hear was thunder rolling above her head, mimicking the noise in her heart.
She put the lamp on a hook and looked down at the trunk. She pulled out a quilt and lay it on the floor. Then sitting down she pulled out another one and placed it over her knees. Reaching in her hand she pulled out a photo. It was taken a year earlier and she smiled down at the many faces staring back up at her.
She couldn’t help the tears that plopped down onto the glass.
“Trix, honey, are you okay?”
She looked up to see him standing above her. She had not even heard him come in.
“I just need some time, Jim.”
He sat beside her and took her hand but she shook his away.
“Honey, I have given you time. I know you are not sleeping and I know that this is eating you up.”
“You have no idea what happened!”
“Not if you won’t tell me.”
“Jim, it is too hard to say anything. It hurts too much.”
“And it will keep on hurting until you talk.”
“Don’t push me, Jim.”
“Darlin’, I just want to see you happy and contented and with this hanging over our heads it is impossible to move on in our relationship.”
Anger surged through her and she turned to him with fire in her eyes.
“How can you know anything? What would you do if your parents and brother had been killed because they caught a cold.”
Jim looked at her quickly. “WHAT?”
The rain fell in sheets, all but obscuring the tiny light that shone dimly from the barn. For the man standing alone on the porch, his insides raged like the thunder across the sky.
She had told him to leave and like an idiot he had.
How could he leave his wife alone with the pain she was feeling. How could he be so stupid?
But she had asked him to go, pleaded with him to leave her alone.
He looked up at the raging sky.
“If you just stop raining for a few seconds, I will see it as a sign to go over and look after my wife.”
The moment the rain stopped Jim was flying across the ground, his feet barely touching the mud splattered puddles.
Trixie did not hear the barn door open and close, but she felt his presence behind her. She knew why he had come and she also knew it was time to finally let go.
“My dad and mum were the best parents anyone could wish for. And Bobby, my younger brother, was so much fun. We had a farm about the same size as this one. Dad and the boys worked really hard to make it work. When Brian and, then, Mart left to further their careers, I took over a lot of their work. Bobby helped, but he was only twelve and, as Dad used to say, his muscles hadn’t fully grown in yet.
“Brian and Maddy had been married about two months when Cholera swept through our town. Mum was hardly ever home. She was always out attending to others. We were so worried that she might get it but she seemed to be immune. Then one day she came home with a cold. Dad and Bobby developed it as well. I was looking after them and one day had to go into town.”
He saw the pain deepen across her eyes and knew that her story was causing her so much pain. But he also knew that she needed to finally let that pain go.
She sighed deeply.
“The couple on the next farm were older and had never had children. They were like an aunt and uncle to us. Mum had been there helping the woman who had got sick. While I was in town, she died. Her husband was inconsolable. In his mind he blamed my mother for her death, thinking she had passed it on. So, while I was in town, he came over. He walked in the house and saw Mum and Dad and Bobby in bed sick with a cold. He brought his shotgun with them and in anger...”
She gulped many times and her voice broke.
“He then poured kerosene all over the rooms. But he left it too long to light. Brian thinks his mind had already gone and he was walking around the rooms ranting and raving before he lit the match. He went up in flames but the rest of the house was only slightly damaged.”
“Brian had followed me home to check on our parents and Jim we found them all there. He had shot them all in the head and killed them instantly. Dad had thrown himself over mum trying to protect her but he was too weak to fight. This man had thought they had cholera and had killed them over a cold. He...Killed...Them...Jim--he killed them all. I lost the farm, I lost my parents, I lost my brother. They were executed because my mother tried to care. Jim, I can’t take the pain any more.”
Her screams of pain startled the animals as the thunder and lightning roared across the sky.
He pulled her into him arms, not knowing what he could do to ease the pain, a pain he could not even imagine, a pain he knew had almost consumed her like the fire had consumed the man in his grief.
She clutched at his clothing, almost tearing it off his body in her attempt to hold him closer.
“Jim, love me, please. Take the pain away. Please, Jim. Please, Jim.”
“Trix, I...”
“Jim, please, I wanted to die with them. I blame myself for not being there and protecting them. Why did I not get the virus? Why did God not take me, too?”
Jim could not stop the tears from falling down his face.
“Baby, it was not your time. You have so much left to do in this world.”
“But what about Mum, Dad, and Bobby? Bobby was only twelve years old. His life had only just begun.”
“I wish I knew. I want to take your pain away. I love you.”
She looked into his eyes so full of tears and knew her peace lay in his arms.
And he also knew.
His lips found hers as she clung to him, her peace, her safety, her love.
Outside the storm continued to rage. But inside the storm that raged inside of Trixie began to still. Gentle soothing rain seemed to cover her body, finally releasing her from the nightmare she had found herself in for the last seven months.
In Jim’s arms she was finally free.
Trixie woke up to rain still hitting the roof. She stretched and then quickly put her arms back under the covers. She looked around. Jim and his horse were gone, and she could see that the cow had been milked.
Memories of the night before cause a smile to cover her face. She turned on her side and saw her nightgown and robe. She moved her hand under the covers and her eyes opened.
She was unclothed, in her birthday suit, naked.
Thoughts that Jim might have moved the covers off her while she slept caused a blush to cover not only her face but the rest of her body.
She quickly pulled on her nightgown and stood up, grabbing her robe. Pulling on her boots, she walked towards the barn door.
At the door she looked back at the two crumpled quilts. Again memories of the night before caused a blush that warmed her body.
She opened the door hurried back to the house through the rain.
Inside the door she found the milk bucket and Jim had already started the fire. She strained the milk she grabbed some eggs and made omelettes.
She had her back to the door when Jim walked in.
“Hey, darlin’, that smells good. I am starving.”
Trixie put the omelettes, bacon and biscuits on the table.
As he sat down, he reached out his hand to hers to say the blessing and an electric shock of emotions ran down her arm.
Jim looked up at her and winked.
Trixie smiled back at him, at a loss of what to say.
It was only after they had eaten that she realised that Jim was wet from the rain.
“You need to get changed,” she told him as she picked up his plates.
“I have done all I need to until this afternoon, so I guess getting changed will be a good idea.” He got up and walked to the bedroom door. He then stopped and turned around. “I have a confession to make.”
She stopped dead in her tracks. He was going to tell her that last night wasn’t any good for him and he was disappointed.
As she braced herself to receive the bad news he smiled.
“I have this problem, darlin'. I have always been able to dress myself wonderfully, but I have a real problem undressing myself.”
She looked up at him in shock. “WHAT!”
He shrugged and his grin shook her to her core.
“I was kinda hoping that you might be able to help me with the buttons on my shirt. They are the ones that give me the most problem.”
“Your shirt?”
He walked over to her and took her hands in his. He then put them against his chest.
“These buttons.’”
Even though his shirt was wet she could feel the heat from his body already drying the shirt.
“Jim?”
He kissed her hand gently. “Come with me, baby.”
She suddenly grinned. “Haven’t had a better offer all day.”
She squealed as he swung her up into his arms. The bedroom door slammed shutting off the rest of the world from their own little one.
Trixie finished Jim’s shirt and placed it on the back of his rocker. She then picked up her dress and proceeded to iron it. When she had finished she lay it down and then stretched her back. She knew that Jim would be in soon.
She sighed with contentment and worry.
The last few days had been for her the closest thing to heaven.
She had shared not only her body with Jim, but also her most innermost thoughts. And he had shared his. He had again spoke about his agonies losing both his parents so close together. But he also spoke of his gratitude and love to the Wheelers for taking him in and giving him a home and a family.
She now felt free to talk to him about all the pain that she had gone through, and with his gentle voice he had spoken to her, soothing her mind and her heart.
But her brow furrowed in worry. Today would be the first time she would see Robert since their meeting the last week and she was concerned what would happen. She did not know what the sheriff had said to him or if he had said anything. But she knew that Jim would be there to protect her from any harm.
She was already dressed when Jim hurried in.
“Sorry, darlin’. It took me longer than I thought to get all my chores done. I will just take a quick wash and then get dressed and we can go.”
He didn’t notice the worry on her face until they were halfway to town.
“Are you concerned about seeing Striker again?”
She nodded.
“I am sure that Jed went to see him and has given him a warning to leave you alone.”
“I hope so. He was so angry with me.”
“If he comes near you, darlin’, it will be the last time believe me.”
She was startled by his anger and placed her hand on his arm.
“Jim, it will be fine, I am sure.”
He smiled at her and she again forgot to breathe.
“After this last week, I cannot see anything that could spoil my mood.”
She blushed slightly and then looked into his smiling face. “Nothing could come close.”
“So you have no regrets in becoming my real wife?”
“Jim, when we married I found you a truly honorable man. You have protected me, laughed with me, and cried with me. To progress to a more physical relationship was the right thing to do. I have no regrets and can tell you that you are one fantastic lover as well as my best friend.”
Jim gulped slowly and then she saw tears glisten in his eyes.
“When my parents died I determined that I would never love anyone again. Then I found a family with the Wheelers and a whole lot of love and care. But with you I can truly see what my parents had together. You are the most important person in the world to me darlin’ and you have become half of my heart. When you told me what happened to your parents I felt every inch of your pain and knowing that I was able to help you deal with it makes me feel like a King. I love you darlin’.”
“And I love you too, Jim.”
They smiled at each other as the wagon neared town.
Jim pulled out the front of the store and hopped down. He reached up for Trixie and gently placed her on the ground in front of him. His eyes locked with hers and she was mesmerised by the green eyes above her.
“May I interrupt?” A voice said beside them.
Trixie turned and screamed. She ran into the arms laughing. “Mart, what are you doing here? We didn’t expect you for a few more weeks.”
He laughed. “The new teacher arrived early and there was no reason to keep us there any longer so we packed up and headed here. We can have a couple of weeks vacation before I start as teacher. We are going to stay with Brian until our house is vacant.”
Trixie hugged him again. “I am so pleased we have our family back together again. I have missed you both so much.”
Mart looked above her head.
“So you are the man that finally tamed my sister?”
Jim laughed. “I think that would be an impossible task for any man.”
“Hey.” Trixie turned to him. “Thank you very much.”
Jim and Mart laughed as they shook hands.
“So where is Diana?”
“Waiting patiently until the men have finished.”
Trixie hurried over and gave her a hug, being careful with the bundle in her arms.
Di smiled at her and then handed her the bundle.
Trixie looked down at the precious little face that lay sleeping in the blanket.
“Auntie Trixie, meet your new niece Cyana Jane.”
“Di, she is beautiful. Look, Jim. Isn’t she just divine?”
Jim slipped his arm around his wife and smiled down at her.
“She is beautiful, darlin’.”
Trixie smiled up at him and then looked again at the tiny bundle asleep in her arms. A longing crept deep in her soul, and she hoped that soon she would be able to also hold a child of her own in her arms.
Jim’s arm tightened around her and she knew the same thoughts were also on his mind.
“Now, don’t you all forget our supper and dance on Saturday. We are planning to start about five so you can all make it and we will then be able to finish early enough for you all to get home.” The preacher smiled down at the congregation. “Now for our last hymn.”
Trixie sighed with relief. Robert, for some reason, had chosen not to come to church and she was grateful. She had seen his father and he had given her the cold shoulder. But sitting next to Jim she felt safe.
She looked down at the little bundle in her arms. Cyana Jane had been a perfect angel through the whole service. She had been so glad when Diana had placed her in her lap as they had sat down and she felt guilty for paying more attention to the baby than the sermon.
An ache deep inside of her made her again wish for a child of her own.
A child with red hair, and green eyes. And maybe with curls on their hair.
Travelling home that afternoon she smiled again at the vision of a child from Jim.
Jim saw the smile.
“What is that smile for, sweetie?”
“I was just thinking about Cyana Jane. Isn’t she the most beautiful baby you have ever seen?”
He squeezed her hand. “I think that we could make one more beautiful. Don’t you think?”
“I assume it takes much practice though to get the recipe right for a perfect baby. Don’t you think?”
His laughter rang through the trees. “Mrs. Frayne, you are a very smart and very irresistible woman. When we get home and the chores are done I will be willing to do as much practice as we need.”
And over the next week they did.
Trixie turned again to check the pies sitting carefully at the back of the wagon.
“They are fine, darlin’. You packed them well.”
“I know, but this is the first time in a long time I have been to a church picnic and I am really excited.”
“Dragging me out of bed well before normal to make sure we were ready even though we had over twelve hours to go. I wouldn’t call that excited.”
She smiled at him. “Well, you shouldn’t wake me up early hours of the morning for more practice. When you went back to sleep, I couldn’t.”
“So you don’t want me to do that again?”
“Now, I didn’t say that.”
Laughing, they rode into town.
Almost everyone was there. The men sat in one group talking and laughing; the women sat with babies; and the children running around playing.
Trixie sat with Maddy, Diana and Maddy’s mother.
They had already eaten their fill and were busy talking babies and husbands. Trixie looked around a few times unsure why she felt nervous. It was the fifth time she looked around that she saw someone standing in the shadows watching her. And she instantly knew who it was.
“Are you okay, Trix?” Maddy asked her.
She forced a smile on her face. “I am having a lot of fun.”
“Then how about more, darlin’?”
She looked up into Jim’s laughing eyes. “What do you have in mind?”
He winked down at her. “All I can offer you at the moment is a dance my pretty wife.”
He took her hand and led her onto the dance floor. As he took her into his arms he whispered into her ear, “But I can offer you more later.”
Her grin was one of the things he loved about her.
Robert watched them from the shadows.
“Soon, my love, you will be all mine and Frayne will be no more than a bad memory.”
He waited until Jim was on his own before starting the first part of his plan.
Trixie had had a ball. She had chatted all the way home about whom she had seen and what they had talked about. It wasn’t until she had got changed for bed that she noticed Jim's silence.
He was sat in his rocking chair looking into the fire.
“Jim, are you okay?”
“Go to bed, Trixie. I have a few things on my mind.”
“Jim, you are so quiet. Did I do something to upset you?”
“Go to bed, Trixie.”
She turned to head off to bed but then turned back.
“No, Jim. I cannot sleep thinking that you are upset with me.”
He looked up at her with fire in his eyes.
“You want to know what is wrong? Then I will tell you what is wrong, my dear wife. I had a lovely conversation with Robert Striker.”
“Robert. I saw him there hiding in the shadows.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Tell me what, Jim?”
“That you had agreed to marry him and that he was the first man you kissed. And kissed many times. You told me it was me.”
“What!”
“You heard me. How could you do that to me--to us?”
Robert stood looking around him. The darkness seemed to soothe him more than anything else could. Everyone had gone home but he made sure many had seen the angry outburst that Jim had directed towards him.
“Now for the next part.” He grinned. He chose a tree and closing his eyes ran straight into it. As blood poured from his nose and mouth he began to laugh.
The shock of what Jim said rendered Trixie speechless for a moment. And then her anger surged.
“How could you believe anything that man says to you? How dare you question my honesty? I have never lied to you and the thought that you could even harbour the thought that I had any interest in that that... Jim, how could you?”
She realised that she had been holding her hairbrush in her hand when it hit Jim sharply across the forehead.
She turned to her room. Just before she slammed the door shut she heard him say, “I cannot bear to go through it again.”
It was so soft that she barely heard it, but as she threw herself on the bed the words churned around in her brain.
She sat up and walked to the door. Jim had not even attempted to talk to her and she knew that he was not one to let things lie. She opened the door a crack and looked out.
Jim was still sitting on his rocking chair with her brush in his hand. She saw him finger the hairs in the brush and could tell by the way his shoulders were hunched that he was upset.
She walked back into the kitchen and stood before him.
“There is something I haven’t told you,” he began. “And it is one of the main reasons Striker and I have a hatred for one another.”
He took a deep breath. Trixie did not speak, she just waited.
“When I first came here I met a girl called Janie. We became really good friends. She was a real tomboy and we spent a lot of time together just riding and talking. When she got to seventeen she went away with her family to visit her grandparents. When she came back she had changed dramatically. The tomboy that left had suddenly become a beautiful and graceful young woman. And Striker noticed.”
“Even though we were unofficially courting, he hounded her until, for some reason, I think it was her parents' doing, she got engaged to him. I tried to talk to her but she distanced herself from everyone, especially me. The last time I saw her she looked like a shadow of her former self. I was on my own in one of our favourite spots and she came up on her horse. She began to cry and told me that she was pregnant and didn’t know what to tell her parents. She hadn’t told Striker and she was so scared that he would marry her right away. She told me that he scared her and she didn’t know what to do. Some of the things he said and did made her realize he was unbalanced and she knew about his mother and was scared her baby would be the same.”
“I offered to take her away and make a new life for us. She smiled and told me it would be wonderful. Then she left. I didn’t want her to go, there was something in her eyes I had never seen before. The next day they found her.”
He took another deep breath.
“They said she had fallen off her horse near the river and drowned.”
Trixie gasped.
“I knew better. The look I saw on her face that day confirmed to me later that she had reached a decision to end it all and nothing I or anyone else could have done would have prevented it. Her parents left just after the funeral and the whole thing was forgotten. But I know that Striker was responsible for her death, even though he didn’t physically drown her, he gave her no other option. Striker hates me because Janie and I had a relationship that he could only ever hope for.”
“Oh Jim, I am so sorry.”
Jim reached up and pulled her onto his lap, burying his head against her chest.
“You must have really loved her?”
Jim shook his head. “I thought I did until I met you. Now, I know what real love is. What I felt for her was just friendship. If we had married it would have been a mistake. When Maddy first told me that you were going to marry him I couldn’t let that happen. I didn’t count on ever having any feeling for another woman again. That is why I was so angry when Striker came up and spoke to me. He seemed so sure of himself and even smiled when I yelled at him. I think the crowd that formed thought I was going to hit him.”
“You didn’t, did you?”
He looked up at her and smiled slightly. “Baby, violence doesn’t solve anything.” He then looked deeply into her eyes. “I need you.”
She smiled. “I am here and not going anywhere.”
They didn’t even make it to the bedroom. The rug in front of the fire was the best they could do. Later, Jim picked up a sleepy Trixie and carried her off to bed.
Trixie and Jim were sitting outside mid afternoon when a rider appeared in the distance.
They were both surprised when Jed appeared.
They both got up to meet him as he stopped.
“Afternoon, Jed, what can we do for you?” Jim asked.
“Would you like some coffee?” Trixie offered.
Jed got off his horse and shook his head. “No, thank you, Trixie, this is official business.”
He then turned to Jim. “Jim, I need you to come into town with me.”
“Why is that?”
“There has been a complaint made about you and I need to follow it up.”
“What kind of complaint?”
“I was over at the Striker place this morning and Robert is pretty banged up.”
“What happened?”
“Apparently, you had a fight with him last night and then followed him and hit him so hard you knocked him out. His father wants to press charges.”
“What?”
“Jim, I have a few witnesses who saw you yell and threaten him last night. And the way he looks, someone did a good job on him.”
“Jed, it wasn’t me, whatever he says. Look at my hands. If I hit him that hard I would have bruised knuckles.”
“He told me that you wore gloves.”
“Jed, you can’t believe him?” Trixie gasped.
Jed shook his head. “But as sheriff I need to take your statement and we have to do that at my office. The Strikers are going to meet us there.”
“I will come now.”
“Me too.”
“No, baby.” Jim turned to her. “The cow needs milking and I don’t think I will be back in time.”
“Jim, I can’t stay here.”
He turned to Jed. “I need a couple of minutes.”
Jed nodded. “I will go and saddle your horse for you.”
Jim took her hand and led her back to the bench.
“Sweetie, this is all a misunderstanding. Do you believe me that I didn’t hit him?”
“Of course I do.”
“Then stay here, baby. I don’t want you anywhere near that madman. I will send Mart to stay with you as soon as I get into town.”
She nodded and he stood up and pulled her into his arms, kissing her soundly.
“I love you, Mrs. Frayne.”
“And I love you, too, Mr. Frayne.”
She did not let the tears flow until he had ridden away. She only went back inside when he was just a speck on the horizon.
Someone watched her go inside and grinned through the bruises.
Trixie washed the mugs, her movements automatic.
When the door opened a minute later she turned thinking that Jed had changed his mind.
She gasped as Robert walked into the room.
“Hello wife,” he told her. “Aren’t you going to welcome your husband home?”
Trixie backed up as Robert walked nearer.
Jim rode along beside Jed but his mind was on the one he left behind.
He stopped abruptly and Jed stopped beside him.
“What’s wrong, Jim?”
Jim shook his head. “I don’t know, Jed, but I have a feeling I should not have left Trix behind. Maybe I should go back and get her.”
Jed sighed. “Striker wanted me to arrest you as soon as I saw you, but I thought that it would be better if you came by yourself. If we don’t get to town soon, Striker will be angry and it will go worse for you, Jim.”
Jim sighed. “Then let’s get there as soon as possible, so we can get this dealt with.”
Trixie backed up until her legs hit Jim’s rocker. Robert smiled as he moved closer, pulling her into his arms despite her resistance.
“It’s okay to be a little scared of me. Anyone who has just been married is usually scared for the first day. But don’t worry. When I take you to our bedroom tonight I promise that I will be as gentle as I can with you.”
“Robert, what are you doing? I am not married to you. I am married to Jim.”
His arms tightened around her so that she flinched with pain.
“Never mention that man's name in front of me ever again. If you know what is good for you, Mrs. Striker, you will remember that.”
He pushed her away from him so hard that she fell into Jim’s rocking chair.
“Now, I am hungry,” he said, sitting down at the table.
Trixie sat for a moment and then stood up unsteadily. At least with him at the table, he was not touching her. If she could only keep him away from her until Jim came back. If he came back.
Trixie forced down some food, worried he would again get angry if she didn’t eat. But he didn’t seem to notice. He spoke of what he was planning to do with HIS place and what a wonderful wedding they had. Trixie remained silent, her ears listening for the sound of hoof beats. But she heard none. For over an hour Robert spoke and Trixie listened.
When he finally stopped and jumped up, she jumped up, too.
“I will get these dishes done,” she stammered.
He smiled and pulled at her hand.
“My precious wife, why do we have to wait until tonight to consummate our marriage?”
She gasped as she tried to pull away.
“Robert, no!”
“Honey, why not? We are alone, no one is coming, we can have the whole afternoon to get to know each other in every sense of the word.”
Trixie knew she had to play along.
“Wouldn’t tonight be better with candles and the sounds of the night to be with us?”
His smile unnerved her, but she knew that she had won. At least for now.
Jim paced around the tiny office as Jed sat and watched him.
“They will be here soon, Jim. Stop worrying.”
“I can’t find Mart or Brian and Striker isn’t here. Something is terribly wrong, I can feel it.”
It was just then that Mart and Brian walked in the door, followed by Mark Striker.
“Jim, we came as soon as we heard what had happened,” said Brian.
Jim nodded then turned to Mark. “Striker, this is all nonsense and you know it. Now where is your son so we can clear this up and I can get back to my wife?”
Mark Striker went to say something then stopped. Then, looking Jim straight in the eye, he said quietly. “Jim, I don’t know.”
“WHAT!”
“Now, no more stalling, honey. I have every right to demand that you fulfill your role as wife. You have been stalling me all evening.”
“Okay, Robert. There is just one more thing I need you to do and I am all yours. Can you please go and milk the cow? Otherwise, I will be worried about her all evening.”
He grinned and she shuddered inwardly.
“Okay, honey, but I can see the door from here and you had better be waiting for me when I return or I will not be very happy.”
Before she had time to move he had dragged her into his arms and kissed her soundly. Then he went outside closing the door behind her.
She wiped her mouth on the sleeve of her dress and suddenly realised what she had to do. She headed for the bathroom as quick as she could.
“What do you mean you don’t know where he is?”
Mark Striker put up his hands as if to ward off the words.
“He left before me this morning to head into town to see Brian here, but he never arrived. Maybe he has had an accident or something. My men have been looking, but can’t find him.”
Jim’s eyes widened as the thought finally hit him.
“He’s gone after my wife,” he yelled as he headed for the door.
The other men followed, leaping on their horses and following him towards his home.
“Baby, please be okay. I am coming!” Jim yelled towards the wind.
Trixie felt the dampness seep through her clothes and she began to shiver. She grabbed the base of her dress and pushed it into her mouth; frightened that her chattering teeth would give her away.
She had not heard a sound yet so she assumed he was still milking the cow.
She thought back to the morning when Jim had noticed the water wagon’s wheel was a little loose and had taken it into the barn to fix it. Trixie had followed him and she smiled as she thought about what they had done instead of fixing it. She was so grateful that the wagon was not back in place under the shower or she would not have fit inside it.
She had no idea how much time had passed since Jim had left but knew by the darkening sky that it was quite late. She was so scared that no one would come and that she would be left alone with Robert. And what if he found her?
She could not see the front door, but she heard it open when Robert walked in. He called her name. And called and called. Each time it got louder.
She cringed as she heard the sound of breaking objects-- her fear of what he would do if he found her caused her to shiver more. Tears ran down her face but she would not allow herself to sob. The noise could give her away.
Jim, please hurry. I need you, she thought.
Jim leant down closer in the saddle. He knew that it would be at least another half an hour before he could reach home. He leant closer to his horse.
“Starfire, we have to get home. Trixie is in danger.”
The horse seemed to understand and it lengthened its stride as the other horses flew behind him.
Trixie’s feet had gone to sleep and all she could do to alleviate the problem was slowly wriggle her toes. There was not one part of her body that didn’t ache or screamed to be stretched. But still she didn’t move.
Robert had walked passed her on three occasions ranting and raving and once had stopped just next to her. But he did not know of the outside door to the bathroom or the water wagon shed underneath. Robert had called and cussed her name so many times, Trixie was surprised that his voice had not gone. And she had heard so many crashes in the barn and the house that she was sure nothing remained but splinters of her furniture.
And with that thought, and despite her cramped condition, she surprisingly slept.
She awoke later to yelling and screaming, and then footsteps heading in her direction.
She shrunk back as the door to her sanctuary was slowly opened.
But the red head that appeared did not fear her.
“Come here, baby. You are safe now.”
Her movements were stiff as she crawled into his waiting arms and they both cried with relief.
“I thought I had lost you, darlin’,” he told her, covering her face with kisses.
Neither heard the yelling and screaming that continued as the last of Robert’s mind dissolved and floated away with the breeze.
Brian walked up behind them and smiled at his sister.
“You okay?” he asked.
“Stiff and sore and really cold, but apart from that I am okay.”
Jim stood up and lifted Trixie into his arms.
“We need to get you into dry clothes, baby, and into bed with something warm to drink.”
“You are all the warmth I need,” she told him and he smiled.
Ten minutes later she was tucked in bed. Brian had given her something and she felt warm and drowsy. By the time Jim came back in with some warm milk for her she was asleep.
He walked back into the kitchen, leaving the door ajar.
Brian handed him a cup of coffee and he sat at the table.
“Brian, will she be okay?”
Brian nodded. “A few scratches is all she sustained. A good night's sleep is all she needs. If you hadn’t built that shed, I don’t know what would have happened.”
“I can’t even think of that.” Jim’s eyes darkened. “I was going to kill him tonight Brian, but when I saw the craziness in his eyes I just pitied him. What will happen to him now?”
“Jed is taking him into town and locking him up under full time guard. Tomorrow they are taking him to the city. They have a hospital there that is suited for him now. I can’t ever see him getting his mind back enough to leave there ever again.”
“What happened?”
“We know so little about the mind and how it works, Jim. I know that his mother had similar problems before she killed herself. Mark was considering having her committed before she took her own life. I guess he hoped that it wasn’t hereditary but it seems to be.”
He then stood up. “I am heading home now. I want to make sure Mart and the others got Robert back safely. But we will be over tomorrow to check on you.”
At the door the men shook hands.
“Thanks, Brian.”
“Just look after my sister.”
Jim nodded. He watched as Brian rode away. He walked to the bedroom and watched her sleeping for a moment. Then he turned and sat back at the table.
Resting his head on his hands, his heart broke and he sobbed.
Trixie sat cushioned in the warmth of her family’s love. She felt safe and secure as she sat and watched Maddy, Di, and her mother-in-law bustle around the kitchen. Jim and the boys were outside checking the stock. The coffee in her hands had long gone cold but she did not notice. It was only when someone touched her hand that she looked up.
“Not thirsty, Trixie?”
“I guess my mind was on other things.” She smiled up at Jim’s mother.
Mrs. Wheeler took the coffee from her and set it on the table. Then she sat on Jim’s rocking chair.
“Anything you want to share?” she asked.
Trixie again smiled. “I was just thinking how lucky I am to have been given such a wonderful family. Losing Mum and Dad and Bobby was so hard, but now I have a wonderful new family that cares about me and I feel so blessed.”
“We are the ones who are blessed child,” she told her. “You have made my son so happy and contented for the first time in a long time and I am so grateful for that. As well as gaining another wonderful daughter.”
“Thank you.” Trixie took her hand. “I feel I am the grateful one. I have been thinking about Robert and I feel so sorry for him. Life must have treated him so hard to make him lose his mind like that. If only we could have helped him.”
“Trixie, you are too generous. I am afraid that if I had gotten here before Jim, I would have ripped him limb from limb. No one hurts my family like that.”
Trixie was surprised by the anger in her voice and the fire in her eyes. She had always thought that she was such a gentle spirit.
“Beware the sleeping tiger.” Trixie grinned.
Mrs. Wheeler grinned back. “Grrrr. Don’t touch my little cubs.”
Laughter filled the room as the men walked in and enveloped them in the joy.
Jim’s eyes found Trixie’s the instant he came in and saw peace in hers. He sighed thankfully.
“So do we men get fed?” Brian asked.
Trixie grinned. “It would have been done sooner if they had let me help too.”
“Now, Trix,” chided Brian, “I told them to let you rest for the day. You had quite a day yesterday and need your rest.”
“Yes, Doctor.”
Jim walked over and picked her up into his arms.
“Jim, the table is only a couple of feet away.”
“Give me the chance to look after my wife,” he told her, his eyes locking with hers.
And the world around them disappeared for them until they heard a not too discreet cough.
“Shall we save some for you or are you planning to stop mooning and join us.”
Trixie laughed as Jim gently put her down.
“Mart, are you ever not hungry?”
“Never,” Di moaned.
They all laughed.
“Betrayed by my own wife,” he grumbled and she reached over and kissed him on the cheek.
“I was always taught to tell the truth, my love.”
Trixie had never enjoyed an afternoon so much. She was so sad to see them all go but as she stood next to Jim to wave them off she felt loved and safe.
When they could not wave anymore Jim picked her up and took her into the house.
It was getting dark and they were both tired so he headed straight for the bedroom. But it was a long time before they were ready to sleep.
A few weeks later Jim ran into the house his face alight.
“Darlin’, guess what?”
“Whatever it is, you are happy about it.”
“When I was in the fields Mr. Hawkins stopped by. He has decided to sell up and move East and he has offered it to me. He told me Clem Brennan’s boy is looking for a patch of land to move into when he marries next month and Mr. Hawkins told me I should get a good price. So, darlin’, I can finally achieve my dreams of being the best horse breeder out West.”
He spun her around and she felt sick and dizzy for a moment.
“Aren’t you happy, darlin’?”
She smiled up at him. “Jim, it is the best news I have had for such a long time and I know that together we can fulfill all your dreams.”
The kiss he gave her shook her to her very foundations and again she felt a little dizzy.
Later, after Jim had gone, she felt the room spin and had to sit down.
Her mind ran over her mental arithmetic and she smiled.
Maybe we will be taking more with us than we know, she thought as she placed her hand gently on her stomach. She would not tell Jim yet-- she had to be sure.
As she closed her eyes and dreamed, two small hearts continued their strong and steady beats.
The room was in darkness but he didn’t care. He liked the dark, feeling safe and comforted by it. But he couldn’t erase the memory of her face.
“Oh my love,” he spoke out aloud. “They took me away from you but I will try and get back to you as soon as I can. And then finally you will be mine.”
An orderly heard his laugh and shuddered at the unholy sound. He hurried past.
The End for now
Wanted to add more but also wanted to finish it before I fly.
Thank you, Niki for being the most wonderful editor.
And hugs to all of you for reading.
Don’t worry. Will not leave it there. More will follow in July.
hugsA tribute to a brave little girl. C.J. You are a wonder. Many hugs being sent to you dear little girl.
[Chapter 10] was a hard chapter to write. I hope it all comes off okay and you can understand where I am coming from.