Jim was engrossed in writing something when Trixie quietly opened the clubhouse door. She hated to disturb him but she knew this couldn’t wait.

"Hello Jim," she said, her voice sounding loud in the stillness, dust motes dancing in the sun streaks that lit up the room.

Jim dropped his pen, startled.

"Sorry," Trixie went on, shutting the door behind her. She stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, shifting from one foot to the other, wishing for Honey’s tact or Mart’s gift with words. "How are you?" she finally managed, scratching a mosquito bite above her left elbow. This is going just great, she thought miserably. Jim looked at her, and he looked so sad that she forgot her discomfort, her heart going out to him.

"How’s your mom?" he asked, picking up the pen and clicking it open and close rapidly.

Trixie sat across from him with a sigh. "She’s pretty sick from the chemo," she replied.

Jim flinched. "Trix, I’m sorry," he said intensely, gripping the pen so tightly his knuckles turned white. Trixie knew he meant for everything.

"I know," she said simply. She laid her hand on top of his. "And I think I know why you haven’t…been by," she concluded.

Jim said miserably, "I wanted to, God knows I wanted to. I just couldn’t, I couldn’t…" he bit his lip, staring at the table. "You must be so disappointed in me." He turned his hand over and gripped Trixie’s hand. "I haven’t been a good friend, have I?"

Trixie squeezed his hand back. "I haven’t been a good friend either. Instead of calling you to find out what was wrong, I just stewed and thought you didn’t care. I should have realized how you were feeling."

Jim shook his head. "You couldn’t have known. It’s not your fault. And anyway, you had enough on your mind."

Trixie nodded. "I guess we’re even."

"Tell me how you’ve been; how you’ve really been, Trix," Jim said, eager to make up for his absence.

Trixie talked for a long while, telling him how scared she was, how hard it was seeing her mother lie in bed, the long sleepless nights wondering what was in the future…

"Moms has an appointment tomorrow to see if the treatment is working. I don’t know what I’ll do if the news isn’t good," Trixie finished, burying her face in her hands.

"The news will be good. The news has to be good," Jim said passionately. Trixie laid her head on his shoulder and they sat quietly for a few moments. It felt so good to talk to Jim about the past month. Even though she had poured her heart out to Honey, Di and Dan the past weeks, she hadn’t realized how much she needed to tell Jim how she was feeling.

She lifted her head. "I’m still scared, but I sure feel a lot better. Thanks Jim. It really helps being able to talk about it." She was relieved to feel that the hard coating on her heart had broken up, allowing her to breathe again.

"I know. When my mom was sick, I had no one to talk to. Jonesy avoided me like the plague; not that I really wanted to talk to him about anything anyway. She just got sicker and weaker and then one day…" Jim’s voice broke. Trixie put her arms around him and hugged him close. "I came home from school and she was gone. Jonesy just looked at me in disgust and said something like, guess you’re left on my hands." He stood up and paced the room restlessly.

Trixie was horrified. "Oh my God, Jim. That’s how he told you?"

Jim closed his eyes and nodded. "I guess I went a little crazy. I started smashing stuff, lamps, knick-knacks…the next thing I knew I was on the floor. I’m not sure how long."

"He…hit you?"

"The first of many times. Before Mom died he mostly avoided me, but after…he truly hated me Trix. I had to…I couldn’t afford to sit around feeling sad about her. I had to stay numb and…survive. I thought if I can just hang on until I can go to college…well, you know the rest. I ran away 2 years later and here I am." Jim attempted a wry smile.

"I guess not thinking about your mom became a habit." Trixie mused. "Is that why you’ve never talked to any of us about her?"

"It hurts so much. After all this time, I can’t believe how much it still does. When Brian told us about your mom, I guess I was just completely overwhelmed. He looked at Trixie. "I’m sorry. You’re worried to death and I’m just going on and on."

Trixie shook her head. "You don’t have to be sorry. You have nothing to be sorry about," she said passionately. "Remember, we’re supposed to be all for one and one for all."

Jim smiled. "A guy can’t lose with friends like you," he said shakily.

"Well, you’re stuck with me, Jim Frayne!" Trixie replied lightly, standing up from the table. She felt overwhelmed with emotion and could no longer sit still.

"Thank God," Jim replied quietly, standing in front of her. He took both her hands in his and pulled her forward gently. Trixie’s breath caught at the expression on his face, his green eyes the most tender she had ever seen them. He bent his head and kissed her softly on the lips, their first kiss, a moment Trixie had fantasized about for so long that she’d given up on its ever happening…"I’ve been wanting to do that for a long, long time," Jim said, smiling a little.

Trixie grinned back. "Me too!" she admitted shyly, her heart still beating fast.

"Can we go see your mom?" Jim asked.

Trixie smiled with happiness. "Oh yes. I know she’d love to see you. Let’s go see her right now!" she tugged his hands towards the door like an eager child. Jim smiled at her impulsiveness—it was one of the things he liked best about her. He allowed her to lead him down the path towards Crabapple Farm, the sun shining so brightly through the crispy leaves gently fluttering down that, for a moment, it felt like a ticker tape parade.

"Why doesn’t Dad call?" Trixie moaned, wringing her hands.

"It’s still too early," Brian replied, pacing the living room restlessly. The Bob Whites had gathered at the farm, anxiously waiting for the results of Mrs. Belden’s tests. Even Reddy, the Belden’s slightly wild Irish Setter, seemed impatient, running from person to person and sticking his damp nose in their hands.

"Why can’t we go to the hospital? I want to be with Moms," Bobby said plaintively, kneeling down and hugging the dog around the neck. Reddy responded by licking his favorite Belden on the face.

"Moms needs peace and quiet right now; it’s better this way," Mart responded, privately wishing the same thing.

Although it was a stunningly beautiful day, the group waited in the Belden’s cozy living room, wanting to be by the phone when it rang.

Dan started cracking his knuckles one by one until Di cried, "Oh that noise just grosses me out!" Everyone laughed and the tension was temporarily relieved.

Trixie was glad that her friends were around her, keeping her from going completely crazy. She let her gaze travel around the room, lighting on each of them. First Honey, her best friend—it was hard to believe that that they had been friends for only 3 years. She couldn’t imagine her life without her. She remembered the skinny pale girl Honey had been when she first came to Sleepyside, so shy, nervous and timid. You would never use those words to describe her now. Beautiful Diana Lynch, desperately lonely and unhappy before joining the club. She too had come out of her shell and was the acknowledged "social butterfly" of the group. Dan Mangan, a sullen and rebellious exterior melting away, leaving behind an intelligent, thoughtful person with big dreams for the future. Trixie could hardly believe the change sometimes. The power of friendship—it’s an amazing thing she thought to herself. She laughed to see him slyly lean towards Di, cracking his knuckle in her ear when her head was turned. She finally looked at Jim, talking quietly with Brian by the fireplace and felt her face grow warm, remembering yesterday. She felt a small shoot of happiness break up her fear and welcomed the feeling. Whatever else happens, I am so lucky to have friends like this. She thought simply.

Jim walked over to her then and took her hand. "How you holding up?" he asked. His voice calmed her, made her feel like she could bear what was happening.

Trixie breathed deeply. "I’m just glad you’re here, " she replied. "I’m glad you’re all here." She addressed the group.

"We wouldn’t be anywhere else," Dan replied. Honey and Di nodded in agreement, coming to stand by her. Trixie smiled at her friends, her eyes tearing up. "Thanks," she said simply. They all jumped as the phone rang. Trixie gripped Jim’s hand tightly as her knees gave way slightly, her heart in her mouth.

The group waited tensely as Brian picked up the phone. "Dad?" he said into the receiver. Trixie held her breath. Please God, please God, please God she chanted to herself. She felt hot and cold all over.

Brian listened for a moment, his face still with concentration. He closed his eyes and Trixie felt as if she could hardly stand up. "They’re sure?" he asked. "Hold on." He put down the phone. "There’s absolutely no sign of any abnormalities. The cancer is gone!" he shouted, picking up Bobby and swinging him around and around as if her were six years old again. "She’s okay, she’s okay!" he sang out, his eyes looking happy again for the first time in weeks.

Complete bedlam ensued as the room erupted in cheers. Trixie found herself crushed between Jim, Honey and Mart in a frenzied group hug, not caring that she could hardly breathe. Dan and Di danced wildly around the room, whooping and laughing. Relief flooded over Trixie in great waves, making her head spin with joy. The happy chaos continued until Dan accidentally knocked over the lamp.

"…I mean shoot!" he yelped. Trixie laughed until tears streamed down her cheeks, sinking down to the floor helplessly, then found she couldn’t stop crying, nor did she care. Mart sank down beside her, hugging his "almost-twin" tightly. "It’s okay, it’s okay," he repeated. "I know, I’m just so happy," she gulped, closing her eyes. Can you die of happiness? She wondered.

They each took turns talking to Mr. Belden, hearing over and over again the thankful news. Even though Mrs. Belden would have to be tested every month for awhile, it looked as if the worst was over.

"Let’s fix a celebration dinner for Moms!" Trixie cried, feeling as if she could cook for a thousand people. Mart and Di set the table, Jim and Dan drove over the Mr. Lytell’s store for ice cream, Brian made a huge salad and Trixie shaped hamburgers as fast as she could, handing them to Honey to cook on the stove. "Make tons—I’m starved!" Mart said, poking his head in the kitchen.

"Don’t worry, we are!" Honey replied as the platter of burgers grew.

"I’m just glad I made those pies last night. I couldn’t sleep anyway," Trixie said, waving a hand towards the two apple pies on the counter.

"Oh Trix! You should have called me," Honey said, smiling at her best friend. Then she whispered, "and I have the feeling you had something important to tell me." Her voice was full of meaning.

Trixie flushed. "Uh, I’ll tell you later when we can be alone," she mumbled, wondering how on earth Honey knew. Sometimes her best friend seemed almost psychic.

It was a happy group that welcomed Mr. and Mrs. Belden home later, ushering them into the dining room with a flourish. Mrs. Belden was clearly touched at the effort they had made. "You kids!" she said, her eyes shining in her thin face, hugging each of them in turn. When she reached Jim she touched his face and said, "See? I told you the world is full of happy endings too!" He hugged her and said huskily, "You sure did."

Later that evening, alone in her bedroom, Trixie knelt by her bed, folding her hands together. "Thank you, God," she whispered.

It was that time of year when Fall starts losing its battle with Winter, the air sharper, the days shorter. But Winter brings its own raw beauty, and the changing seasons remind us that life is ever-changing, never static, fluid.

The Bob White station wagon was making good time. Jim took the I-490 exit and said, "It’s not much further now."

"I don’t know how you keep all these interstates straight. This has got to be the 5^th one we’ve gotten on," Trixie replied

"Sixth and last," Jim said, glancing sideways at her. He was glad she was there.

They drove on in comfortable silence, Trixie humming along with the song on the radio. "I’m glad Moms and Dad let me come," she commented, looking at Jim’s profile, secretly enjoying the line of his jaw.

Jim grinned. "You’re mom was all for it. Your Dad didn’t say anything, but he gave me this look."

Trixie laughed; she knew that look. "He’s just looking out for my best interests!" she teased. A daughter’s first boyfriend is not an easy rite-of-passage for any father, but Mr. Belden was doing his best, even though he did comment that perhaps it was time that they change the locks, shouldn’t a homeowner do that every once in awhile?

"If I had a daughter that looked like you, I’d do more than give some guy a look, I’ll tell you that!" Jim teased back. He was amazed that he could feel so happy, especially considering where they were headed. The day he had feared and dreaded was turning out to be the most natural thing in the world.

Trixie blushed; she loved how special Jim made her feel. "I guess my Dad’s just more evolved than you are!" she said, scooting closer so that her leg brushed up against Jim’s.

"Here we are," Jim said, taking a deep breath, turning the car into a parking lot and shutting off the engine. Trixie squeezed his hand reassuringly. They got out of the car and walked into the little office. After obtaining a map and buying a potted planet, they made their way down the path, searching. Trixie’s sharp eyes spotted it first. "There," she said softly. The pair stopped, and Jim set the planet down carefully. "Katje Vanderheiden Frayne," Trixie read aloud. She was glad that Jonesy’s name was not there. "That was the one battle I ever won with Jonesy," Jim said as if reading her mind. "There was no way I was going to let that man’s name be on my mother’s gravestone. It’s the one time in my life I was glad he was so cheap. It would have cost to add his name," Jim’s mouth twisted in disgust. "My parents paid for these plots long before she ever met him," he explained.

Trixie shook her head; it never ceased to amaze her what a hideous excuse of a human being Jim’s stepfather as.

"I was so afraid to come here. I’m not sure why," Jim said, staring at the grave thoughtfully. He took a deep breath. "I’m glad I did." A feeling of peace, of closure, washed through him. He could think of his mother without the accompanying stab of pain. "I should have done this long ago."

"You weren’t ready then," Trixie said simply. The wind picked up, whistling mournfully through the trees. Trixie shivered, wondering why wind in a graveyard always seems colder than wind anywhere else.

Jim smiled and put his arm around her. "Cold?" he asked.

"Just a little. We don’t have to leave yet," she added as Jim started leading her away.

"I’ve done what I wanted to do, Trixie. I wanted my mom to meet my…you."

"Show me where you grew up Jim. Show me everything," Trixie said, longing to know everything about the tall man walking besides her. She never felt closer to him than she did right then.

Jim grinned at her. "Hoping to find some mysterious checkered past, huh?" he joked, secretly pleased in her interest.

"Yeah, things have gotten pretty quiet lately. You know I can’t handle not having a mystery to investigate. I get cranky!" Trixie sparred.

Jim opened the car door with a flourish. "All right schoolgirl shamus, I’ll see what I can dig up for you," he said, kissing her on the cheek as she got in.

He walked around to his side, suddenly whistling. The wind died down with a sigh, the air suddenly warmer. Sometimes Fall surprises us, making a comeback when we least expect it.

Author’s note:

• 175,000 women will develop breast cancer this year

• 3000 women will die of breast cancer this year

Because 70% of breast cancer cases occur in women who have no identifiable risk factors, self-exams and mammograms are important for all women.

Please take care of yourselves!!!!

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