*All ages
Honey’s Heart
by Cilla
"Oh, Trix, I don’t think that I can do it by myself!" exclaimed Honey in a worried voice.
"Why? You know that you are in high demand as a babysitter for miles around here, and you have never had any problems before," reassured Honey’s best friend Trixie Belden. "What is so different about this job? If you can handle my little brother Bobby Belden you can handle whatever any kid throws your way," she added with a smile.
Fifteen-year-old Honey Wheeler, who was the same age as Trixie, had been a "poor little rich girl" until she moved into the Manor House near the Belden’s comfortable home at Crabapple Farm. She and her adopted brother Jim were part of a semi-secret club, the Bob-Whites of the Glen. The club included Trixie, Trixie’s brothers Brian and Mart, Diana Lynch, and Dan Mangan. The Bob-White’s worked hard to support good causes, and the members had to earn the money that they contributed to the club. Honey was patient and gentle, and was well loved as a babysitter in the local area. She contributed her earnings to the club even though her father was wealthy. Trixie and Honey planned to open a detective agency someday, but for right now something else was on Honey’s mind.
"Brian suggested my name as a potential babysitter for the family that just moved into the old Foster place down the road. The parents are both doctors, and they have four children. He met the dad, Dr. Kelly, at Sleepyside Hospital a couple weeks ago when he was doing his pre-med practicum there. The youngest child, Angelique, just turned three. Her mom and dad want me to be available to baby-sit so that they can go out once a month for a parents' night out away from the kids. The problem is, Angelique has some medical problems that I am not sure I can handle. If it was Brian, or even you …but I don’t think I can do it!"
Trixie looked at her friend in surprise. "Why Honey, you know that even though you used to be pretty timid when we first met you are able to do just about anything you put your mind to," Trixie said proudly. Her friend Honey used to be pretty much a "scaredy cat" when they had first met, but Honey had proved to be strong and courageous. Still, Honey lacked self-confidence at times.
Honey told her friend about Angelique. Angelique had been born with a congenital problem known as Pierre Robin syndrome. Although Angelique was cute as a button and most people never noticed anything different about her at first, Angelique's lower jaw was too short. This had caused her tongue to attach abnormally in the back of her throat, and pre-natally had pulled her tongue up, causing her palate to not close properly. She had had feeding and breathing difficulties from the start, and at five weeks had had a feeding tube placed and then a tracheostomy. Two attempts had been made to close her palate surgically, but they had failed.
"Trixie, I met Angelique, and at first I felt really sorry for her. Her mom showed me inside her mouth, and when I looked shocked, she reminded me that even though there was a gap in the roof of Angelique’s mouth, it wasn’t painful to her. It wasn’t like she had been hurt there – she had never had anything there to begin with. The feeding tube isn’t such a big deal – it is just a small plastic button thing on her tummy. It kind of looks like a soda can’s pop-top lid. Angelique can eat almost everything by mouth now (she was scarfing down chips and dip when I met her) but she still has the feeding button to give her extra nourishment to help her fight infection, and to help keep her well hydrated. The hard part for me is the tracheostomy. " Honey paused. "If I babysit her I need to go to Sleepyside Hospital for special CPR training so that I could do CPR with a trach. I also need to learn how to suction Angelique with a small, portable suction machine whenever she can’t cough and clear her own airway. I know I can learn those things. Even Angelique’s ten-year old sister can suction her and she does a very professional job at it. The big thing is that I have to be able to change out her trach tube in an urgent or an emergency situation, and I don’t think I can do it. I look at the little hole in Angelique’s neck, and don’t think that I can bring myself to pull the plastic trach tube out and put a new one in. You know how I have always been pretty squeamish about wounds and stuff. I would much rather leave that kind of thing to our most-capable Brian!"
"Brian must have thought that you could do it if he recommended you to the Kelly family," Trixie responded. "I think I would have a hard time myself doing something like that, but you shouldn’t give up without even trying."
"Well, I guess I could go spend some more time with Angelique and her family, but I don’t think that I will ever be able to take care of her by myself. After all, her folks are doctors so it must be easy for them. Still, her mom did say that at first it was hard for her and her husband to get used to doing medical techniques that were new to them, and doing them on their own child. Angelique’s mom told me that there are parents all over the world right now taking care of their children with feeding tubes and tracheostomies. Some of the kids are even on ventilators. Most of these parents had no more medical experience than I do and just had to learn whatever it took to take care of their children. I do know a lot of sign language, and Angelique uses sign to help her communicate. I could at least practice signing with her. Her mom says she has a special valve that goes over her tracheostomy to help her talk with her trach, but that Angelique can’t wear it all the time, and still signs some like she had to when she was younger and was pretty much mute. I’ll do my best, Trixie, but I still feel that Brian has over-estimated my abilities when it comes to this, " Honey said with a sigh.
Over the next few weeks Honey spent a lot of her spare time over at the Kellys'. The older children loved having her around, and Angelique got really attached to her. Honey learned to suction Angelique with a catheter, a thin plastic tube that went into the opening of Angelique’s trach. By spending time with Angelique, Honey learned when to suction, and learned that she could suction safely by never inserting the catheter past a certain number written on it. "Why, this isn’t that bad," she thought. She learned to "tube" Angelique by snapping a long plastic tube into the "pop-top" opening of Angelique’s button, and letting formula run in from a large syringe. It only took a couple of seconds, and pretty soon Honey could have done it in her sleep. She went to Sleepyside Hospital for the trach training course offered for family members and other caregivers. There she learned to use an "Ambu bag" to blow air into the trach of a CPR training doll, and it really was almost easier than regular CPR. Honey practiced changing out tracheostomy tubes on a trached doll, and it seemed easy, but she was scared to death of having to do it for real on Angelique. She decided that maybe she would just never try it. After all, she could still play with Angelique and take care of her as long as there was a fully trached-trained person in the house as well.
Honey often took Angelique around the Wheeler grounds, with Angelique’s part-time nurse accompanying them for safety. Angelique could even go to the stables where it was pretty dusty, and could wade in very shallow water as long as she had on a filter over her trach, which would filter out a lot of the dust and would prevent water from rushing into her trach if she accidentally went under the water. She could not get her neck wet though because water could still seep into her airway around the surgical hole, or "stoma" where the trach tube was inserted. Honey learned that she had to carry Angelique’s "to go" bag around everywhere she went with the little girl. The bag contained several trachs, an Ambu bag, and other medical supplies. She also had to take the portable suction machine, which Honey didn’t think deserved the name "portable" after carrying the five-pound machine around after a while!
Honey found out that Angelique was a dynamite dancer, and even owned a small pair of cowgirl boots, which she loved to put on to dance in. With the permission of the other BWG’s, Honey made Angelique the little mascot of the club, and made her a small red jacket with "BWG" embroidered on it. Honey told the club members that Angelique would probably be even wilder and crazier than Trixie when Angelique grew up, but the other BWG’s didn’t think that could ever be possible!
The moment of truth finally arrived for Honey when Angelique’s mom said, "Now all you have to do is change out Angelique’s trach, and then you will be able to take care of her by yourself. We will let you do this several different times so you can feel comfortable with it. I will show you how it is done, and then you can come back another day to try it by yourself."
Angelique lay down on her changing table, with a blanket propped under her shoulders. Her mom unfastened the Velcro trach ties, slipped the trach out of her neck, and in a flash, reinserted a clean trach into the stoma. She made it look so easy. Honey felt a bit queasy when she saw the stoma, but Angelique’s mom assured her that it didn’t hurt Angelique anymore since she had had it for almost three years. "It is well-healed, and it isn’t really much different than having a hole in your ear for your earring! Of course, if you don’t do it right you can hurt her some…" Honey was very concerned about that, and lay awake that night worrying about what would happen the next day. Maybe she should just tell Angelique’s parents that it had been a big mistake and that she wasn’t able to do it. She fell into a troubled sleep.
In the afternoon of the next day, Honey made her way to the Kellys' house. She had butterflies in her stomach. She thought that probably medical students felt the same way when they went to their first surgery, hoping they wouldn’t embarrass themselves by fainting in the OR or something. I don’t know how Brian gets the courage to learn to deal with all this kind of thing, she thought. Give me a bad guy, even with a gun, anyday!
Honey’s hands were shaking when she got Angelique ready for the trach change. It had seemed so easy on that trach doll, but this was real person. Angelique’s mom talked her through it, and Angelique smiled up trustingly at Honey.
"I really think that Angelique would try to change her trach herself if she could, since she is now in that independent ‘terrible three-I can do it myself stage," laughed Dr. Kelly. "I will talk you through it."
Honey undid the trach ties and taking a deep breath she removed the trach. The stoma looked awfully small, and she was afraid she would hurt Angelique, but Dr. Kelly said, "Just wait for her to take a breath, and rock the trach in and down when the stoma opens up a little." Honey waited, saw an opportunity and it was in! It was over, and now she felt like she could do anything.
"That’s kind of how you feel as a med student when you do your first procedure on a live patient after all those years of book-learning, or how you feel when you pick up the phone for the first time in internship and answer as 'Dr.'." Dr. Kelly smiled. "You will get that same rush, I am sure, when you and your friend Trixie open that detective agency of yours and take your first official case!"
All the way home, Honey couldn’t help smiling to herself. She had overcome her fears and learned a new valuable skill. Only her affection for Angelique, and the support of her friends would have been enough to make her try something new and scary.
That night, Brian came home from college for the weekend. She had called him up earlier in the day and had left an excited message on his answering machine telling him that she was now fully trach trained.and could take care of Angelique all by herself. Brian took her to a nice restaurant. During dessert, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box. "Open it Honey," he urged.
When she opened it, there on the red velvet lining lay a beautiful golden heart necklace. "Oh, Brian, it’s beautiful, but what is the occasion? It isn’t my birthday or anything!"
Brian smiled. "Honey, you are as beautiful inside as you are outside. I have always loved your kind and gentle ways. This locket is to remind you that you are strong as well, and it is to remind you that you can overcome any obstacles that come your way because love can overcome fear." He grinned again, and said, "You would make a great nurse or doctor! Sure you don’t want to work with me, rather than with my lovable but mystery-prone sister Trixie?"
Honey gave him a hug and said, "I’ll leave the medical side of things for you, but I think you and I do make a great team, don’t we?" Brian kissed her affectionately on the cheek and they left for home, holding hands as they walked out of the restaurant into the warm night air.
The End