*a single expletive
Disclaimer and acknowledgement: I don’t know why I bother writing this…if the bigwigs at Golden even knew that we existed, and all the love we had for these characters that I am using without permission, then maybe there would be more Trixie books…
This story follows "Don’t Wait" which follows "Keep Me Guessing" which follows "Letter to a Princess"…
Words Get in the Way…
By Sandra
"What do you mean, you couldn’t tell? It wasn’t half obvious."
"Obvious? To whom? You? What isn’t obvious to you, Trixie?"
"But you’re her…oh, just forget it," Trixie Belden groaned, as she pulled her headband out of her hair. She pulled at her short curls, then rearranged the blue band once more in her hair.
Red-haired Jim Frayne glanced at his pretty blonde riding companion. He could sense her rising frustration, and fought the urge to grin. He loved setting her up like this, watching her take the bait. If only she knew how utterly irresistible she was when she was angry.
The sun was setting on another beautiful Sleepyside day, as Trixie and Jim rode through the game preserve. The last rays of sunlight poked through the tall trees of the preserve, as the sun spread its crimson streaks far away. It promised another day of wonderful spring weather.
The discussion forgotten, Jim and Trixie rode in companionable silence, their own thoughts filling the void.
"How is Brian taking things?" Jim asked Trixie. Again the conversation returned to the current hot topic of discussion among the folk who lived along Glen Road in outer Sleepyside.
Trixie snorted. "He hasn’t even realised. He is so caught up in his studying, and God knows what else. I mean, we never see him anymore. He spends all his time holed up in his room. I guess he’s studying, I don’t know. Has he said anything to you?"
"Not a thing. About anything actually. Funny thing is, neither has Honey. She just walks around the huge with this huge smile on her face. I would never have believed it actually. Dan and Honey."
"Why not?" asked Trixie.
Jim hesitated. "Well, I thought that Dan…" his voice trailed off. He wished he hadn’t started actually.
"Thought that Dan what?" but Trixie was persistent.
Jim looked her straight in the eyes. "I thought that Dan was interested in you."
Trixie looked away and smiled wistfully, lost in her own world for a few moments. Then, like the sun when a cloud passes over, her smile faded. Jim watched the smile disappear, to be replaced by a frown. He wished he had the courage to add "and I’m glad he’s not". But something held him back. He turned away from her, and stared straight ahead. He could not get the vision of her out of his head. Her curls gently blowing across her forehead in the late afternoon breeze, the sun bringing out the golden highlights, how her blue eyes sparkled as she spoke, the excitement and happiness for her best friend obvious in them. Maybe I will say something, it’s about time…
"Trixie, I…"
But Trixie interrupted him. "Jim, I think the horses have had enough. It’s starting to get a bit chilly now, I think we should go back." Without waiting for an answer, she began to take the path that would take them back to the Wheeler stables. Jim shrugged his shoulders. He had no choice but to follow. Another blown opportunity. Geez Frayne, when are you going to get your act together?
Catching up to Trixie, Jim saw that determined look on her face, her eyes focused on the bridle trail in front of her . Just by her profile, he could see the eyes set straight ahead, her head and shoulders upright. Not a good time to tell her how I feel.
They rode back in silence. The post ride grooming was also completed in silence. Jim was kicking himself as he vigourously scrubbed the saddle. I should have said something. I had the perfect opportunity, the perfect setting, the perfect girl. He knew that Trixie was upset about something. Her face seemed to be getting redder by the minute. She still looks cute.. Why on earth is she mad?
Women. Who can work them out?
Concentrating on his own work, he barely noticed that Trixie had finished. With a slight nod to Regan, who was watching the pair with an amused smile he was trying hard to hide, she brushed past Jim, and made her way back to Crabapple Farm. Jim put down his comb in disbelief, and watched her flounce away. He turned to look at Regan with a "what did I do?" expression, to which Regan replied with a "don’t ask me!" shrug of the shoulders. He finished his work and left with a grunt, vaguely resembling "Goodbye" to Regan.
Each step he walked, he grew angrier and more frustrated. What the hell was eating her? He stormed into the Manor House, slamming the door behind him. As he stalked up the stairs, he almost bumped into his sister.
"Hi Jim, have a good ride?" She looked so happy, he hated himself when he answered with a harsh "No," pushing past her as he headed into his room.
What’s eating him? Honey wondered, concerned. She made a mental note to ring Trixie and see if everything was all right. After she rang Dan, of course. The smile returned to her face, and she floated back into her room, and gently closed the door.
A wave of guilt washed over Jim as he heard Honey’s door close. He knew he shouldn’t speak to her that way. It wasn’t her fault that Trixie was an unpredictable, incomprehensible female. Certainly Honey wasn’t. He had never met a girl so calm, uncomplicated and sensible. Now considerably calmer, Jim walked to Honey’s room, and knocked gently on the door. "Can I come in?"
"Yeah."
"Honey, I’m sorry for taking my temper out on you."
She was sitting cross-legged on her bed, intently writing something onto the paper in the binder in her lap. She looked up at him and smiled. "Don’t worry about it, Jim." She lowered her head and continued with her scribbling. As he closed the door behind him, Jim wanted to take back his earlier observations about his sister. His calm, sensible sister was doodling lovehearts all over her binder with the initials DM and MW in them.
The jangle of the phone took his mind away from the weird females around him. As he walked to the black antique handset in the hall, he heard a girlish scream, followed by an "I’ll get it!" Jim had to smile as he heard Honey almost whisper an excited "hello?" into the phone. The excitement left her voice quickly as she replied with a "hang on, I’ll get him." Jim turned around to see Honey pale, biting her lower lip nervously. "Jim, it’s Brian for you on the phone." Honey handed him her phone, which he took into his room.
"Hey Brian, what’s up?" Jim sat on his bed, and removed his Nikes with his left hand.
"Umm, you busy tonight?"
"Now I am, why?" Jim lay back on his bed.
"Can you come over? I need to talk to you." Brian spoke in a lifeless monotone. Jim was instantly very concerned. He sat up quickly.
"Sure. Are you okay?"
"Yeah, nah, I guess…" Jim could hear the insecurity in his best friend’s voice.
"I’ll be over in half an hour. Just let me grab something to eat first." Jim swung his long legs over the bed and slipped them back into his Nikes.
There was a pause as Jim heard Brian talking to someone in the background. "Moms said you can eat here. Mart just called to say he’s catching a movie with Di, so there will be plenty." As Jim started to protest, saying it was okay, Brian interrupted him. "Please?"
Jim couldn’t resist. "No worries, I’ll be right there." He sighed, as he tied his laces. Brian sounded bad. He wondered if he was upset over Honey and Dan. But he couldn’t be. Could he? He hadn’t taken any notice of Honey for ages.
As Jim returned the phone to Honey, he noticed her smile had faded, to be replaced by concern. "Jim, Brian didn’t sound too well. Is he okay?"
Jim smiled, his heart full of love for his sensitive, caring, if not always totally sensible sister. "He’s fine, I think he has been working too hard. I’m going there now." Jim wasn’t too sure of this himself, but it seemed like the right thing to say to Honey. "Don’t worry Sis, he’ll be fine."
Honey hugged him. "Thanks Jim." As he returned the hug, the phone rang again. Honey shrieked in his ear. "I bet it’s Dan!" She quickly answered the phone, which she had still been holding. Jim smiled, as her smile returned, and she quickly ran to her room and closed the door. At least Honey was happy. And Dan of course. And there was also Di and Mart, who were inseparable at the moment.
That was over half the Bob-Whites happy and in love. Now there was just him and Brian.
And, of course, Trixie.
Funny, his thoughts always returned to her. As Jim walked down the stairs, he realised that eating at Brian’s house meant that he would have to see Trixie. He thought again about her behaviour that afternoon. Maybe the walk down to Crabapple Farm would do him good. Maybe, as he recalled yet again the events, gestures, words of the afternoon ride, he could work out that girl. Or, at least, what went wrong.
As he walked the familiar path, Jim replayed the afternoon’s events in his mind over and over again. There was nothing he said or did that could have annoyed Trixie. Unless she was upset at the way he deliberately annoyed her when they were talking about Honey and Dan. But he always teased her like that. She had never minded before. Why now?
But they never argued about Honey before. Or Dan.
Dan.
Dan?
Suddenly Jim recalled a comment he made regarding Dan.
"I thought that Dan was interested in you."
He remembered that at that comment, Trixie’s expression changed. She smiled, but not a happy smile. No it wasn’t happy. What was it? Like she wished what Jim had said was true. Jim stopped short. His heart sank as he digested this new thought.
"My God. Trixie likes Dan."
At that point, Crabapple Farm loomed in front of him. Jim’s stomach churned, as he thought more and more about Trixie and Dan. Of course, he could see why. Dan had that whole "bad boy turns good" persona. He wasn’t straight and conservative like Jim was. He didn’t stick to the rules every single time. And he didn’t continually try and protect Trixie either. A fact Jim knew irritated Trixie enormously, and was the cause of many of their arguments. Jim stared at the cozy farmhouse. All of a sudden he had no desire to enter its warmth, for he knew there he would have to face the woman of his dreams, knowing that he was not the man of hers.
Jim kicked the dirt in front of him in anger, frightening away two small birds who were having a private conversation nearby. He felt like cursing at the top of his voice. But of course he didn’t. He was the good boy. He didn’t drink, smoke or swear.
Not that Dan did either. Anymore. But he could. And if he did, then it almost wouldn’t be wrong, it would fit right in. After all, Dan still had that image, despite all the changes he had gone through.
If Jim started wearing the grungy clothes that Dan wore naturally, grew his hair long, and listened to that depressing music that Dan loved, it would be…wrong. He just wasn’t that kind of guy.
The kind of guy that girls like his sister found so appealing. The kind of guy Trixie wanted.
Jim shivered, as the sun sank lower, and the breeze picked up. He didn’t want to go now. But he had to. Brian needed him. He could sympathise with Brian. They had both lost their girls to the same guy. Who happened to be a really nice one at that, and one of their best friends to boot. Jim fought the urge to run back to Manor House and hide in his bedroom forever. But he wasn’t a quitter.
He would face Trixie.
Maybe one day he would get over it.
Not likely. I wanna go home!
Jim grunted in disgust. Get yourself together Frayne, and be a man.
He took a deep breath and continued the now arduous journey to Crabapple Farm. As he walked the last few steps, he kicked himself mentally for all those times he didn’t tell Trixie how he felt. Maybe if he had, she would be the one doodling his initials into her binder.
But something always got in the way. It never seemed to be the right time, or the right place, or someone interrupted them. Something was always not right.
Yeah, you! Jim didn’t want to think about it anymore. As he approached the back door, he took a deep breath, and raised his hand to knock. The door opened before he could, and Jim froze, his fist clenched, mid air, as Trixie held the door open for him.
"Come in, Jim." She looked at him, sadness evident in those blue, blue eyes. They seemed red. Had she been crying?
Oh Trixie, I’m sorry, I really am. If only I had’ve spoken sooner, and not let everything else get in the way. Then maybe, just maybe, you wouldn’t have fallen for Dan, and now be upset because he likes your best friend. I’m sorry, Trix. He wanted to beg, plead, get down on his hands and knees. And he would have if he thought it would have an effect. He had learnt his lesson about holding back.
But again, the words remained unsaid. Just like all the other words he meant to say but never had a chance to.
Jim entered the Belden kitchen, where he was besieged upon by Reddy and Bobby both wanting his instant attention. His stomach simultaneously rumbled hungrily at the tantalising smell of BBQ ribs and churned at the thought of sharing a dinner table with Trixie. Helen Belden smiled warmly as she greeted him.
"Dinner will be ready in ten minutes. Could you pass the message on to him as you go up to him?"
"Not a problem." Jim smiled at her, but his smile never reached his eyes. He knew Trixie was in the background. As he turned around to climb the stairs, breaking free from the hold Bobby had on him, he was face to face with her. He wished he could speak to her now, but as usual, there was something in the way. This time, it wasn’t the timing, or the setting, or even the people and animal around them. It was the truth that had dawned on him on the pathway. Trixie liked someone else. Not him. He walked past her, his heart growing heavier with each step he took towards Brian’s room.
At least Brian would know how he felt. He knocked on Brian’s door.
"Come in." There was that lifeless voice again.
Jim entered silently. Brian sat on the floor, his long legs stretched out in front of him, staring morosely at the window. Jim sat down quietly next to him. Together they watched the sun as it finished its journey in the sky, leaving the blazing red trail that Jim had witnessed the beginning of only an hour earlier.
Neither spoke. There was no need. Words would have only gotten in the way.
The End