*a single expletive
To all the corporate big wigs at Golden: these characters aren’t mine, but I’m not making any money off them, so nick off and leave me alone.
Don’t Wait
By Sandra
"Oh wow! Flowers, for me!" Honey exclaimed, as she took the flowers from the delivery man standing at her front door. In a daze, she thanked him and closed the door. "Who on earth would send me flowers?" she asked no one in particular. Her heart started beating. Who were they from? Were they from Brian? Did he care after all? Lately she had begun to wonder where they stood. She had always liked him, her best friend’s older brother. He was everything that she wanted in a guy: mature, responsible, sensitive, well, everything!
Honey made her way into the kitchen, hiding behind the flowers. As she looked for a vase, her face grew warm as she thought of what she could say to thank Brian. She couldn’t believe he would send her flowers. He had barely noticed she was alive lately. Yes, she knew that he was studying very hard, but so was Jim. At least he still had time to catch up with his friends every now and then. Anyway, this made up for it. At least she knew he cared. Why did he send them anyway? Maybe the card would tell her.
Honey,
Hope you’re feeling better soon. Keep smiling.
Love, Dan.
Dan. DAN!!! What was he doing sending her flowers? Honey dropped the card. Suddenly feeling nauseous again, she sank into a kitchen chair. Oh my God, Dan! Her head started spinning. She folded her arms on the table and rested her head in them.
Breathe in…breathe out…relax Honey, it’s not a problem, it doesn’t mean anything. Dan’s just a friend. He knows you like Brian. He probably knew you were feeling sick, so he thought he’d cheer you up.
Honey smiled. That’s it. She raised her head, and looked at the large bunch of flowers again. That’s right. Dan knows that I have no feelings for him. He can’t be expecting anything from me. He’s just being nice. With a satisfied sigh, she found a vase, and busied herself with arranging the flowers in them. I’ll just thank him tomorrow when I see him, and that’s it. Then her heart sank. Tomorrow, on the bus. With Brian.
Darn it! Why couldn’t Brian have sent her those flowers? What was it going to take for Brian to show his feelings for her? If he had any feelings…
The happiness that Honey had felt from her short lived resolution vanished in an instant. She wondered, what did Brian feel towards her? Did he care for her? Even just a little? Was he just shy? Or too dumb like her brother Jim? She and Trixie would laugh about Jim, Trixie having confided in Honey her feelings for Jim. Everyone knew anyway that they had "special feelings". Trixie actually didn’t mind waiting for Jim to do something, anything that would save her from making the first move.
But Honey had been hesitant to share her feelings about Brian. It was more difficult, because it wasn’t as obvious what Brian felt. Oh yeah, there had been the times he chose to sit next to her at the movies, or on long trips, or how he always asked her for the last dance whenever there was a school dance on. But Brian had given even less of an indication of his feelings than Jim had with Trixie. And THAT was bad.
Honey smiled as she recalled the last dance the Bob Whites had gone to. She had really enjoyed herself that night. She and Brian had danced together much of the night. Honey’s heart skipped a beat as she remembered dancing the last dance with Brian. How she lay her head on his shoulders, and he stroked her long hair. She had thought then that he must have felt something for her.
But why hadn’t he said anything yet?
The fragrant scent of lilies brought Honey back to reality. That reality being Dan. She had better thank him. Shaking, nervous, and wishing she was doing anything else Honey walked to the phone. As she dialed Dan's number, she turned around and faced the flowers, which were now standing proudly in a vase on the kitchen table.
"Hello?" It was Mr Maypenny.
Honey breathed a sigh of relief. At least she didn’t have to speak to him. Yet.
"Hi Mr Maypenny. It’s Honey Wheeler here. Could I please speak to Dan?"
"Sorry dear, Dan’s out patrolling the preserve at the moment. Can I take a message for you?"
"Yes, please, could you tell him thank you, and…um…just thank you?" Honey was not usually so tongue tied. She was about to add "and that I’ll see him tomorrow", when she realised that it may give him a false sense of hope. She was relieved when Mr. Maypenny didn’t question her.
"Certainly, Honey. I trust you’re feeling better?"
"A little bit, thanks Mr. Maypenny," Honey said. She was now looking for an excuse to get off the phone. This could get awkward. "I better let you go, Mr. Maypenny. Thank you for passing on the message."
"Not a problem, dear. Goodbye." As she heard the click on the line, Honey felt guilty for hurrying the phone call. She really liked Mr. Maypenny, and felt that she had been a bit rude. Oh well, I’m sick. Let him think that’s the reason. Her heart dropped as she looked at the flowers again. What was she going to do? She shrugged her shoulders, grabbed the vase, and headed to her room.
Honey closed the door to her bedroom with a sigh of relief. At least she didn’t see anyone, and have to explain. Oh, explaining wouldn’t be the problem. It would be the comments.
"Oooh, Honey, flowers from a boy."
"How romantic!"
Those comments she could do without. If they had been from Brian, now that would be a different story.
It wasn’t that she didn’t like Dan. Quite the opposite. She liked him a lot. As she cleared some room on her dressing table, she reflected on Dan’s good points. Thoughtful. Not just in thinking of others, but thinking in general. When people around him were discussing anything, he would think about what he was going to say before he said it. And he was always considerate of the feelings of others. He had come a long way from being the street kid heading for juvenile hall.
Honey placed the vase of flowers in the space she had created. She picked up the framed photo that was next to the vase. It had all seven Bob Whites in it. Honey was in the center of the group, with Brian next to her, and Dan behind her. As her eyes drifted from one to the other, she felt a wave of desperation wash over her. What was she going to do?
Trixie. Trixie would help. She and Trixie told each other everything. Or, almost. Honey knew that Trixie understood her feelings for Brian. Anyway, she was going to tell her now. Honey picked up the white phone that sat on her bedside table, and dialed the familiar number.
"Hello?"
Honey slammed the phone down. She couldn’t. No way. There was no way she could talk to Brian. Not even to ask him to get Trixie. Tears rolled down her face as she lay back on her bed. Darn it, Brian, why couldn’t it have been you?
There was a gentle knock at the door. Honey quickly wiped the tears from her eyes, and called out.
"Come in".
Miss Trask poked her head in the door.
"Honey, are you feeling up to some dinner?"
"Um, no. My stomach is still feeling queasy. I think I’ll pass." That was no lie, Honey did not feel well at all.
"Very well, dear. Please come down and get something when you feel better." Miss Trask smiled at Honey as she closed the door. Honey lay on the bed and groaned. She had no idea what she was going to do. Heck, she had no idea what she was thinking or feeling. Mercifully, she soon fell asleep, thus ceasing any thoughts of Dan, Brian and flowers for a good ten hours.
* * *
The knock on the door startled Honey in the morning. It had only felt like ten minutes ago that Miss Trask had popped her head in and asked Honey if she felt like dinner. And now here she was again!
"Honey, dear, it’s time to get up. How are you feeling today?"
Honey sat up in bed. She now had a vague recollection of waking up fully clothed, and somehow managing to slip into her pyjamas and crawling under the covers. And as for how she was feeling?
"Uh, I’m fine actually. Much better thanks," Honey replied, yawning. Yep, all traces of her gastro had gone; all that was left was the heartache of the previous day. In an instant Honey decided that she was not going to hide away from her dilemma. Maybe seeing Dan and Brian on the bus would help her.
"Come down for breakfast whenever you’re ready then, dear." Miss Trask smiled at Honey and closed the door.
Honey showered and dressed with little enthusiasm. She ate only enough breakfast in order not to raise any eyebrows or have any questions asked about the state of her health. She knew that physically she was fine, but mentally and emotionally? Ugh…don’t even go down that path! After a brief goodbye, Honey grabbed her bag and trudged down to the bus stop.
As she walked down the long driveway to the bus stop, Honey felt the urge to be sick again. However, she knew that it was nerves, and not the stomach virus that led her to feel this way. Butterflies danced a merry jig in her stomach as the pancakes that were so delicious this morning threatened to find their own way out of her body. Jim had left earlier, running to the Beldens' for some reason, she didn’t know what. He would join her on the bus. The longer she waited for the bus, the stronger the urge to run back up that driveway and hide in her room for the rest of her life.
Honey knew that it was highly likely that both Dan and Brian would be on the bus that morning. It was not a welcome thought. She would have to thank Dan face to face. But how could she do that without letting the others know? But maybe they did know? The butterflies in her stomach changed course as she thought about Dan’s flowers. Involuntarily, she smiled. It was really sweet of Dan to send her flowers. She wondered what Brian would say if he knew. Would he care? Or would he be jealous? Would he want to fight Dan? Or would he just let it go? Another smile formed on her lips, a half smile as she thought about a confrontation between Brian and Dan, in which Brian stood up and declared his love for Honey.
The rumble of the approaching school bus cut short her fantasy, right at the point where Brian let go of his school bag, grabbed Honey and began to kiss her passionately…Maybe, just maybe, it might work…
As Honey stepped on the bus, the sight of him made her breath stop short. She had never been more nervous facing Brian than she was this morning. It’s ridiculous, she thought, as she walked towards her friends at the back of the bus. I have known Brian for two years, and I have never been nervous around him. He hasn’t changed, he’s still the same person who has made your heart do flip-flops for the past two years. But something had changed. And Dan had changed it. In one small move, Dan had brought up something that Brian hadn’t.
Feelings for Honey.
"Honey! Are you feeling better?" Trixie engulfed her friend in a huge hug that almost took her off her feet.
"I’m fine, thanks, Trix," replied Honey. As she sat down in front of Trixie, she looked over towards Mart and Brian. "Morning, guys." Next to Trixie, Jim ruffled her hair, his way of saying hi. Mart smiled and responded with a bright and cheery "Hi Honey!" Brian looked up from the notes he was reading. "Hello Honey!" he murmured, his eyes barely focussing on her face. He dropped his head again, and returned to reading his notes.
Honey felt like crying. She tried to blink back the tears that were forming in her eyes. Miraculously, she succeeded. He didn’t even notice. I’m away for a day, and he can’t even look at me. DARN YOU, BRIAN BELDEN!
As the bus slowed down to pick up the next passenger, Honey’s heart began to pound. Well, I’ll show you Brian.
Her heart skipped a beat as the tall, dark Dan Mangan walked down the aisle of the bus. He called out a good morning to everyone, and smiled at them all.
He looked at Honey last, and for what felt like the longest time. As he smiled at her, she sensed he was nervous. Her resolve to make Brian jealous disappeared. She could never do that, it wasn’t in her nature to be manipulative, to use others for her own benefit. And especially not to Dan.
"I see you’re feeling better today Honey," he said, as he slid into a vacant seat. She looked up at him and smiled. "Yes I am, thanks Dan." Her smiled widened, and she knew that Dan understood exactly what she was thanking him for. For one second she looked into his eyes. His dark eyes.
It was like the first time she had really looked at him. She didn’t know what she had seen before. He had just been a friend before. And he still was. But she couldn’t get those dark eyes out of her mind. And, what she had seen in them. Concern, tenderness, nerves, a little fear even. And, dare she say it, even to herself, love?
The bus jolted suddenly, breaking the gaze. Honey looked around at her friends. Mart and Diana Lynch were sitting next to each other, whispering, obviously a lot closer than they had been previously. Gee, that happened pretty suddenly. Behind her, she could hear Jim and Trixie laughing, as he teased her about her obsession with Lucy Radcliffe books. And then she looked at Brian, sitting on his own, head still bent over his notes. He didn’t see her. Again.
She looked at Dan. He was watching her watch Brian. A frown crossed his face. For a brief moment, she knew what he was feeling. Sadness. Misery almost. Despair. Defeat.
Why defeat? she wondered.
He turned away, and looked out the window. As she watched him, she knew he didn’t see the scenery rushing past.
Oh Dan, what did you expect? I have loved Brian for a long time. He was always the person I thought I’d be with. Yes, it was a childhood dream. But it was him.
Dan was the last person she expected to like her. The absolute last. Never in her wildest dreams did she ever expect this to happen. She suddenly pictured Dan, as he was the first time he stepped on the Sleepyside school bus two years ago. Underneath the tough, don’t care façade, she saw the hand that shook slightly. Beneath the hard eyes, she saw the fear. She remembered wanting to reach out and touch him, and say "hey, everything will be okay". But she would never have dared talk to a guy like that, one wearing a leather jacket, one looking so tough. All she could do was smile, and nudge Trixie hard as she made some sort of comment about a motorcycle.
She thought of Dan as he was now. How he had changed. He was still tough, nothing could soften him really after all he had experienced on the streets. But he wasn’t hard. He would give his last jacket to a stranger if he thought they needed it more than he did.
He still wore his hair long. At least up to his shoulders. He wore his shirts open over baggy t-shirts and well-worn Levi’s. He had traded his cowboy boots for a good pair of Doc Martins ages ago. He would have fitted right in at a Pearl Jam concert. Honey couldn’t think of a place she would fit in less. And yet he still fit in with the Bob-Whites as well.
The bus arrived at Sleepyside Junior-Senior High. There were the usual groans of students, muttering about another day of school. She stood up, and waited for Di and Mart to pass her. As they did, she noticed they were holding hands. She smiled. They really were a cute couple.
Her smile faded as she was confronted by the sight of Brian and Dan. They both stood up at the same time, and moved out of their seats, meeting in the aisle.
Honey looked at them. Brian, with his nice jeans and shirt, and hair brushed back neatly. Dan, pushing his hair back behind his ears.
Her heart skipped a beat. They both looked so handsome, yet in totally different ways. They both smiled at her, motioning for her to move out.
As she walked in front of them, she thought about their smiles. Brian’s had been warm, yet aloof. His mind was obviously elsewhere. He didn’t even realise that he had a rival in Dan.
Rival? Rival for what? He had shown no interest in Honey other than that of a friend for the past six months.
And he wasn’t likely to either.
Honey’s heart sank. She knew it was never going to happen with Brian. As she shuffled along slowly behind the other students, she thought of Dan’s smile. It was still sad. The defeat was still there. Her heart skipped again. Yeah, but it was still a nice smile. As she stepped off the bus into the morning sunlight, she thought of Dan’s smile again. The one she first saw this morning. Her heart started tripping in fast confusion.
What on earth was going on here?
And as the sun shone brightly on her skin, she realised. And she knew what she had to do.
She saw Dan walking towards the school entrance.
"Dan!" He stopped walking and turned around. He smiled when he saw who it was that had called him. She ran over. She looked in his eyes. This time, the fear was gone, and there was no defeat. Only hope.
"Thank you for the flowers. They were beautiful." And Honey reached over and kissed him on the cheek.
Before waiting for his reply, she ran off, totally embarrassed by what she had just done. She ran over to Trixie, who had just watched the whole scene with her mouth open.
Dan watched them talk excitedly. Trixie hugged Honey. As she did, she caught Dan’s eye, and behind Honey’s head, she gave Dan a thumbs up.
And as Dan walked into the school building, he wondered if he would ever stop smiling.
The End
Note from Zap: I bent the guidelines slightly for this story. This was an exception, not the rule and should not be a barometer for any future stories.