*all ages

The Best-Laid Plans…

By BethAnn

The attractive brunette sat at the bar, waiting for her date to join her. She nonchalantly flipped her long hair over her shoulder, and surveyed her surroundings. The bar formed a square in the center of the room, and afforded her a perfect view of the room’s occupants. Right now the bar was two-thirds full, as couples and groups sat enjoying drinks and appetizers while waiting for tables in the restaurant portion of the popular eatery. The atmosphere was upbeat and casual, and most of the patrons were in their early twenties, as was Ashleigh herself.

While Ashleigh waited, a group of several young men seated themselves at the bar, directly across from where she sat. She glanced at them casually as they ordered their drinks, silently assessing them. Not bad. Nice eyes. Too short. Needs to lose the hat. Whoa! Ashleigh’s musings ended when she realized she knew one of the men. She quickly glanced away, hoping he wouldn’t recognize her, but it was too late. The tall redhead smiled slightly at her, then walked around the bar and seated himself next to her.

"Hey, Ashleigh," he said casually. "How’s it going?"

"It’s going just fine," she replied smoothly, "thank you for asking." Like you care, she added silently. "How are you?" she asked, hoping against hope that David would show up soon, and save her from this awkward exchange.

The redhead smiled. "I’m okay. Significantly better than the last time I saw you."

Ashleigh blinked her dark brown eyes, surprised that he would mention that night. She certainly wouldn’t have. Their one-and-only date had hardly been an unqualified success, and she had not been at all surprised when she hadn’t heard from him afterwards. Seeing him tonight, she had expected either avoidance or polite small talk, ending with "Well, it was nice seeing you." But that was not what he was saying at all.

"I really wanted to apologize for how things went on our date. I realize I wasn’t fair to you, and I would like to make it up to you," he said, and he sounded sincere.

"Why?" Ashleigh queried.

"Why do I want to make it up to you?"

"That, and why weren’t you fair to me on our date?"

The redheaded man sighed. "It’s kind of complicated. Maybe it just comes down to the fact that our date, that you, were not what I expected."

Ashleigh rolled her eyes. "Sorry to disappoint you. If I was such a dud, why bother making it up to me? Just cut your losses and be done with it."

"That’s just it; you didn’t disappoint me. I had a good time, in spite of myself." The young man clutched his hair with his hands, then turned to look at her. "Look, it’s a long story, but just suffice it to say that I went on that date fully expecting not to have a good time. When I found that I did enjoy being with you, it threw me. I behaved badly, and I’m sorry for that."

Ashleigh considered his words. She had to admit she was intrigued by what he said. It almost made sense. She reached out and touched his wrist.

"Apology accepted," she said simply, and grinned at his look of relief.

"Will you let me make it up to you?" he asked, probing her brown eyes with his green ones.

Ashleigh hesitated. She was intrigued by him, even interested in him, but… "I’ll tell you what," she said finally. "Let me think about it for awhile. If I feel like giving this another try, I will definitely let you know. Fair enough?"

The redhead smiled. "I guess so. Thanks Ashleigh."

She smiled at him. "There’s just one more thing," she said, not taking her eyes from his.

"What’s that?" he asked, with a hint of teasing in his voice.

"I need your number. Otherwise it will be much more difficult to let you know what I decide."

The man grinned, and hastily scribbled his phone number on a cocktail napkin. When he had returned to his friends, Ashleigh looked at the number before tucking the napkin in her purse. Welcome back, Jim Frayne, she thought, and shivered delightedly.

 "Oh, Di, it looks great in here!" enthused Trixie Belden, her blue eyes shining.

"Do you really think so?" asked Diana. "Mummy left the entire party up to me, and I want it to be perfect."

"It is, Di, it’s perfectly perfect! Why, just look at it!"

The two girls surveyed the living room of the Lynch mansion, which had taken on the appearance of a Parisian market. The Lynch’s furniture, rugs, and artwork had been removed from the room for the party. Unframed sketches and watercolors, most of them done by Di herself, now hung from the walls as if for sale. On the other side of the room, near the verandah, small bistro tables and chairs were arranged to resemble a sidewalk café. A large flower cart, filled with chrysanthemums, irises, and tulips, dominated the center of the large room, while another vendor’s cart, this one for refreshments, was set up near the café-area.

"Di, if I didn’t know better, I would swear I was in Paris!" enthused Trixie. "This party is going to be such a hit!"

"Thanks, Trixie," smiled Di. "I’m hoping it will be. I’ve been planning this for so long, it doesn’t seem possible that this weekend is really here."

"I know what you mean," agreed Trixie. "I remember how upset we all were when they closed the Cameo; it seemed like part of Sleepyside had died. Who would have known that just over a year later, it would be reopening as an art-house theatre? It sure was great of your father to find the investors to start it up again."

Diana smiled. "Daddy just hated the idea of that beautiful old building possibly being torn down. It wasn’t too difficult for him to convince some of his friends from the preservation society to make the needed investment. I just hope the theatre succeeds."

"Well, they certainly are off to a good start," assured Trixie. "The entire engagement of An American in Paris is sold out; the boys are even coming home for tomorrow night’s premiere. Sleepyside is really excited about this."

At that moment the two girls were interrupted by Harrison, the Lynches' efficient butler.

"Excuse me, Miss Diana," he intoned. "There is a phone call for you in the library."

"Oh, I’ll bet it’s Mart, letting me know what time he’ll be in tomorrow," Diana exclaimed, her eyes shining. "Trixie, could you finish up with the flower cart? I’ll be right back."

"Sure, Di," agreed Trixie, smiling at her friend’s enthusiasm. Diana and Mart make such a cute couple, she thought, as she started arranging some hyacinths in the flower cart. She had finished her task before Diana returned.

"Gleeps, Di, I thought you had forgotten about me," she teased, then noticed the worried look on Di’s face. "What’s wrong Di? Isn’t Mart coming tomorrow?"

"Oh, no, he’s still coming," Di rushed. "Everything is fine, really, I…Trix, when did you last talk to Jim?"

"Jim?" Trixie furrowed her brow, confused at Di’s line of questioning. "I guess it was a few weeks ago. Why?"

"Well, when you talk to him, do you ever talk about…about the dating plan?"

"Umm, kind of," Trixie began, trying to remember what she and Jim had discussed in their last conversation that could be causing this concern on Di’s part. "I kind of laid down the law a couple of months ago, and told him that the plan wouldn’t be of much use if he didn’t actually date other people. I think he’s finally realized I’m serious about it."

Trixie said with a small smile. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Well, I was just curious," Di began. "You know Mart works at TGIFriday’s right?" Seeing Trixie nod, she continued. "Well, last week he wasn’t working there one night, but his friend was, and his friend knows all of Mart’s friends, of course, from when they have worked together, and of course Mart has talked about everyone, so Todd, that’s his friend, kind of knows all of us, and…"

"Wait!" Trixie held her hands up to her ears. "Di, take a deep breath, slow down, and please get to the point! You’re not making any sense."

"Oh," Di giggled nervously. "Sorry. Anyway, Todd was working last week, and Jim came in with some of his friends."

Trixie’s heart had started racing by now. She wasn’t sure she wanted to hear the rest, but she had to know. "And?" she prodded Di.

"And, Todd said he saw Jim talking to a girl named Ashleigh," Di began.

"Oh, that must have been Ashleigh Seaburg," Trixie interrupted, the relief in her voice quite evident. "Jim did tell me he had a blind date with her last month. I think it’s only natural that he would talk to her."

"Well, yes, I suppose so," said Di. "I just wanted to be sure you heard it from a friend first, you know, since you’ll be seeing Jim tomorrow night at the party and everything. It’s probably no big deal, but Todd said he saw Jim give Ashleigh his phone number."

Trixie’s heart hit her stomach with a thud. "He gave her his number?" she asked, stunned at her reaction to Di’s innocent remark.

"Oh, Trixie, I’m sorry," Diana wailed. "You are upset by this; I can tell. Look, it’s probably no big deal. I’m sure Jim is just doing what you wanted him to; that this is all just part of the dating plan…"

"Dating plan!" Trixie snorted. "I don’t want to hear any more about the dating plan!" she exploded, then, in a quieter tone, added, "I hate the dating plan."

I miss the arms that used to hold me
The tender way we used to kiss
I miss the way that you touch me
I miss the sweet taste of your lips

Trixie lay across her bed, staring miserably at the floor. There was a dull pain in her stomach, and her head was throbbing. She needed to stop thinking, but she couldn’t help it; ever since Di had told her about Ashleigh that afternoon she had been feeling more and more dejected. Regrets, recriminations, and might-have-beens flooded through her as she thought about her relationship with Jim or, rather, her lack of a relationship with Jim. Seven months ago it had seemed like such a good idea; if she and Jim dated other people for awhile, then they could be sure that they belonged together. The dating plan would merely delay the start of their "official" relationship, and what could be the harm in that? Jim had been his usual stubborn self, but she remained strong. Either he went along with the dating plan, or all bets were off.

Trixie rolled onto her back and studied the ceiling. She thought back to the day she had "hatched" her dating plan. She had gone for an early morning ride, and was grooming Susie when Jim found her in the stables.

That had been seven months ago. Now, in her bedroom, Jim’s words haunted her. Was this plan really that bad? It sounded so good at the time! Maybe he just wants me to admit I was wrong. If I call him and say it was a mistake, then we can start over again. Trixie cheered up visibly. That was it! She would call him, admit her mistake, and then they could start over. He was planning to come back to Sleepyside tomorrow afternoon anyway. They could have their "first date" tomorrow night. The newly restored Cameo would play host to their newly restored relationship. It would be perfectly perfect! She rushed to the phone and punched in the familiar number. Her heart began to race as she waited to hear Jim’s voice.

"Hello?"

"Oh, Ned," Trixie said, trying to ignore the sudden feeling of dread that had washed over her. "Is Jim there? It’s Trixie."

"Hey, Trix, I’m sorry, but you just missed him…"

"Oh, well…" Trixie paused. He’s out with her. "I guess…" ASK him! "Umm…did he say where he was going?"

Ned paused. "We-ell, not really…" he stammered, not wanting to hurt Trixie.

"He’s out with Ashleigh, isn’t he?" Trixie asked in a dull voice.

Ned sighed. "Yeah, he is." He paused again. "I’m sorry, Trix, I don’t know what to say."

"No, you don’t have to say anything, Ned. I’m glad you told me. I…I guess I knew, I just needed to hear it," she said. "Me and my brilliant ideas, huh?"

There was silence on the other end of the line.

"Trix, can I be honest with you?" asked Ned.

"Of course, Ned! What is it?"

"Well, I’ve been on the outside looking in for this whole plan of yours. I wanted to say something to you, but didn’t really feel it was my place. But now…Trix, I just want you to understand what this plan did to him."

"Gave him a whole new set of friends, it looks like," said Trixie sarcastically.

"No, that’s not what I meant. This plan of yours, this dating plan, well, it was just all wrong."

"Yeah, I’ve heard that before," replied Trixie, thinking of the numerous lectures on the subject Mart and Diana, and even Honey had given her.

"Well, you should have listened," snapped Ned. "Trix, I don’t think you have ever thought of this from Jim’s perspective. He loved you, Trix, and he tried in every way he knew to show you that, and you rejected him."

"But I didn’t reject him, Ned!" cried Trixie. "I was just putting this on hold! I just wanted him to be sure!"

"He was sure, Trixie! It’s you who wasn’t!"

"Me?" Trixie snorted. "That’s crazy, Ned! I had dated lots of other people, and I knew Jim was the one I wanted, but that wouldn’t do me any good if he didn’t know that I was the one he wanted! We would have started dating, and then he would have met someone new, and he would have dumped me!"

"So you wanted to beat him to the punch?"

Ned’s words stopped Trixie cold. Is that what I was doing? Hurting Jim before he could hurt me?

"Look, Trix," Ned said gently, "it just sounds to me like this whole plan sprang from some insecurity on your part. You just admitted you were afraid he would dump you."

"Well, yeah, "Trixie replied meekly. "Could you blame him? I’m not exactly supermodel material here."

"Yeah, and no one is going to confuse me with Tom Cruise, either," quipped Ned. "That’s not the point. Jim isn’t looking for a supermodel, Trix. He’s looking for someone who makes him happy, someone he can have fun with, someone he can trust. He thought he had that. Then you came up with that ridiculous plan, and he started questioning everything."

"Oh, Ned. I had no idea!" moaned Trixie. "I honestly didn’t think I would hurt him with this."

"Trix, I know you aren’t the kind of person who hurts others for sport. But from what I’ve observed of your relationship with Jim, I think you have always been scared to death of losing him. So scared that you convinced yourself that it was better not to begin, than to have to face losing him."

Trixie sniffed. "How did you know all this stuff, Ned? I certainly didn’t realize what I was doing."

"I was a neutral third party, Trix; it was easier for me to see what was happening, because I didn’t have a personal stake in any of it." He sighed. "Trix, you and Jim are two of my favorite people in the world. I want to see both of you happy. I still hope you can work everything out."

"Oh, Ned, do you really think there is a chance of that?" breathed Trixie.

Ned hesitated. "I honestly don’t know, Trix. Jim is hurting right now, I know that. But he’s cared about you for a long time. Maybe he would be willing to start fresh. But, Trixie, I want you to do something for me."

"Anything, Ned."

"Before you say anything to Jim, I want you to think long and hard about your feelings for him. If you aren’t ready to take a chance with him, then be honest, and tell him that. He deserves the truth. Just don’t lead him on. He’s not as strong as you think he is."

Trixie blinked back hot tears. I’ve messed it all up so badly! How can Jim ever forgive me? "I’ll do that Ned; I’ll really think this time, before I do anything." She sniffled, and hung up the phone after saying good-bye to Ned.

Trixie walked to her CD collection, looking for something more cheerful. I have been a terrible fool. This whole mess is my fault! She thought back over the entire course of her relationship with Jim. So many times they had been on the verge of really starting something, and it had never materialized. She had secretly blamed him, thinking that if he had really wanted her, he would have come right out and said something, or done something about it long ago.

Ned’s words haunted her now. "He loved you, Trix, and he tried in every way he knew to show you that, and you rejected him."

She thought back to their trip to Iowa and the ID bracelet he had given her then.

"You know what it means, don’t you?" Jim asked.

"Tell me," Trixie answered.

"It means you’re my special girl, Trixie," Jim said. "As if you didn’t know that already."

She had been so happy then. She had held Jim’s hand on the whole flight home, dreaming happy dreams of what the future could hold. But what had she done when the plane landed?

But the time had never seemed right to approach Jim about that awful moment, and eventually their friendship was just as comfortable as it had always been. Honey and Di occasionally teased her about it, but Jim never mentioned the bracelet again. Memories of that moment haunted Trixie after that; she could never think of it again without recalling the tortured look in Jim’s eyes.

Lynch mansion
Following evening

Trixie sat at a small bistro table, pushing the food on her plate around with her fork. The evening had been an unqualified success. The Cameo had never looked better. The preservation group that had purchased it had painstakingly restored the theater to its original 1930’s splendor, and the appreciative town of Sleepyside was determined to make the art-house theater a success. Now all the volunteers and donors were celebrating with the party at the Lynch’s. Diana was glowing; the party she had worked so hard on was in full bloom, and she had received her due praise as the mastermind behind the clever theme and decorations. All the Bob-Whites were together, and the evening was like a joyful reunion, for all but Trixie and Jim. Outwardly, they were cordial, and the casual observer would probably not have noticed anything amiss. But Trixie felt the change in his attitude intensely.

At previous parties and events that the Bob-Whites attended, there had been a sort of unspoken agreement between Jim and Trixie. Whether they had been officially a couple or not, it was just kind of understood that the two of them were together, and they usually spent most of the evening with each other, laughing and joking, and just enjoying each other’s company.

Tonight Jim had been polite when he first saw her. He had asked how her classes were going. He had complimented her on the decorating she and Diana had done. He had asked if she’d enjoyed the movie. But the usual ease and friendliness that had characterized their interactions from the time they had met was gone. He treats me exactly like he would treat any of his parents' friends, thought Trixie bitterly. She had never realized before just how often Jim did show her how he felt, through a wink, or a special look, or a reassuring squeeze of her hand.

Now as she observed Jim talking and joking with Dan and Mart on the other side of the room, she longed for those days. She wished she could go over there, and join in on their conversation. She wished she could go over there and take Jim’s hand, show him how she felt about him. Would she ever have a chance to do that again? She sighed noisily. No time like the present. She pushed her chair back, deposited her napkin on top of the plate, and smoothed back her unruly curls. She slowly walked across the room, and squeezed in between Dan and Mart, so she was standing directly across from Jim.

"Hey, little sister," Mart greeted her, and tugged at one of her curls. "Where have you been all night? In the food line?"

"Don’t be silly, brother dear," Trixie replied automatically. "If I had been in the food line you couldn’t have helped but see me, since I’m sure you’ve been there all night long."

"Touché, Mart," Dan grinned. "As a matter of fact, Trixie, we were just going to head over there again. He can’t get enough of the crêpes Suzette."

Trixie smiled. "I think that’s why Di put them on the menu," she said, not taking her eyes off of Jim. Surprisingly, he didn’t leave with Mart and Dan, but merely smiled at her.

"Jim, can I talk to you?" she blurted.

Jim shrugged. "Sure, Trixie. You can always talk to me. What is it?"

Trixie looked around frantically for a private place. She grabbed Jim’s hand and led him out to the verandah, closing the French doors behind them.

"Jim, I know about Ashleigh," she began.

Jim stiffened, and started getting defensive. "I wasn’t trying to hide her from you."

"I know, I know," Trixie said. "I really had this coming. Believe me, I know that. And I’m not mad at you."

"How reassuring," Jim said stiffly.

Trixie sighed. This was off to a horrible start. "Jim, when I first came up with the dating plan, I really did consider the fact that I might get jealous. I just never thought that it would feel so…so…so final. I guess I just never thought, period. I’m sorry for the whole thing. I want you to know that it was never about you—I realize now that it was all my fault. I was scared, and I was stupid, and I’m sorry."

"Apology accepted," said Jim with a casual shrug. "Thanks for telling me that. I appreciate it," he said, and turned to leave.

"Jim," Trixie cried, and he turned back to her. "Would you…would you maybe go out with me, like, on a date, tomorrow night?" she blurted, holding her breath for his response.

Jim stepped towards Trixie, and his hand reached out to stroke her cheek gently as he looked into her anxious blue eyes. His fingers found her curls, and he tugged one in the gesture he had used so often in the past.

"No…" he said quietly. "But ask me again sometime, okay?"

Trixie gulped and nodded, and her eyes filled with tears as Jim went back to the party, leaving her alone to face the knowledge that "sometime" would never come.

"Trixie? Trixie?"

Trixie Belden sat up with a start. She looked around the room, trying to figure out exactly where she was, and what she was doing there. Slowly her eyes focused on the entertainment center, where Sipowicz and Sorenson were interrogating a suspect on NYPD Blue. She turned to the voice, and saw Jim Frayne looking at her with a mixture of amusement and concern.

"Are you okay, Trix? I think you were having a bad dream."

Suddenly Trixie remembered everything from that awful dream. Without thinking, she punched Jim in the arm.

"Owww!" he protested, rubbing the bicep where her fist had connected. "What was that for?"

"That was for saying no," Trixie replied, and then laughed at his confused face. "I’m sorry Jim, I guess I was having trouble sorting out reality from fiction." She glanced at the television. "Oh, no, I missed Sports Night!" she cried. "What happened?"

Jim shrugged. "The Dating Plan kind of blew up in Dana’s face. Casey is now dating Pixley, and Dana’s jealous. She asked him out, but he said no."

Trixie gasped, knowing now where her bizarre dream had come from. She giggled, and told Jim about it.

"Oh, Jim, it was just awful, standing there, hearing you reject me, and knowing it was all my fault!" she said as she concluded her description.

Jim smiled at her, and brushed her curls back from her face. "I don’t think you ever need to worry about that, Miss Belden," he said, and kissed her gently.

"But, Jim, you don’t, I mean, do you think…"

"Yes?" he questioned, amused.

"Well, you and I. We’ve never dated other people really, or anything like that. You don’t think that’s bad, do you?"

Jim sobered. "No, I personally don’t, in this case. What we have feels right. Do you think it is bad?"

Trixie shook her head. "I’ve never wanted to date anyone else. I can’t imagine being this happy with anyone else," she said, and blushed at how much she had revealed. She usually tried to act more casual with Jim.

Jim reached out and lifted her chin with a single finger. "I’m glad you’re happy, Trix," he said quietly. "I don’t want to date anyone else, either. You’re my special girl. You always have been," he said, and kissed her again.

Trixie sighed, letting Jim’s words and kisses envelop her. I’m his special girl. Special girl. Special girl! She pushed him away from her, and looked earnestly into his green eyes. "Oh, Jim, I am so sorry about that!" she cried.

"You’re sorry you’re my special girl?" Jim asked, utterly confused.

"No! I’m sorry I wasn’t your special girl! Or, that I said I wasn’t! Or that I didn’t say I was!" she cried.

Jim shook his head. "Sorry, Trix, I don’t know what you’re talking about."

Trixie took a deep breath. "Remember when you gave me the ID bracelet?" she asked.

"Sure I do," said Jim. That’s why I used the ‘special girl’ line again. I thought you knew that."

"I do, but it reminded me of what happened after that, when we got off the plane, and Honey asked me about it."

Jim looked away, but not before Trixie saw a flicker of pain cross his face at that memory.

"Oh, Jim, I am so sorry!" she cried. "I never should have said what I did then. I was so proud to be your girl, but when Honey asked me about it, and Mart and Brian were there, I just panicked, and got all flustered, and I said the wrong thing. I hurt you, and I am so sorry about that."

Jim shook his head. "Trix, you don’t need to apologize. I’m the one who should be apologizing. I had no business trying to get so serious when you were so young. It was all my fault."

"No, it wasn’t Jim. I acted without thinking then, which is pretty normal for me, but what was really awful is that I never tried to explain it to you before now."

"Well, I wasn’t exactly beating down your door trying to straighten things out, was I?" Jim smiled ruefully. "That was a long time ago, Trix. We were both very young, and bound to make mistakes."

"That’s sweet, Jim, that you don’t blame me for it."

Jim took both of her hands in his. "Trixie, we’re going to make mistakes along the way. That’s part of any relationship. I don’t ever want to get in a pattern of blaming you, or of you blaming me. If we have problems, or issues, I want us to be able to be honest about them, and work out the solutions together."

Trixie’s eyes glistened. "Oh, Jim, I want that too!"

Jim reached out and brushed an errant curl away from her cheek. He let his hand slide to the back of her neck, and slowly pulled her towards him. His lips brushed lightly against hers, before moving to her cheekbones, and then her temples. He kissed her lips once again before pulling away and smiling into her large blue eyes.

"I think it’s time to take you home, Shamus," he said huskily. "You have school tomorrow."

"Don’t remind me," Trixie groaned. "Just because you get to take it easy for a month, interning at the elementary school."

Jim chuckled. "Remember, I’m observing the class that Bobby, Larry, and Terry are in. How easy could that be?"

Trixie giggled. "You have a point there."

"Besides," Jim added, standing up and pulling Trixie to her feet, "this J-term gives me a chance to spend more time with you. You don’t think that’s a bad thing, do you?" he teased, while his green eyes sparkled at her.

"No, I don’t," she said, and smiled back at him.

"Then let’s get you home, Miss Belden," he said, and squeezed her hand, then led her to the foyer to collect their jackets.

Trixie sighed as they walked out the door into the cold, clear night. The moon was shining brightly, and the snow along the path leading to Crabapple Farm shone silvery-blue in its reflected light.

Such a beautiful night, she thought. The air was cold on her cheeks, and Jim’s hand was warm in hers. She could never predict what life would hold for them, and right now she didn’t even want to. It was enough just to be together, just to have this night, just to be alive, and young, and falling in love.

THE END

Additional note: An explanation of the J-term that Jim referred to. I have Jim attending a fictional college. At this college they have two semesters, and a one-month term in between them, during the month of January (thus the "J"). My college did not have this set-up, but I had friends who attended colleges that did. It is basically used by students for a short, "fun" class, or internship opportunity. A nice change of pace in the cold, dreary month of January. Jim is using his J-term to do a teaching internship/observation at Sleepyside elementary, which explains why he is home watching TV with Trixie on a Tuesday night.

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