All standard disclaimers apply…and this is kind of the conclusion…but not really. I explain a little more (but probably still vaguely) at the end of these parts. J

Part VIII

Linnie smiled happily to herself as she maneuvered Lucinda McCrae’s Jeep along the rocky road towards her tiny house. After the last few days she had needed a spiritual refueling. Though arduous and time consuming, the drive to Laurel to attend Church had been well worth the effort.

To be back among her childhood neighbors was nice, but to be amid those who had the same perspective on life as she was wonderful. It helped her to forget the stress and craziness of the week past.

"Well, not all the craziness," she thought to herself. There was still Mart Belden. No matter what she did, she couldn’t put him out of her mind.

From her shock at seeing him in the school gym on Wednesday to his surprise visit yesterday -- he hadn’t been far from her thoughts.

It had been pleasant yesterday afternoon as they had talked and drank "cold" chocolate. She had been surprised to learn that he, too, was a teacher. When he’d offered to read over her students’ writing, she had been thrilled. They had spent a companionable couple of hours grading. The dark shadow had returned only once more to Mart’s countenance when he’d suddenly exclaimed, "I could never have done this with Diana!"

Quickly Linnie had changed the subject. For some reason, she had thought of the cave -- Bob-White Cave. She had never been back since the summer of the Bob-Whites' visit. Once she had left for Point Lookout her visits home had been brief and busy. However, the years had not dimmed the memories of the beautiful cave.

The topic shift had worked and Mart had looked at her incredulously. "Are you a mind reader? I came over here to ask you if you wanted to check out the cave with me," he’d responded.

By the time he had left that evening all of her grading was finished and Mart had given her an idea for a new writing activity. He had also gotten her to agree to meet him at the lodge around 2:30 the next afternoon for the excursion to the cave. He'd been correct -- she did need to have some fun. Lesson planning could wait until Sunday evening.

As she pulled into the shed behind the cottage, she realized how excited she was to go see the cave. Or was the excitement caused by the promise of spending an afternoon with Mart Belden? She pushed that thought away and hurried inside.

Moments later she had changed from her dress to jeans and a sweatshirt and was on her way back out the door. She didn’t bother to stop for lunch. Mart had said that they would grab something to eat at the lodge before heading across the lake. She hoped it would be more than a snack -- she hadn’t eaten since dinner the night before, as was usual on the first Sunday of the month, and she was starving.

*     *      *

"No boat? What do you mean there’s no boat?" Mart raged at his uncle. He knew that he was being irrational and shouldn’t get so upset over such a trivial matter, but lately the trivial matters were what sent him over the edge.

Andy eyed him coolly from his seat by the fireplace. "What I mean is – there is no boat. I sold it years ago. There might be an old raft or something down there, but I don’t know how seaworthy it would be."

"How can you call this a fishing lodge when you don’t even have a boat?" Mart responded disgustedly.

Ignoring his last remark, Andy asked his nephew, "What’s this sudden need for a boat? Going to sail away from your troubles?"

"Actually we, er, that is, I, wanted to go over and see Bob-White Cave this afternoon."

Andy hadn’t missed the ‘we’ Mart had started with.

"We? Who’s going with you?" Then Andy’s face brightened, "Is Linnie going over with you?"

Not sure why he suddenly felt embarrassed and about thirteen years old, Mart nodded, "Yeah, yesterday we talked about the cave and she mentioned that she had never been back over there since that summer. Also, she’s stressed about doing report cards and stuff, so I thought this would be a nice break…" Mart’s voice trailed off as he asked himself why he felt funny about doing something with Linnie? It wasn’t like it was a date.

Andy bit his tongue. He’d been about to ask Mart if this was a date, but decided that he didn’t want to rile him up again -- Linnie didn’t need to see that. Instead he asked, "When should she be here?"

"When she gets back from church in Laurel," Mart replied, "in about…" he muttered something intelligible as he glanced at the clock on the mantle. Running up the stairs, pulling his shirt over his head on the way to the shower he tossed back "Ten minutes!"

Andy now allowed himself to smile at his nephew’s retreating back. He realized that Mart’s frustration about the lack of a boat was different from his usual anger at the world. Usually he blamed the anger on the belief that because his future hadn’t turned out as he’d had it planned for the last decade, nothing else would ever be right for him again. This excursion also explained the pot of stew that had been simmering on the stove when Andy had arrived back from town at seven that morning.

As Andy reached for the phone he hummed an old Garth Brooks song. While waiting for the phone to be picked up on the other end, he muttered, "Wish I could learn to live again as easily as he’ll be able to."

 

 

Part IX

"I’m not sure if we’ll find anything to row across the lake in or not," Mart explained to Linnie with a scowl. "Andy sold his boat awhile back."

"Don’t worry about it, Mart," Linnie replied quickly, "we can always go another day." To steer the conversation to a more positive topic, she said, "That stew was delicious. I can’t believe that you made it."

"What?" He asked, feigning hurt.

"Oh, I didn’t mean it like that…it’s just that before, well, you were more inclined to eat than to cook."

Laughing, Mart, paused along the trail, "You are so right! However, when I got to college I learned rather quickly that if I wanted to eat I had to learn how to cook ‘cause fast food wipes out the grocery budget faster than you can eat it!"

Linnie laughed and nodded in agreement, "The cold hard realities of 'real life' are so depressing."

Moments later they arrived at the lodge’s small dock – empty as Andy had said. However, they weren’t the only ones approaching the dock. Arriving by water was Young Bill Hawkins. He secured a small rowboat to the dock and hopped ashore.

"Afternoon Miss Moore, Mr. Belden. Here’s a boat that you can use."

Mart looked quizzically at the boy and asked, "How on earth did you know that we needed a boat?"

"Mr. Andy called Pa a time ago and asked if you could borrow one of our boats for the afternoon. We don’t use them much on Sunday afternoons, so it was no problem at all to bring one on over."

"Thank you Young Bill and tell your pa thanks," Linnie said quickly.

"Sure thing. See you tomorrow at school, Miss Moore."

Watching the boy head up the hillside, Mart shook his head. "That Andy. I should’ve guessed by his almost cheerful grin that he was up to something!"

Carefully he helped Linnie into the boat and then untied it. Picking up the oars, he began to row toward the other side of the lake. For a time, they rowed along in silence. Then unconsciously Linnie began to hum.

"What song is that?" Mart asked curiously after a few minutes.

Startled, Linnie asked, "What song?"

"Um, the one that you were humming."

"I was humming? I’m sorry." Linnie blushed. She had quickly gotten used to her solitary life since returning to the Ozarks. She often hummed the same song because it made her feel not so alone.

"I liked the tune," Mart said softly, "are there words?"

"Yeah, there are words," she murmured, "it's just a song from church that reminds me that no matter what, I’m not alone here by myself."

"Sing it, please," he asked, remembering her sweet singing voice from years before.

After a brief hesitation, she began,

 

"Here’s a little song
To help you get along.
It will see you through
When you’re feeling blue…"

 

As she sang, Mart stopped rowing and focused on the words of the song. It seemed to him that he didn’t breathe until the last line of the song hung over them,

 

"You’re not alone."

 

The last note drifted off in to the cold blue November sky and Mart’s focus shifted from the song to the singer. Linnie quickly grew uncomfortable under his gaze. Finally he spoke,

"Thank you. Thank you for that song."

"What do you mean?" That hadn’t been the response that she had expected.

Instead of answering, Mart began to row again. He didn’t speak until they beached the boat and they both stood on the shore in front of the cave entrance.

"I’m not sure how to explain what that song just did to me," Mart began, "but it, it…" For one of the few times in his life Mart Johnson Belden was at a loss for words.

"Comfort?" Linnie whispered.

"Yes, it gives me some comfort. How did you know?"

With a sigh, Linnie plopped down on a large boulder. She squinted up at Mart in the late afternoon sunlight, trying to decided if she should tell him or not. Should she tell him about the loneliness that had once consumed her? And how, for the longest time, she had felt so different and out of place when she had left the protection of the mountains that she had wanted to bury herself away from everything?

Shrugging she said, "We all have our times of feeling alone and disconnected from the human race. During one such time for myself, I heard this song and I felt comforted and I felt some hope once more. It started a huge period of change in my life."

"You actually felt that way?" Mart looked at her unbelievingly.

A short laugh escaped her lips. Quickly she said, "I am human." Putting an end to further discussion, she rose quickly from her stone seat. "Well, we’re here and it’s not going to stay light forever. Let’s go check out the cave."

Mart nodded. One lesson he had learned in recent years was to not push the conversation when the other participant obviously didn’t want to continue it. He had Trixie to thank for that. He went back to the boat and grabbed an old knapsack. Linnie looked at him questioningly.

"Carbide lamps," he answered. "I found them along with all of the rest of the spelunking equipment we got years ago down in lodge’s cellar."

Handing one lamp to Linnie, he plopped the other on to his own head. He then produced a strong flashlight. "Ready?"

"Yep."

The entrance was still partially hidden behind a curtain of vines, though at this time of year the vines were mostly leafless and didn’t obscure much.

It took just a few short minutes to prepare the carbide lamps and then Mart led the way into the cave. The piles of rocks and sticks that he remembered climbing over were no longer blocking the entryway. Maybe life, too, was going to lose some of its obstacles.

 

Part X

The memory of Linnie’s smile and laughter walked up the stairs with Mart that evening. Not only had he had an enjoyable day, he and Andy had also watched a movie. For once neither had irritated the other. It was the most time they had spent in each other’s presence since Mart had moved to the lodge.

Andy had gone to bed shortly after dinner, but Mart had stayed up watching TV.

When he walked through his bedroom door and caught sight of the picture of Diana that he still kept by his bed, it was as if he’d been kicked in the stomach. The bits of Linnie’s presence that had kept happiness in his heart throughout the evening vanished. The horrible darkness that he had thought he was winning out over, rushed back in waves.

Mart knew what he needed to do. He knew, without a doubt, the source of his depression and unhappiness.

He forced himself to walk over to the window and open it completely. Then he reached for the frame on the bedside table.

With tears streaming down his face, he looked at the face that had once represented everything to him and now was the definition of betrayal.

"Diana, you said that Ben was what made you happy -- and that you hoped hat I would be happy some day, too. Well, some day will never come if I keep living with you in my heart."

Before he could convince himself not to, Mart hurled the frame out the window. It soared like a Frisbee and came crashing down on the rocky hillside.

Quickly he closed the window and pulled down the blinds. In the same fog, he changed in to his pajamas and crawled into bed. Wrapping the quilts around himself tightly, he tried to stop the shaking and the tears that refused to quit.

With the throwing of Di’s picture he felt as if he’d cut all ties – physical and emotional – with her…and with his past. The two were so intertwined. What did he have left? He felt so alone.

Slowly the tears and the shaking ceased. His breathing began to even out and slow as he began to relax. His last conscious thought before sleep came was the chorus of Linnie’s song.

 

"You’re not alone."

 

 Trixie Belden Fan Fiction