**I would like to seriously apologize for not posting this sooner, and for not finishing this story yet! I’ve been busy, but I love you all and this story, so I am sorry. If it has been awhile since you read Chapter 14, please re-read it, as this picks up in the middle of a scene started at the end of the previous chapter. Thank you Aurie and Anna, and thanks everyone for your patience!
CHAPTER 15
KNOCKED DOWN AND DRUG OUT.
Trixie dove towards Jim’s retreating figure, almost tackling him. He staggered forward, and then tried to free himself from the grip of the tenacious girl. "Trixie! What has gotten into you?"
Sunday night’s dream suddenly felt very real to her. "I’m not letting you go, Jim. Not this time. I don’t want to look back at this night with regret. I know you love me and you know I love you. The thought of some other girl on your porch swing makes me sick! Do you honestly want there to be a different Mr. Trixie Belden?" Then she stopped crying and started laughing loudly.
Concerned, Jim stopped trying to pull away. Trixie forgot to breathe, and leaned weakly against him, hiccuping. He put one hand into her thick hair.
"I’m sorry," she said between hiccups, "I just can’t imagine anyone calling you ‘Mr. Trixie Belden,’ even in my wildest dreams. Except maybe Mart."
"If Mart did," Jim said with a low growl, "he would be extremely sorry immediately afterwards." She was still leaning against him, acting as if she were more comfortable than a cat on your newspaper. He relaxed and wrapped his arms around her.
"Hmmmm," Trixie sighed.
"I wish I could see your face," Jim said suddenly.
Trixie wasn’t crazy about the idea of Jim seeing her face after she had been crying, but she didn’t want him to leave again. "The moon was full a few days ago," she said. "I’m brave enough to try the trestle bridge again if you are."
They walked hand in hand along the railroad ties until a moonlit Front Street was in view. Trixie sighed, "Oh, it’s so pretty."
Jim turned her toward him and tilted her chin up until the moon shone full on her face. "That’s what I wanted to see," he whispered. Jim drank in the glow of her skin in full ‘blushing Trixie’ mode, and the happy sparkle in her eyes. A shy, yet playful smile was on her lips, but an image of them blue--the same image that had made him draw away from her when they were talking about the song--crept back into his mind.
Even though his face was in darkness, Trixie could feel his whole body stiffen and knew he was frowning. Why is he still fighting this? "What is it?"
"What makes you take the risks that you do, Trixie? And why can’t I seem to take this risk?"
Realization finally dawned on her, as Trixie remembered something Dan had mentioned during their conversation in the arboretum. "You are just scared, Jim. You love someone who you feel takes too many risks with her life. You are afraid that, one of these times, I’ll get myself killed. You’re just trying to not get too attached to someone who may not be around one day. I wish I could change, and not want this dangerous job, but I can’t. Love is always a risk, Jim! I guess it’s no surprise that I am willing to take that risk, but if you can’t, well…." She could see Jim in her dream, saying: you let go. "I’m scared, too. My fear is that you won’t be happy with me, but I am more afraid that my fear will let me lose you."
"You would never lose me, Trix. Even if we weren’t together, we would still be friends."
"And that would be easier for you--to have your ‘good buddy’ Trix solving crimes?" she said, feeling her temper rise. "You wouldn’t worry then. You would have a stress-free life on your porch swing, no Trixie-induced ulcers for you!" This would have been the perfect opportunity for her to stomp away, except that he was between her and the camp.
"There is nothing easy with you, Trixie Belden," Jim snapped, "except…except that every day since I met you…well, being with you has been the most natural thing in the world. You make me feel good, about who I am and what I do and everything I want to be. But I don’t want to count on that feeling, because, if I lost you-! Trixie, I would NEVER recover from that!"
Trixie took a deep breath to calm down. Then she stood on her tiptoes and placed her hands on Jim’s hot cheeks. She said in a soft voice, "You underestimate yourself, Jim. You can do anything!"
"Oh, Trix," Jim sighed, and attempted to take a step backwards, away from her inviting posture. His foot landed between the ties, and he went down in his back.
Trixie’s head hit his chest with an "Oomph." Embarrassed, she scrambled up and asked, "Are you alright?"
"Ow!" he winced, while attempting to regain an upright position.
"Don’t move, Jim. Let me check it out." Trixie shook her head to clear the cobwebs from the first aid manual in her mind. "Tell me if this hurts." She ran her hands down his calf, gently pressing at regular intervals.
"That’s great, Trix, but it’s my ankle that is hurt. I’m sure it’s fine. I just twisted it."
Grateful again that her blush was hidden by the dark, Trixie said, "Let’s get out of here before a train comes. Can you walk on it?"
"Yes." He limped off the bridge, with Trixie close behind him.
Back at the camp, Trixie saw Brian and Honey sharing a folding lounge chair, and called out, "Hey, Doctor! We have an injury!" Brian examined his friend, while his sister and his girlfriend went in the trailer to make an ice pack. Mart and Di had been cozy in the kitchenette, but the company sent him outside.
"What happened?" asked Diana.
"Jim hurt his ankle," Honey replied.
"What were you doing?" Di wondered, and then offered, "Jim tried to break up with you and you kicked him. Or pushed him down."
Trixie had been tempted to tell everyone that Jim stepped in a gopher hole, but this line of questioning showed her that the girls would never buy that.
"Now, Di," Honey stated, "Trixie would never do anything like that. At least, not to Jim. Unless he really deserved it."
After the emotional turmoil of the evening, all Trixie wanted to do was collapse. She sank into a seat at the tiny kitchen table and laid her burning cheek against the cold Formica.
"I think you need this more than Jim does," Honey said, placing the ice pack on Trixie’s head. Diana sat on the other side of Trixie, patting her hand. They stayed like that for several minutes, until Trixie sat up.
"I just can’t let him leave, can I? If I let him go, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life. But what if he would be happier with someone else, someone who doesn’t make him worry? Am I being selfish?"
"Trixie, for Heaven’s sake, you’re 16," Di said, "You are supposed to be having fun, not worrying about who you’ll spend the rest of your life with. If it’s meant to be with Jim, well, then it will be. Don’t tie yourself in knots."
"But what if I let him go and he finds someone who is sweet and safe and he settles down with her?"
"Then you’ll find someone else," Honey said. "If Jim is willing to give up everything he has with you, just to be safe, then he gets what he deserves, and you deserve better." She rose and took the half-melted ice pack outside to the guys.
"Honey’s right, Trix," Diana said, giving Trixie a comforting squeeze. "So, what did you really do to Jim? I have to know!"
The trailer door opened and Honey returned with a half-embarrassed, half-apologetic look on her face. "Uh, bad news. The windows are open."
Trixie put her face back down on the table.
To Be Continued