*A single expletive
DISCLAIMER AND ACKNOWLEDGEMENT: I have no legal right to use these characters, but morally, they are as much mine to write about as anybody else’s, as I have loved them for many years and want only good things for them. Oh, and I don’t have permission to quote from Blink 182’s "Dammit (Growing Up)". But somehow, I don’t think they’ll find out…do you?
Letter to a Princess
by Sandra
"#$%@!" exclaimed Mart for what felt like the tenth time that evening. Who ever thought it would be so hard to write a simple letter?
"Dear Diana."
Hmm. At least I’ve got that part right. Or is it too formal? Maybe I should write ‘Di’ instead. I mean, that’s what I call her every day. ‘Dear Di". Nope. Doesn’t sound right either. He decided to continue.
"How are you?" How are you? What kind of thing is THAT to put on this type of letter? I just saw her on the bus today. She looked pretty fine to me! Mart smiled, remembering how lovely Diana Lynch looked today. She had strayed from her everyday lavender to wear a short lilac dress that accentuated her shapely figure. He had not been the only one to particularly admire her beauty that day. His smile faded to a frown as he remembered the in depth conversation Diana had shared on the bus that afternoon with his best friend Dan Mangan.
"I am fine." Fine? No, I’m not fine, thank you very much. The girl that I lo--like has someone else after her. AND that someone is my best friend. Mart screwed up the letter in disgust. How on earth could he write Diana a letter when he didn’t even know what he wanted to say?
He leaned back against his chair and placed his hands behind his head. He could remember every detail about the bus ride home. Every minute action, expression, word.
He and Dan had boarded the bus together. They were discussing the previous night’s football match, play by play. So engrossed in their conversation was Mart, he hadn’t noticed the empty seat beside Diana. But Dan had. Mart did notice the look of relief on Dan’s face as he sat down next to the girl of Mart’s dreams. That did not worry him however. Not until he saw Diana’s smile in response to a question from Dan, regarding homework. It was the smile Di usually saved for him. Up until now, he had taken for granted the fact that Diana Lynch, who most considered the prettiest girl at Sleepyside Junior-Senior High School, had special feelings for him. He had never considered why, it was just the way it was, and had been for a while. It was a natural process that had occurred in the Bob-Whites, like Trixie and Jim, and Honey and Brian.
Mart frowned, realising something was wrong with that picture. Dan. Who was there for Dan? He always seemed left out. His job assisting Mr Maypenny patrolling the Wheeler’s game preserve meant that he missed many of the Bob-Whites adventures away from Sleepyside.
A giggle brought his attention back to Di and Dan. Dan was smiling as Diana was giggling at a remark he had made.
Mart scowled. He didn’t like this one bit.
"How are you going with the English assignment, Di? Perchance I could assist you with my superior knowledge of semantics and syntax." He knew that wasn’t the best of his extensive and polysyllabic vocabulary, but it was better than anything Dan could say.
"Superior knowledge? Man, will she understand you enough to be of any help? Di, if you want any help in ordinary everyday English, I will be happy to be of service." Dan smiled at the pretty girl.
"Thanks, Dan, that would be great. There is something I am confused with. I’ll call you tonight, okay?" And there was the smile again.
Mart frowned again. He definitely didn’t like this. The bus lurched. Caught off balance, Mart fell backward and bumped a girl who looked remarkably like him, save a few inches and some blonde curls.
"Ouch! Watch it you oaf!" Trixie rubbed her stomach which had just felt the corner of her binder.
Dan and Di turned to her, full of concern.
"You okay, Trixie?"
"Here, have my seat." Dan stood up and offered motioned to the seat. Trixie smiled, thanked him, and with a dirty look at Mart, sat down. Standing next to him, Dan grinned at Mart and shrugged his shoulders. Mart wished he could wipe that smile off his face. He sighed, and looked out the window, over Diana’s and Trixie’s heads, as the scenery rushed by…
Mart shivered. He looked up at the ceiling of his bedroom, yawned and stretched. He rose out of the chair and walked over to the CD player and pressed play. He was almost deafened by the loud guitars of Blink 182, a band his mother did not particularly like for their language as much as their volume. He turned down the volume, and lay down on his bed.
"…you’ll walk by, on the arms of that guy. And I’ll smile, and you’ll wave, I’ll pretend it’s okay…"
No way was that going to happen to him. And yet, why shouldn’t it? What did he have compared to Dan? His life was so boring. He knew that girls were attracted to ‘bad boys’, and though reformed, there was still a rough edge to Dan that girls found attractive. Dan also had the long-haired grunge look without even trying, while Mart kept his hair as short as possible to avoid the blond curls genetics had unfairly given him.
He also remembered how annoyed Diana was when Dan had ignored her when he first arrived in Sleepyside.
Mart had never ignored her. He tried so hard to impress her. All of a sudden Mart worried that maybe Diana wasn't impressed with his knowledge and vocabulary. He knew that she wasn’t particularly academic, and that it bugged her. Maybe she thought he was showing off. Maybe she thought he was being patronising and condescending. Maybe she resented him for showing off. He was so sure that she admired him. But after the looks she gave Dan…
He found the remote control to his stereo and switched off the CD. He didn’t need Blink 182 talk about teenage troubles. He had enough of his own. He changed to radio, and groaned when he heard classical music wafting out of the speakers. His mother must have been using his stereo again. She often did when working upstairs. He was about to switch off the music but decided against it. He sank back into the pillows on his bed and let the beautiful melody wash over him. He recognised it from Bobby’s Fantasia video, a waltz from The Nutcracker. He closed his eyes, and imagined himself, dressed in an elegant tuxedo, waltzing around a large ballroom with a beautiful dark haired woman in silky lavender array. His fingers kept time as his daydream continued. As the waltz ended, he would take Diana into his arms and kiss her…
Mart jumped off the bed. He’d have to finish that letter. Tonight. He couldn’t wait any longer. And it had to be a letter. Mart was very confident orally when he felt he had nothing to lose. But in this case…Well, at least he could get all his feelings out in a letter.
"Dear Diana,
I hope this letter finds you well."
Na. Too formal.
"Hey Di.
You are the hottest babe around. I am crazy about you. How about you and me…"
No way! She’d laugh for sure! He felt ridiculous even writing it.
"Dearest Diana.
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways."
Hmm, not bad. But Barrett Browning did it first. I want to be original.
A knock on the door interrupted Mart’s attempt at literary greatness. Brian poked his head in.
"Mart! Phone! It’s Dan."
"Coming."
Dan. Great. Just the person he really needed to speak to. NOT. Mart reluctantly moved to the phone in the hallway. Had Di rung Dan yet? Was he ringing to tell Mart all about it?
"Hello." Mart’s voice was very flat.
"I have a question to ask you." Dan sounded nervous.
"Go ahead."
"Just remember, you’re my best friend."
Oh great. He’s reminding me about our friendship. Don’t people only do this when they have something bad to tell you? Like, confess?
"And I don’t want you to hate me."
Oh no. Him and Di. "Uh-huh"
"And I don’t want you to bash the stuffing out of me."
What’s he done? They done? " Man, get it over with."
He could hear Dan take a deep breath.
"What does your sister think of me?"
"Trixie? You want to know what Trixie thinks of you? My sister?" And Mart burst out laughing. He stopped when the other end was deathly quiet.
"Well, I don’t think it’s that funny."
"No Dan, it’s--"
"And I know nothing has happened between her and Jim, so..."
Mart interrupted him. "Dan, it’s fine. No, you’re right. It’s not funny. To be honest, I don’t know what goes on in my sister’s head. You’d be better off asking Honey or Di."
"No way man, not Di."
Mart relaxed. He sat down on the floor and stretched his long legs. "Why not?"
Dan took a while to respond, as if he was considering his answer carefully. "I saw you on the bus this afternoon. If looks could kill, I’d’ve been dead ten times over. Anyway, guys don’t ask girls these things."
Mart agreed.
Dan continued. "Besides, everyone knows she’s nuts about you. Who else would put up with your "superior knowledge" like she does? So, you don’t know about Trixie then?" Dan seemed eager to get back to the purpose for his phone call.
"Sorry, don’t know, Dan. But I wouldn’t mind either way. Look, I gotta go. Heaps of work. See ya tomorrow." And before Dan could offer a farewell, Mart had hung up the phone, and was back seated at his desk. This time, the words came easy.
"Di,
I like you.
Mart"
Why waste words on paper? He could elaborate in a way that she wouldn’t have trouble understanding face to face. He folded up the letter, placed it in an envelope, and left it on the bedside table. In a buoyant mood, he quickly prepared himself for a goodnight’s sleep. As he pulled the covers over him, his hand found the remote control which he had left on the bed. The radio was still on, playing an opera he didn’t recognise. He changed it back to CD mode. The last thing he remembered hearing before he fell asleep was "Well, I guess this is growing up."
"Well?"
"Yep. He bought it."
Diana Lynch smiled. She threw her arms around Dan Mangan, and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks, Dan. You’re the best."
He blushed. If only she knew…
The End