*an extremely brief and mild reference to sex (almost gave it a blue star!)
Author’s Note: Standard disclaimer applies here. I do not own these character, nor am I making any money off of their illegal use. However, if I did own them, I would reprint the series and commission the authors of fan-fiction on Zap’s Homepage to write new stories! J
Background: Lysistrata is a Greek comedy in which the women of the Greek city-states become fed up with their men always fighting and killing each other. Lysistrata comes up with the plan that all of the women will hole up in a temple and refuse to have anything to do with their husbands, especially marital relations, until they’ve signed a treaty ending the war.
Lysistra - Di
by Andromeda
"… the intellectual and aesthetic magnitude of Kierkegaard in relation to-- Di!"
Di couldn’t listen anymore, it had just become too much for her to bear. If only he’d try… but no, not her Mart.
Mart watched her running across the lawn. She was beautiful, her black hair streaming out behind her… I wonder what got into her? He shrugged and turned back to Tom. "Anyway, what I was saying…"
"I just can’t do it anymore! He won’t even try. It’s beneath him to see things from my point of view…" Fresh tears were running down Di’s cheeks now and Honey rushed to grab her friend a handful of tissues.
Trixie was livid. "How could he- Never mind, he’s my brother, I should know. Ugh! He makes me so mad." Honey grabbed Trixie’s hand and made her sit. "We have to do something," Trixie announced.
"Oh, Trix, I know you want to help, but what can any of us do? That’s just the way he is." She gave a small smile. "When we were younger, I always thought he was so smart and I loved that about him. Now it just hurts when he treats me like that."
Trixie nodded in agreement. "It used to be funny, but now he treats everyone as if he’s superior."
"I had noticed a change, but I didn’t know that he had started being that awful to you Di. Why didn’t you tell us sooner?"
Di shrugged and squeezed her friends’ hands. "I don’t know. I guess at first I felt inferior and then… You guys are both so happy, I didn’t want to rain on your parades."
Honey gave her a mock frown. "Well, next time, rain!" All three laughed and Trixie’s eye caught the clock on Honey’s night stand.
"Hey, if we’re still going to see the play, then we need to get going. Are you sure you’re still up to it, Di?"
"Of course! I’m not going to let Mart Belden ruin this evening for me!" Di slid off of the bed. "Dibs on the shower!"
"Do you have any idea what this is about?" Trixie whispered to Di and Honey.
Di laughed. "Trix, it’s half-hour. The audience doesn’t have to whisper right now."
"Oh," Trixie said in her normal voice. "Well, do you have any idea what it’s about?"
Di nodded. "We had to read it in my Dramatic Theory and Criticism course last semester. I think you’ll like it. Lysistrata is one of the funniest Greek comedies. The women are brilliant, and they all teach their men a lesson." She added the last with a decided sniff and settle back to read her program.
Trixie and Honey looked at one another, mimicked Di’s sniff, and also settled back to await the curtain.
Trixie, Honey, and Di’s laughter rang out through the chilly evening. They couldn’t stop giggling, even as they shivered and waited on Honey’s car heater to warm them.
"Oh, I can’t believe they did that! I don’t think any of our significant others would take kindly to being told-" Trixie’s mouth suddenly shut off and her brain began to work.
"Uh-oh. I know that look, Trixie Belden. What does it mean?"
Trixie smiled. It was a dangerous smile, a Cheshire cat smile, and one that her friends had learned to fear. "Oh, Di," she began in a sing-song voice. "I believe I have the solution to your ‘problem’."
Di smiled at Trixie as what her friend had in mind occurred to her. "Oh Trixie, I believe that I like your idea very much."
Honey was trying to concentrate on driving in the dark and it took her a minute longer to realize what the plan forming in Trixie’s mind was. She gasped in surprise. "Di! You don’t mean that you…you and Mart…"
"No! No, no, nothing like that! I’m just going to modify the plan Lysistrata came up with for our relationship, that’s all."
Trixie’s eyes twinkled as she began to expound on her plans. "So when Mart goes into his talking encyclopedia mode, Di will…"
"Walk away!"
"Start a conversation with someone else."
"Tease him and then lay him out flat!" The last comment was from Honey and as Trixie and Di continued to plan, Honey settled down to do her magical impression of the Mona Lisa. The next week is certainly going to be interesting.
The ladies sat up late that night, making plans.
"I think we should let everyone in on it…"
"Everyone?"
"Well, all of the Bob-Whites, save Mart, of course."
"Well, I know Dan will go for it, but what about Jim and Brian?"
Trixie and Honey glanced at one another and together answered, "They’ll be fine." Twin expressions of comic surprise crossed their faces. It was too much for Di, who fell onto the floor shaking with laughter.
The girls all grabbed pillows and settled down on the floor. "So we should make sure that one other Bob-White is always there with you when you are around Mart."
"Always?" Diana asked.
Honey answered her. "Well, not always, but at least for the next several days. When it has finally sunk in and/or he has learned his lesson, then we’ll make ourselves scarce while you make him grovel."
"How vicious you’ve become, Miss Wheeler!"
"Thanks. I knew rubbing elbows with all of those bad guys would do me some good someday."
Trixie grinned faintly at that remark. It was true that they’d dealt with their share of criminals, but they hadn’t had a mystery to solve in a while. And certainly nothing this exciting had occurred in ages. Oh Mart, you have met your downfall in Miss Diana Lynch!
"So tomorrow on the bus into school, we’ll get the boys to help. And we’ll all sit around you with you next to the window, and hopefully Mart on the other side of the bus." All of the girls were laughing now.
"Oh! We’d better call the boys to find out!"
"But aren’t they all spending the night at Crabapple Farm? Including Mart?" asked Diana.
Trixie jumped in. "Yes! And that’s exactly why we should call them over there. Think about it. We’ll call and talk to all the boys but him. It’s a perfect beginning!"
Diana laughed. "And we should tell them to say it was me calling, too."
Honey’s eyes widened as she clutched her stomach in laughter. "Oh Di!" she gasped. "You’re so bad!"
"I know, " said Di. " I think I’m going to like the new me. Go call the boys, Trixie!"
When the Bob-Whites were all settled on the bus the next morning, Trixie had to stifle a laugh. She avoided looking at either Honey or Di, because she new she would never be able to control her laughter if she did. Poor Mart! The boys had enthusiastically joined in to help Di teach Mart a lesson and so far it was working perfectly.
As they had all gathered in the back of the bus, they had taken turns "innocently" pushing Mart aside to talk to Di or someone else. Honey had started in when Mart had made straight for the seat Di was sitting in. She had quickly turned her back to the aisle and engaged in a conversation about their English assignment. Trixie had done her part by sitting in front of the other two girls and turning around to join the conversation. Jim had slipped into the spot next to Trixie just as Mart was trying to join her in the seat. Seeing Mart move to take the seat behind Diana and Honey, Brian and Dan quickly took up residence there. Then they began discussing the repairs the clubhouse needed and Jim joined that conversation over the heads of Honey and Di. The result was an impenetrable wall of Bob-Whites surrounding Diana.
A perplexed Mart moved towards the front of the bus to join Tad Webster. Soon the two boys were in an animated argument over something or other and the Bob-Whites relaxed their vigil - slightly.
A warm kiss on her cheek brought Trixie out of her thoughts. She smiled up at the handsome red-head next to her and slid her hand into his.
"Well, what do you think?" she asked him.
Laughter welled up in his eyes, but he managed to keep a straight face. "I think he was frustrated to no end. It’s a good start. Brilliant plan, Trix."
A flush rose up on her cheeks as it often did when she received a compliment from Jim. "Thanks, but it really wasn’t my idea. We went to the theatre to see Lysistrata last night and it sort of grew out of that. The plan was actually Di’s idea, Honey and I just helped a little."
Jim’s eyes widened in shock and his hand squeezed hers. "You went to see Lysistrata last night and this plan grew out of it?!"
Trixie laughed at his consternation. "Well we certainly aren’t following the plan exactly, Jim. Otherwise I wouldn’t be sitting here holding your hand, would I?"
Shifting uncomfortably in the bus seat, Jim replied, "Well, you never know. I mean they all teased their men unmercifully before the guys learned their lessons…"
"Honey and I aren’t stringing you along, we promise. We’re merely acting the parts to support Di. Okay?" Jim’s smile returned and she snuggled into him, with her head resting on his shoulder. He kissed the top of her head and hugged her tighter.
The rest of the week passed much the same as it had that first morning. The Bob-Whites would somehow prevent Mart from speaking to Diana on the bus, then as they got off the bus to head for classes, someone else would sweep her away.
The lunch hour was almost comically different. Mart and Diana were always maneuvered around until they were sitting together, although across the table from one another. Trixie and Jim, Honey and Brian, along with Dan and his new girlfriend, Christie, would break off into couple on either side of Mart and Di. To an observer, they would all look completely absorbed in one another. Di and Mart would also be absorbed in one another, having a perfectly normal conversation. But all of a sudden someone would turn to Di and demand to have her attention immediately. Or else Di would turn from Mart and demand someone else’s attention.
As Friday wore on, the Bob-Whites could see that Mart was frustrated, but wondered if he had noticed what they were doing and why.
Mart had noticed the Bob-Whites’ odd behavior, but hadn’t worked out what was going on yet. They all treated him completely normal and went about their daily lives like always, except when it came to Diana. They all seemed to need Diana more than normal this week.
The problem was that it was all perfectly legitimate. Whomever managed to wrest Di’s attention from him, always seemed to genuinely need her attention at that particular moment in time. And that’s why it was becoming so frustrating for Mart. He needed her attention too, but it just seemed everyone else’s needs were coming first.
Then there were the times Di would become lost in thought while he was speaking. A moment later, she would simply walk away. And she always had an explanation. Wednesday evening she even got up and walked out of a buffet dinner her parents were hosting. When he had asked her later, she had merely looked at him blankly and explained that she had left her electric curlers on.
What was a guy supposed to say to that? Mart couldn’t really reason getting mad about her trying to not burn her home down, but still…
"…so during the acclivity of the norepinephrine in the assemblage…"
Di sighed again and rubbed the ache between her eyes. It just didn’t seem to be working. He was always eager for her attention and frustrated with the competition, but he still hadn’t figured out the problem. Nor had he asked her point-blank what was going on. She didn’t think she could do this much longer and she new the others were getting worried as well.
On this cool Friday afternoon, Mart had caught her alone as they were waiting for the bus. He had been genuinely glad to have her attention all to himself and she had been glad as well. Then he had ruined it by launching into a speech about…well, about whatever it was about.
Just as Di was about to summon a blank expression and walk off, she saw Trixie and Honey approaching from behind Mart. The two girls noticed Diana’s pale and pinched face as well as the pain clearly reflected in her violet eyes. Trixie glanced at Honey and nodded in Di’s direction. Honey nodded in return.
"…cobalamin and caustic potash. Now, granophyre and louche…"
"Mart! I have to-" His most conversation with Diana interrupted again by Trixie, Mart lost his temper.
He whirled around and pinned her with his eyes. "Trixie." His voice was low and tinged with a hint of menace. "My level of ebullition at your incessant privation for Diana’s circumspection at inopportune times has-"
"Is that how you talk to the woman you claim to love, Mart?" With that, Trixie turned and walked away to sit on half wall not far away. Mart took a deep breath and turned back to Diana.
She was gone.
Mart’s shoulders slumped in defeat. He just didn’t know how to deal with this anymore. If Diana wanted to break up with him, why didn’t she just come out and say it? He loved her, but she was driving him crazy. He raked his hands through the short spiky hair on his head and spied Trixie sitting not far away. She was by herself, looking forlorn and lonely and he felt doubly bad for yelling at her.
"Hey Trix…" She lifted her head as he approached and just looked at him. Her eyes were unreadable and for some reason that made Mart nervous. "Can I sit?" Without answering verbally, Trixie slid over on the bricks to make room for him. There they sat for several minutes in uncomfortable silence.
Trixie had hoped that it wouldn’t come to this. They had agreed that if Mart cornered any of the BWG’s that said person could admit to the actions of the group, but not the reasons behind those actions. They could give tactful hints, but he had to go to Diana for the whole story. At the time, Trixie had thought it was a great idea since Honey was the logical choice. She would have been the best person for this situation, but Trixie resigned herself. She would just be as straightforward and gentle as possible. Now he just had to ask.
"I’m sorry I blasted you, Trix." Mart began strong, but then seemed to lose his resolve. Again they sat in silence. Mart began to fidget with a loose string on his backpack. Trixie gently laid a hand over his and squeezed it in comfort. That seemed to give him the courage and he started again. "I’m sorry I blasted you like that, Trixie. But I’m so frustrated, I’m about ready to scream." In answer, she squeezed his hand again. "What’s going on? You guys have been claiming all of Di’s attention this week, and then when I don’t have you to contend with, she still manages to find other places she needs to be or things she needs to do. Sometimes she just walks away…" Mart took her hand more firmly in his and looked directly into her eyes. "What’s going on, Trixie?"
Trixie readjusted herself on the wall so that she sat facing Mart and took his other hand in hers. "It’s true that we’ve been deliberately taking Di’s attention away this week. I can tell you that we did it as a favor for her, but I can’t tell you why we’ve been doing it." She continued on as he tried to protest. "The only person who can tell you is Diana. She wanted it that way, so you need to talk to her. But more importantly, you need to listen to her. Absorb what she says, process it, think about it, choose your words carefully, and then reply. Okay?"
Nodding, he looked up at her questioningly. "Can you give me any hints?"
Tactfully, tactfully… Trixie thought for a moment. "Think about the times when one of us has come and interrupted you or when Di has spaced out and walked away. Try to remember who was talking and what the conversation was about." She looked at him carefully and inwardly gave herself a wry smile. Well, that’s about all the damage I can do here. "You gonna be okay?"
Mart nodded again and Trixie could already see his little gray cells hard at work. She smiled and got up to leave him to his thoughts. Then she stopped. "Why don’t you and Diana take the second bus and go to the clubhouse to talk? The rest of us will take the early bus and I’ll let Moms know where you are. I’ll even Bobby-sit for you this afternoon."
His blond head popped up at the last suggestion. He smiled and said, "Thanks, Trix, that would be great." She began to walk away when his words stopped her. "I’m glad you’re my sister, Trixie." She turned and smiled at him again, then left to join the group of familiar red jackets already in line for the bus.
Trixie slipped in front of Jim to stand behind Diana as the bus doors opened to allow them to board. She tapped Diana on the shoulder. Diana turned to face Trixie with resignation and pain on her face. "He doesn’t care, does he?" Obviously the others had seen her talking to Mart, but they had reached the wrong conclusions.
"Wrong. He’s frustrated and upset and is waiting over there for you to talk to him. So get out of line Diana Lynch and go talk to him."
"But we’ll miss the bus."
"Nope, you guys can take the second bus home. I’m covering Bobby and you already told me that your grandparents had the twins, so there are no problems. I’ll call your house and tell Harrison the situation too. Now go." With a little push she moved Diana out of the way and the Bob-Whites quickly got onto the bus.
Diana stood and watched the bus pull out with a small forlorn look in her eyes. As it rounded the corner to leave the parking lot, they saw her slowly turn and begin walking towards Mart who was still sitting on the half wall.
"Do you think that was alright? I didn’t know what else to do!" wailed Trixie.
Jim slid a reassuring arm around her shoulders. Honey said, "I think you did a fine job, Trixie. They had to talk sometime but they certainly didn’t look eager to do so right now."
"So Mart finally broke down and asked you?" This came from Brian who had arrived as Trixie was pushing Di out of the bus line.
"Yeah. I can’t believe he asked me! I thought sure he’d ask you Honey, you’re the most tactful one."
"Well I can’t always say you’re great at it, but your tact skills…skills of tact…tactful skills…" By the time Honey broke off, Brian, Dan, Trixie, and Jim were laughing and holding their sides. Sniffing and drawing a cloak of dignity about her, Honey finished. "…have improved with age." Then she dropped the act and joined in the laughter.
Suddenly Dan asked Trixie, "Did you realize that today is Friday and the afternoon bus doesn’t run for another hour?"
With a twinkle in her eyes, Trixie answered simply. "Of course."
Dimly Mart noted the departure of the school bus, but he continued to sit, lost in thought until a pair of leather boots with short heels stopped in front of him. Mart slowly raised his head to look into Diana’s eyes. He started to stand, but she put out a hand to restrain him.
"Di, I-"
"Please let me speak first, okay? If I don’t get it all out right now, I don’t know that I ever will." Mutely Mart nodded.
Di took a deep breath and blurted out, "Martin Belden, you have a big mouth!"
Startled, Mart jumped to his own defense. "Wait a minute-"
"I said to let me get it all out!" Calming down she said, "Please let me go on. It won’t all be pretty or nice, but I need to say it." Still at a loss, Mart sat back down and waited for her to continue. "I think you are one of the smartest, funniest, and nicest guys I know. But, you have a big mouth." As he started to interrupt her again, she placed a hand over his mouth. Arching her brow, she said, "You can’t even let me get through this without interruptions. There’s your proof if you need it."
Sighing, Mart scooted to the side and indicated that Diana could sit down. She did so and then continued. "While I think you are smart, that doesn’t mean that I’m dumb or want to be made to feel dumb. And sometimes that’s exactly what you do. You use big words that only Webster and Roget themselves could understand. Sometimes it’s fun, but it gets old quickly, Mart. Especially when you use them to the extent that I can’t understand what you’re saying at all. How do you think I feel when you and one of your friends start talking in all sorts of complex words and terminology that only you understand and I am left to stand there, with a stupid, uncomprehending expression on my face?"
Mart’s eyes were wide now with realization. Trixie had said for him to think about when they were interrupted and who had been speaking about what when the incidents occurred. Now it made sense. He kept his mouth shut though and allowed her to go on. This earned him a smile from her and his heart lifted just a bit.
"Generally you’re good for me, and I like to think I’m good for you. However, recently you haven’t been good for me at all. Why do you think I ran away from you and Tom that day? It sounded like you were speaking in a foreign language and you didn’t even bother to try and include me. Nor did you come after me, then or later. That did a lot of damage as well. That says, to me, that you don’t care. I will not be made to feel stupid, inconsequential, or unworthy in this relationship, Mart." For a long moment, she stared into his eyes, as if looking for something. Then she glanced down at her hands, obviously finished for a time.
Mart’s mind was reeling from the shock of what she’d just told him. Stupid, Inconsequential and Unworthy? What had he done to her? Suddenly Mart grabbed hold of one of her hands and lifted her face. He leaned forward and kissed her firmly, but gently on the lips.
As he pulled back, he said fiercely, "Diana Lynch, I have never though of you as stupid, inconsequential, or unworthy! Never. Complex, interesting, and beautiful-yes, but not the other. Alright?" It was Diana’s turn to nod with eyes wide.
Mart looked down, uncomfortable now. He began slowly, but gained speed as he talked. "I’m so very, very sorry that I ever caused you to feel pain or sorrow, or anything like that. Honestly I am, Di. Sometimes when my friends and I do that, I just assume that you don’t care or aren’t interested. Sometimes what we’re talking about is a great deal of technical jargon for psyche. I guess I just figured you weren’t interested in that either."
Looking back up into her eyes, Mart continued, "If you will give me another chance, I will try harder to speak less technically and stop to ask if you are interested. I do like large and interesting words though, and I can’t promise to not use them."
Di jumped in at this point. "That’s not what I’m asking you to do, Mart. I’m only asking for a little more consideration on your part. You’re right, sometimes I just don’t care, for example the monologue Trixie interrupted just a bit ago. You had been going on about that nora-whatever for a good ten minutes before Trixie and Honey rushed to the rescue. Id didn’t care about what you were talking about then, but I got a lecture on it. The point is that I would like to have a say in it. And if you notice I’m upset, ask me. Part of the reason this drug on so long is because the conditions were that you had to ask me. If you’d run after me the other day and asked what was wrong, this whole week could have been a lot more pleasant for everyone concerned."
"I’ll promise to try, if you’ll promise to try and let me know when you’re upset about something. You’re right about the other day with Tom, but sometimes I just can’t read the signs, you know."
Happily, Diana nodded. "Let’s both try to communicate better."
Smiling, Mart kissed Di again. However, she quickly pulled back with a fierce expression on her face. "And that doesn’t mean in larger words." Then he mock frown melted and she drew Mart back into the kiss.
A moment later, someone discreetly cleared a throat behind Diana. Puzzled, Mart looked up and Diana twisted around to see Ruthie Kettner standing there. Ruthie flushed a little. "Ummm, I didn’t mean to interrupt or anything, but the bus driver is ready to go and wanted to know if you were riding today."
Diana laughed and jumped up to retrieve her backpack from the ground. "Thanks, Ruthie, we do appreciate it. See you in class Monday." With a wave, Diana and Mart rushed over and boarded the bus, laughing and holding hands.
The End